Mind Games
by wild-filly
Summary: REPOSTED! Finally back after unexpected deletion. Yagami Raito had considered many possibilities arising from using the Death Note, but being handcuffed to a certain sugar reliant insomniac, and all that this entailed, was not among them... Raito/L.
1. Chapter 1

Hello! For those of you who haven't read this fic before, this is in fact a re-posting of Mind Games. It was taken down after two years, because apparently I wrote an author's note where I shouldn't have. At one point it boasted over 200 000 hits and 934 reviews. I've decided that posting this fanfic anywhere else is too hard for my computer-illiteracy to handle, so here it is. I haven't changed a thing, except for taking out some of the author notes, just to make sure that I don't get kicked off the site again. Thanks to everyone for their support. You've all been wonderful to me, and so very patient. It seemed a shame to let one bad rap let this whole story waste away on my hard drive when I knew that so many people wanted it back. Thank you all once again.

Disclaimer: wild-filly does not own Death Note. If she did, L would be loved and cherished and most certainly _not_ by Raito.

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Mind Games

Chapter 1: Insomniacs make Lousy Roommates

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_I just can't look, it's killing me_

_And taking control _

_Jealousy, turning saints into the sea _

_Swimming through sick lullabies _

_Choking on your alibis_

_But it's just the price I pay _

_Destiny is calling me _

Yagami Raito had seen many strange things in his lifetime. Having a gaunt, staring and apple-obsessed Shinigami appear in your life tends to make most other events seem relatively mundane. Indeed, had this particular situation that he was currently faced with not come up, then the arrival of Ryuuk could have maintained its previously unchallenged reign as the weirdest thing that had ever happened to him.

This however, was all before he ended up handcuffed to a member of the same gender.

Now, Yagami Raito thought himself relatively normal for a young homicidal genius sociopath. It can also be fairly said that Raito had not thought it logical for himself to become handcuffed to the spidery detective that was Ryuuzaki, L. He had contemplated many possible outcomes, but this one had well and truly thrown a spanner in the works. He had expected confinement, but this was certainly not the type that he had had in mind. If it had occurred to him that L would go to these highly embarrassing lengths, then he might have considered making a couple of provisos before advocating his innocence be proven through imprisonment. As far as Raito was concerned, what he was going through was now nothing short of torture.

It was now three in the morning, and Raito was sprawled in front of his computer, staring blankly into the fuzzy screen. Actually, it was his eyes that were doing all of the fuzzing. The screen was perfectly functional. Not that he was going to admit that. There wasn't a chance that he or his body were to blame for this slump.

It was all L's fault.

And indeed, like with most things in life, Raito was correct. The spindly insomniac was riveted on his own screen, black eyes even darker with self-enforced fatigue, great shadows gouging grooves into pallid skin. Frail fingers tacked the keys at intervals, mouse clicking and mingling with the faint _tick_ of Raito's watch and the hum of the water cooler. Other than that, the room was deathly silent. All that confirmed that L was still alive was the shallow rise and fall of his chest, and the occasional flutter of his lids over tortured pupils. It amazed him that such a sharp mind needed to run on so little sleep. Raito himself, however, was another kettle of fish entirely.

"Haven't we done enough for the night, Ryuuzaki?" He tried to make the statement noncommittal, allowing his body to release a yawn that he had been suppressing out of pride. "Unless there's something groundbreaking that you've just found, I don't see the point in staying up like this."

L stared diligently ahead, without even blinking to suggest that he had heard Raito's complaint. Raito felt his fists clench despite himself, blinking heavily. His eyelids felt as though someone had lined them with lead. Even a genius had to sleep sometime. Although apparently L seemed capable of deferring this necessity for painfully prolonged periods of time. Lifting one hand to rub the sleep from his eyes set the handcuff links clinking, finally catching the hunched detective's attention.

"Sorry Yagami-kun?" It was both an apology and a question, and yet also neither. Raito steeled himself not to let his annoyance show.

"I'm tired, Ryuuzaki. I'm not functioning productively enough to merit staying up any longer." The politeness of his words grated on Raito's nerves. How was he supposed to maintain his perfect mask when he was being tortured so? There was no way that he was going to ask L outright to go to bed. It just sounded so… weak. Not to mention dodgy.

"Hm." L's response was as emotive and informative as Raito's carefully monitored facial expression. He cursed mentally. By the progress of things, he was going to have to play the pathetic role in order to get anywhere. How humiliating. He never thought he'd see the day that he'd be begging another male to stop work and come to bed. He shuddered. The words sounded wrong even in his head. He had to find some way to make it sound less disturbing than he thought it was. Sometimes it sucked being a genius. He was able to interpret words under all kinds of different contexts; very few of which at the moment said a lot about Raito's own sexuality. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Please. We started working just after eight this morning. I don't know how you manage to support these hours, but I'm just not as good at it as you." There. He'd finally admitted defeat to L in one precious area of life. Raito clenched his teeth. Such humility was almost agonizing. How very peculiar. But if it obtained the right reaction, then it would be worth it. Besides, what was wrong with being beaten in the 'Who doesn't need mascara to look like a panda?' contest? He could let L pull this one over him. He had bigger problems to overcome.

"Ah, Yagami-kun. I forget so easily…" L trailed off, absentmindedly brushing spiky black bangs from his face as he stared pensively up at the ceiling, thumb pinched between both lips meditatively. "This is a nuisance. I am not in the least bit tired." He sounded most putout, insofar as Ryuuzaki was ever openly annoyed. If Raito weren't so haggard with his own annoyance, then he might have thought to note this with some interest.

"Well I am," retorted Raito irritably. "Just perch the laptop on the night table or something. I can ignore the light. I just need to get some sleep."

L blinked, rolling one eye back at Raito. "But I can't sit properly on a bed." He was whining at Raito? What was the world coming to…

"Just lean your back against the headboard." How obvious was it?

"I can't balance a laptop on my knees. The screen tips, and besides, the underside of the computer is too hot." L listed off the reasons on his fingers, pointedly gesturing with each one, staring pointedly at Raito in the process.

"Then sit like a normal human being for a change," Raito was getting more and more angry. Was L testing his patience? Did he expect Raito to crack under the pressure of not enough sleep and aggravating arguments? It was a surefire way to get him to crack one way or another. Being locked in a cell was bad enough, but at least he was able to sleep then.

L chose not to respond to that comment, instead shaking his head and turning back to his laptop, poring over some document with miniscule text and proceeding to ignore Raito. Raito gritted his teeth. _I mustn't do anything incriminating. I can't let him suspect me just because I'm a little tired._ Ryuuzaki was flicking indiscriminately through police documents and websites. There was nothing very important amongst those pages that Raito could see. L was stalling for some reason, and Raito had a bad feeling that he knew what reason it was.

"Ryuuzaki-kun?" L didn't even move. One stray lock of hair slipped from its perch on the boy's messy stack, but that was all. Raito took a deep breath, hoisting a demure, reproachful mask back into place. "I'm sorry."

A barely perceptible movement caught his eye, as L inclined his head ever-so-slightly towards him. "For what?"

"Being rude," _Just don't choke, no matter how irritating the words are_. "I'm just so tired I'm not thinking properly. Please. Can we call it quits? I want to go to bed." There. He'd said it. Now all that needed to happen was for the world to spontaneously combust.

Amazingly, L's swivel chair spun slowly around so that the other boy was facing him, dark eyes owlish under his tangled mop of hair. The detective's eyes were serious, wide and stark within the hollows of their sockets. "Very well, Yagami-kun. You only had to ask, you know."

At that moment, if Raito had had the Death Note, he'd have sat and written every name in existence down just on the off-chance that he could have wiped that docile smirk off his unwitting rival's face.

Raito sank gratefully down onto the well-sprung double bed. It was extremely odd to be sharing a bed with another person. Yes, in his childhood he had gone over to sleepovers like other children, or shared a bed with family members when there wasn't any space at get-togethers, but never had it happened like this before. For one thing, he didn't even know L's real name. Secondly, L was probably the _last_ person he'd have picked to share a building with, let alone a bed. And thirdly, he had never realized just how inconvenient chains could be. Every time he attempted to shift position, he was either hindered by the clanking clinks, or experienced a chill as a metallic coil pressed against flesh.

L settled awkwardly to his right, prodding the pillows and fiddling with the blankets. Raito glared sleepily at him. "Must you do that?"

"Yes," replied L simply. With one deft tug, he swept the top blanket right out from under the startled Raito and proceeded to fold it pedantically into a curve about his pillow. It had to be one of the most peculiar things that Raito had seen from L all day, along with the eating of marshmallows with a cocktail skewer and portable heater.

Raito swallowed his annoyance and instead voiced his more pressing curiosity. "What are you doing, making a nest?" It looked for all the world that the wide-eyed detective was manufacturing a crude nest out of blankets and pillows. It was the first time that Raito had witnessed this behaviour. Not that he made a habit out of observing Ryuuzaki, of course.

L glanced at him coolly. "I always sleep like this. When I do sleep, that is."

Ah. Raito had had a feeling that he usually fell asleep before L did, but this just proved it. That brought another little thought up to the surface. "What do you do when I'm sleeping and you're not?"

L shot him a puzzled stare. "I think about the Kira case, or about something else that catches my attention."

"Like what?" The question was posed innocently enough.

"Like pondering the strange things that you call out in your sleep and occasionally having to pry myself out of your wandering clutches."

Raito's face instantly took on the hue and temperature of cooked beetroot. "What did you say?!" he spluttered in humiliated disbelief. "I most certainly would do no such thing!" The very thought filled him with disgust, and he had a strong suspicion that the other boy was teasing him. It was hard to tell, as L stared back at him as blankly as ever.

"In your conscious state, perhaps," mused L demurely as he patted another pillow carefully into place. "You'd be amazed what people do when their brains drift off and their subconscious takes over."

"No subconscious of mine would behave like that," growled Raito stubbornly. "It's all the fault of these stupid handcuffs. If you'd just take them off then I could get to sleep and you could stay up as long as you wanted."

L shook his head sadly, examining the patchwork of his newest addition to the blanket collection. "I can't do that, Yagami-kun. You know that."

"You can so," insisted Raito. "I keep telling you I'm not Kira, and besides, this place is filled with cameras and microphones. What could I do that would possibly get past your security with or without the handcuffs?"

"What could you do?" L easily threw the question back at him, sleepless eyes staring starkly back at the weary genius.

"Nothing! That's my point." Hm. A new tact sprang to mind. He turned away from L, lying with his back towards the quizzical detective. "For crying out loud Ryuuzaki. You said that you were my friend. Why can't you trust me?" A sappy move to pull, he knew. But on the other hand, it might just work. L might be well-versed in the interpretation of humans in general, but not of those he considered friends. Emotions conflicted with reason. Logic would be pushed aside in favour of some other answer that the head wanted to, rather than did believe. Would it work on L? Ryuuzaki might have just demonstrated an inappropriate sense of humour only a minute ago. It was unlikely, but still worth a gamble.

"You are my friend. That doesn't mean that you aren't Kira." L stated simply. Raito felt the bed shake as L lowered himself into the tussle of blankets and pillows that he had gathered for himself. He resisted the urge to turn around and see how precisely L had managed to fit into the fort of blanketing.

"You are saying that you would be friends with Kira?" sneered Raito. "Whose side are you on?"

"No," mused L quietly. "I'm saying that Yagami-kun is my friend. I am also saying that Yagami-kun might be Kira. I have also said that I am hoping that I am wrong about the latter."

Raito grimaced and buried his head into his own pillow, noting with some annoyance that L had taken the softer ones. "Then why not believe me when I say that I'm not? It's not that you can't believe me, it's that you just won't." With that, he pulled the blanket up to his ears in a pointed show of not paying attention. L didn't say anything. Let the sugar-fixated detective think that he'd hurt him. That might change the standings a little. Raito was good at manipulating people in general, but L was proving a difficult one to steer as a person. Could he perhaps achieve better results under a different masquerade? L obviously wasn't used to having friends, if the fact that he'd picked a murderer with a god complex as his first was anything to go by, so perhaps he could get the handcuffs off, as well as suspicion, by acting more like a friend?

It was a novel concept, and not one that appealed to Raito very much, but it was a hypothesis that just might prove accurate. But how to enact it?

Luckily, although questionably so for Raito, his answer came only a few hours later.

Raito blinked muzzily, buried deep under the mounds of blankets that had been piled onto the bed. So warm, so sleepy. His body was completely relaxed at last, warmth all about him in the dull brightness of the room. He could almost forget that he was not at home, and not at liberty. The thick walls of plush coverings were a great comfort. It felt as though he were completely enshrouded in a warm, soft cloud. There was also a great source of heat across his back. A heated blanket? He wouldn't put it past L, what with all those blankets he had been hauling out. Not that Raito had complained about this of course; there were more barriers between himself and the spindly, socially-challenged figure that was L.

L. The thought of his rival sent a spark of wariness flickering up to his brain. He was sharing the same sleeping quarters as L. Vague cognizance of what L had said earlier about Raito's sleeping habits came flooding back to him with a burn of shame. Deciding to see what had happened in the course of his sleeping, and hopefully repair any damage before it was fully light, Raito allowed one eye to open a crack. And hurriedly shut it again.

Oh good lord.

Steeling himself and opening the eye again, Raito determined that the situation was, indeed, as bad as he had first thought it to be.

The chain that connected L's wrist to Raito's had become tangled during some course of the morning, when both youths were asleep at the same time for possibly the first time. It was now wrapped in a most intriguing fashion about Raito's torso, effectively pinning his arms to his sides. But, as disturbing as that was for the university student, that was not the worst of it.

Curled in a catlike fashion, nose a mere handful of centimetres away from his own, was L. Staring back at Raito, in a catlike fashion, was L. A horrified catlike fashion, but a catlike one nonetheless. It occurred then to Raito that the warmth at his back was in fact _L's arm_ draped over his ribcage.

Neither of them said anything. They just stared, too shocked to move.

"Take this damn chain off me _now_!"

L was the first to react, shooting backwards as Raito flushed with embarrassment and anger. Squirming, arms still tightly constricted about his sides, in the brief moment when Raito was changing from shock to seeing red, he wondered just how on earth he had managed to become so entangled in the first place. The logic was questionable, and he didn't particularly like the envisagement of how said logic had come about. In between thrashes, he decided to file that thought under "suppressed memories" and never think of it again.

L shuffled himself backwards as far as the chain would allow, face still paralysed with shock. He seemed transfixed by Raito's struggles as he tried to shuck himself from the constricting chain. If Raito hadn't been so enraged, he'd have thought the look of complete and utter disbelief and confusion writ across his rival's pallid face quite hilarious.

"Yagami-kun," L stuttered, eyes still wide and incapable of movement. For once, the great detective was at a loss for words.

"Don't just sit there, help me!" The demand seemed to knock L back into reality. The wiry young man leant over and spun his chained arm in a circle over Raito's head, slowly unwinding the chain.

Arms freed, Raito angrily tossed the chain links to one side and massaged his ribs under his pyjama shirt. Red marks flared where the links had dug in, deep imprints evidence that the chain had been wrapped there for some time. "This shouldn't have happened," he muttered darkly. "This chain business is a menace. Not to mention it hasn't proven anything."

"I'm sorry, Yagami-kun," murmured L. "I did not foresee something like that happening."

"How could you not?" questioned Raito forcefully. "You fell asleep and the two of us were attached to a chain, so of course something like that would happen! I'm just surprised that it didn't happen earlier."

"It didn't happen because I wasn't asleep any of those times."

Raito froze, caught off guard. "That's impossible. That means that you haven't slept for the eight days that these chains have been on."

"I powernap in between pages loading on the internet."

"You're kidding." Raito knew that his expression was set to 'shocked' mode, but also knew that this was an entirely voluntary thing. "Why haven't you slept until now?"

L shook his head, black eyes expressionless. "Would you fall asleep next to Kira?"

_Actually my choices are limited on that front. _"No, but I'm not Kira. Does this mean that you no longer suspect me, or that you passed out from exhaustion?" He was still shaken enough to get away with sarcasm. L just stared back at him with a bemused look on his face. "I don't know… I don't remember making a complete decision on that."

"But you fell asleep, so that means something doesn't it?"

"What does it mean?" That was two questions thrown back at him in one morning. He needed to learn how to attach homing devices to his statements to prevent this from occurring in future.

"I don't know," he shrugged, plastering a speculative look onto his face. "Maybe it's your subconscious relaxing around me even as your mind doesn't. After all, some people put a lot of faith into their instincts. Did your instincts just declare my innocence?"

L was giving him a funny look. It wasn't quite a glare and it wasn't quite a grin. "You think that, do you?"

"If I said so, then I obviously thought it. After all, it's not as if I'm reading palm-cards."

L eyes were locked onto his, pupils rapt as if searching for some flicker that would give Raito's deceit away. He offered nothing. Let the other young man think whatever he wanted. Either way, the whole chain incident had been his fault, so let him deal with the consequences. Speaking of which, he was certain that those red marks were going to bruise. He hiked up his flannelette shirt to take a closer look at the damage.

"Hmph. I hope these don't leave a mark," he commented dryly. Not a chance of that happening though. Some of them were already turning a faint shade of purple. L's focus detached from its probing of Raito's pupils and onto his bruised torso. One hand raised, and faltered in the air. For one moment, Raito thought that L was going to lean over and touch one of the small indentations. The other boy's eyes were filling with something. Was it regret? Sympathy? He had never seen Ryuuzaki demonstrate much by way of emotion, least of all compassion towards the one he suspected of being Kira. Instead though, after a moment's hesitation, L brought his hand instead up to his mouth and bit down on the thumb in his usual pensive manner.

"I'm sorry, Raito-kun. Truly sorry."

And from there the games could begin.


	2. Chapter 2

Wild-filly: Cheers to everyone who reviewed (grins) My multiple thanks and well-wishing to Sailor Red, Morlana and kie-san

Disclaimer: Don't own Death Note, wish I did. Last chapter's song was correctly guessed by kie-san to be The Killers' "Mr Brightside" – a cookie for your effort!

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Mind Games

Chapter 2: A Dentist's Dream

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_You love the way I look at you_

_While taking pleasure in the awful things you put me through_

_You take away if I give in_

_My life_

_My pride is broken_

_You love the things I say I'll do_

_The way I'll hurt myself again just to get back at you_

_You take away when I give in _

_My life_

_My pride is broken_

Well, it was safe to assert that Yagami Raito was officially having a bad day. As if waking up nose-to-nose and hopelessly tangled in the chains attached to the wrist of one Ryuuzaki, he was now forced to endure spending the rest of the day joined to this same infuriating person. Not that Raito had a lot of choices in this matter. It was all L's fault, once again. Ordinarily, if something embarrassing had happened to the young Raito, his first reaction would have been to either avoid the witnesses for the rest of his life, make it look like it wasn't his fault, or claim not to remember the occurrence.

Sadly, in this case, none of those options was open to him.

Now, Ryuuzaki had been a perfect gentleman about the whole ordeal. He had sat patiently outside the bathroom door while Raito tended to his new bruises without so much as a complaint, and had even offered him some healing balm. He hadn't said a word about the controversial situation to any of the team, and by the looks of his vacant expression, wasn't going to any time soon.

The spindly detective had plugged himself back into his computer and was tacking away at the keys like a university student needing to hand in their thesis the next day having ignored it for the past year. The constant drilling on the keys was a nuisance to Raito's sensitive hearing. He still hadn't managed to get enough sleep to stop himself from feeling irritable, and so far, Ryuuzaki was not helping matters. He could even annoy Raito _indirectly_. That in itself was an admirable skill, or at least one that usually didn't survive for very long, if Raito had anything to say about it. Or more appropriately, Raito's _fist_ had anything to say about it.

"Have you found anything, Yagami-kun?" To his surprise, L voluntarily broke the silence. Maybe he'd noticed Raito glaring at the back of his skull as if willing his eyes to become lasers and burn holes into the detective's brain, therefore preventing all but the eventual issue of being handcuffed to a corpse. He hurriedly blinked and adopted a startled expression. It seemed slightly more suitable for the present company.

"Not yet, Ryuuzaki," he answered monotonously, glancing back down at his desk. Different colours of important papers were strewn everywhere. Raito didn't like coloured paper. It dumbed down perfectly serviceable reports into something that all but the colour-blind couldn't understand. It was annoying, and he couldn't handle many more annoying things at the moment. "There reports are all too vague on the details of what happened before the murders. I'd like to actually see if there's a common trait. Perhaps Kira has to do something specific to each of the victims in order to kill them."

Ryuuzaki turned slightly in his chair, head now over his shoulder to stare at the other youth. _Ye gods, he's eating a lollipop_. Raito quickly quashed that miscellaneous thought and concentrated on fixing L with a pensive stare. "We haven't actually seen any of the murders until we only have a body to work with. Maybe there's some sort of trigger that we can't see on the body when it has ceased to function."

L blinked. "What made you come up with that theory?"

"Because all the other ones we have at the moment at useless," Raito added a detersive laugh to that statement before it could spark an argument. "We haven't gotten any closer yet, so maybe we need to look in a different place. Branch out a little."

Matsuda sat up straighter in his chair. "Hey, Raito-kun's got a good point there! We should arrange to see just what happens before the murders!"

Raito closed his eyes. Damn. If Matsuda agreed with a plan, then it was obviously a bad one. "And how do we arrange to do that Matsuda, if we don't know who the next target will be?"

"Oh…" the young man trailed off, hopeful expression crushed as he sat back heavily in his swivel chair. "I suppose you're right, Raito-kun… but it is a good idea if we can use it."

"Hm," remarked L in a notably obtuse fashion. He was staring intently at Raito, eyes locked with concentration. There was something predatorial in that gaze. Raito had a feeling that even though all he'd done was make a suggestion that would have been forced out of him either way, he had just done something incriminating.

"What makes you think that Kira needs to do something to the victim before killing them?" queried L mildly. "After all, he has managed to kill people whom he has never seen up until the moment of their death." The detective was nonchalantly examining his fingernails as Raito cursed mentally. What a stupid idea to have thrown into the open… he'd needed _something_ to say, but that particular something had only made him look foolish.

"Yeah, you're right," he yawned. "Sorry. Still sleepy." Hoping to close the conversation, he bent over his stack of offensively bright and chirpily covered papers and feigned studiousness. It was so annoying to pretend to be researching something that he could accidentally blurt the answer to in his sleep. Even more annoying to be stuck with Ryuuzaki, who was not only persisting in suspecting him of being a homicidal maniac, but had to make him look bad in front of the other idiots. Hateful business. The sooner the chain was off, the better.

Hours ticked by and no one moved, until finally the clocked rolled over to six o'clock. Downtime. It was a mutual understanding that everyone would go their separate ways at six, whether it was only for a temporary dinner break and return to work for a couple of hours afterwards, or to head home entirely. Raito watched out the corner of his eye as one by one the other members of the Kira team filed out of the door, chatting amiably.

"See you tomorrow, Raito, Ryuuzaki."

Raito lifted one hand by way of a parting gesture, still poring over his paper and penning the occasional note into the margins. Everyone was gone now, save for Ryuuzaki. Even Watari was nowhere to be seen. Not that Raito was ever particularly fond of the old fossil.

A couple of minutes. "You want to get some dinner?" questioned Raito by way of conversation. He reclined in his chair, spine cracking audibly in the process. "I've found nothing groundbreaking to do for now."

Ryuuzaki turned from his own screen, face starkly pale after what Raito assumed must be years of sitting in front of the monitor, or perhaps from a vampiric genetic disorder. "Watari's busy, Yagami-kun. You'll have to wait until he gets back to order something to eat."

Well that was aggravating to say the least. Raito moved one arm over his stomach to suppress a grumble that was threatening to erupt. He hadn't eaten a solid meal since breakfast, and had only drank liquid caffeine throughout lunch. If he didn't get something to eat soon, the noise from his stomach was going to become intolerably embarrassing. "Don't you have anything to keep us going in the mini-bar fridge?"

L stared at him as though he had suddenly come across a new species of animal, but shrugged nonetheless. "Take a look."

Typical. The bar fridge was conveniently located at Ryuuzaki's feet, and yet he couldn't be bothered to check it for Raito. As the pale youth turned back to his screen, Raito huffed and sat up, stalking out of his chair and over to Ryuuzaki. The other teen seemed to be completely enthralled with whatever monotonous document he was reading. Raito snorted softly, just loud enough for L to hear it and to consider feeling foolish. At which point, Raito himself was met with a slight crisis.

To reach the fridge, he had to kneel down. Down to the level where Ryuuzaki's feet would be if he actually sat like a normal human being. Raito didn't like that idea much at all. He hesitated. If he turned around and went back to his chair, L would ask him what was wrong, which would only be even more awkward. A denial of his hunger would only backfire. But what if another horrible situation befell him as soon as he knelt down? What if Ryuuzaki finally overbalanced from his ridiculous position and fell on him, only to have the rest of the team and a couple of stray television crews come into the room?

Maybe he was just being paranoid. Or maybe he was just being an intellectual. It was hard to tell sometimes.

He had taken too long. L rolled one lazy, staring eye up at him, thumb pinched resolutely in his mouth. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Sore knees," he lied smoothly. Damn. Here goes nothing. He gingerly crouched onto the ground, focusing intently on the little fridge. I must not look at Ryuuzaki. I must not catch his eye. I must not see anything from this angle. I must pretend that I am completely at ease with being at seat-of-chair level, in a completely non-dodgy, non-questionable sense of the word. Damn.

Prying open the bar fridge, Raito's mouth fell open in dismay. What was this rubbish?

Ryuuzaki leant forwards in his chair, head lowering to be level with Raito's as he joined in the spectator sport that seemed to be unfolding before his fridge. "Is there a problem?" Raito jumped, turning his head slightly and nearly shooting backwards in revulsion when he noticed how close Ryuuzaki's face was to his own. _Not again, damnit!_ Despite Raito's less than appreciative reaction, L seemed not to notice. He was too busy staring into the depths of the fridge, with something akin to affection in his eyes.

"You want to have some of that?" Raito stared in disbelief as L pointed calmly towards a large slice of strawberry sponge cake. It had to be the most intolerably sugary thing that he had ever beheld. Even from a _distance_ you could smell the sugar on it. It glittered in little crystals on the thick layers of icing; three colours, no less; on the glossy, glazed strawberry itself. The sponge was a custardy yellow, and looked as heavy to eat as a house brick.

"Are you kidding? My dentist would have a heart attack," laughed Raito weakly.

"Excellent," replied Ryuuzaki, reaching out and seizing the chilled plate on which the sugar-encrusted questionably edible product was perched. "I was hoping you'd say no."

"Then why did you offer?" queried Raito mildly, still examining the contents of the fridge. A can of American frosting, several chocolate bars, a jug of custard. A whole range of sugary products that he couldn't even name. "Don't you have any fruit, or savoury stuff in here?"

"Strawberry's a fruit," pointed out L with a mouthful of icing sugar. "And I only offered it to you because I knew you'd say no. It was therefore a polite gesture that wouldn't cost me anything."

Raito snickered. "That's unusually manipulative of you. And no, I disagree. After what that strawberry's been subjected to, it is most certainly no longer a fruit. What's that?" He pointed at another package.

"Crème caramel."

Ick. "Do you only eat sweet things, out of curiosity?" Now that Raito thought about it, he had never seen the remarkably skinny detective eat anything that contained less than 39 sugar. Just how on earth did one manage to retain such a punitive weight with such a horrible diet in Raito's opinion?

L didn't answer. He was too busy licking a great chunk of icing off his fingers, eyelids lowered with something approaching glee. Raito studied this peculiar expression intently. How very odd. Maybe he was going about this the wrong way. Either he should poison a slice of cake, and get rid of Ryuuzaki entirely, or cover his handcuff with icing, since there was a very high chance that L would eat it despite himself, and also free Raito at the same time.

Wait… he didn't just think that did he? How revolting…

And speaking of revolting, he was still at foot level with Ryuuzaki. Staggering to his own feet, Raito glared down at L from his much more reassuring height. "When will Watari be back, Ryuuzaki? You've got food now, but I'm still starving." He tried to present it with a humourous slant. It was so taxing on his brain to be humourous when it was clamouring for food.

"Watari won't be finished running errands for at least another two hours and forty-five minutes," informed L. He glanced up at the silently fuming Raito. "If you're that hungry, Yagami-kun, there is plenty of food here. You oughtn't sulk just because it's not your favourite dish."

"It's not that," hissed Raito. "It's that I happen to value my teeth enough to not to want to coat them with that sugary garbage."

"Then brush your teeth before you go to bed for once."

Raito could have sworn that a vein above his eye just twitched.

"Come on Yagami-kun," coaxed Ryuuzaki. He bit off a chunk of the rich sponge cake, eyes closing appreciatively. "It's really not that bad, I assure you. There's some fruit flan at the back if you'd rather try something less…artificial." There was a hint of a chuckle in that comment. Raito felt like grabbing the offered fruit flan and upending it over Ryuuzaki's head. That'd shut him up, even if it was only to eat the flan before it was wasted.

"Fine," he sighed in a spirited imitation of an amiable defeat. "But only if we definitely get something more substantial to eat later." Knowing L, he'd take the fact that they'd both consumed cake (shudder) to mean that they'd eaten enough for the night. It wasn't that Raito didn't like cake. He enjoyed it on occasion, it could be said. But what he did not like, was living off the same staple diet as his unwitting adversary. For all he knew, not consuming one's own body weight in sugar every three days was all that was preventing him from sitting like a hunchback and looking like the lovechild of an owl and a spider.

He poked around the back of the fridge. At least there was nothing moldering away back there; nothing survived here long enough. Ryuuzaki saw to that. There was the fruit flan in question. It glistened with a thick coating of glucose syrup. How disgusting. But it was primarily fruit, it had to be said. A mixture of kiwi fruit, strawberries, blueberries and peaches lurked in a colourful array of sugar-infused nutrients. Raito's stomach snarled threateningly, and he could have sworn that he'd just heard L suppress a snort at the sound. This was a do-or-die situation for his dignity. Gingerly prying the cling-film wrapped plate free from its confines, Raito stared down his nose at the inoffensive dessert.

Ryuuzaki was watching him over the strawberry horizon of his disastrous reply to juvenile diabetes. Watching him with an expression seemingly too aware, too calculating for someone so sleep deprived it looked as though they'd used a felt-tip pen to colour in the bags under their eyes. Watching for what? A reaction of some kind?

There was no fork, so Raito grimaced as he plucked a glossy kiwi fruit from its syrupy prison between pastry flan and sugar coating. He attempted to surreptitiously scrape off the worst of the sweetner, but desisted as L cleared his throat. He looked over at Ryuuzaki, who was still staring at him. "What?"

"Don't play with your food," he chided, as if to a three year-old. He plucked the strawberry from his own thick slice of cake and popped it easily into his mouth, as if to demonstrate. He chewed for a moment, swallowed and stared pointedly at Raito. "See? Non toxic."

How humiliating. Raito gritted his teeth and stared at the kiwi slice with more than a little apprehension. Just what test was he taking in agreeing to eat this foul _thing_? Did the percentage of his likeliness of being Kira increase or decrease based on how he ate a piece of fruit, or reacted to the artificial sweetness of it all? This was getting too bizarre even for Raito's skewed tastes.

Tentatively, he lifted the soggy, pathetic little slice of fruit to his lips, parted his teeth and gulped it down. The sugary layer that he hadn't managed to quite scrape off hit his taste buds like a flamethrower. It was repulsive. Did he dare to shudder, or stick his tongue out with disgust, if indeed he could lower himself to do something so base? What would it mean to L if he did? Would he guess that he was Kira simply because he couldn't appreciate the sweet things in life? Because he would do even things that he didn't like if he were dared to? What did it all mean? Raito was used to having all the answers, but he had never come across an adversary of this kind before.

Looking back at Ryuuzaki, Raito searched those enigmatic dark eyes for an answer that he desperately wanted to find. What had L deduced from that foolish little escapade?

"Hm. So the fruit flan _was_ off. I was wondering for a while, but by the look on your face it's just as well I didn't try it, ne?"

Raito couldn't respond. He was too busy spitting out what remained of the flan in his mouth into the nearest wastepaper bin, regardless of what a sight he made.

That was the last time he was going to trust L not to manipulate him like that.

Ryuuzaki chuckled lightly, voice unusually carefree. "You are too easy, Raito-kun. A joke!"

Raito coughed weakly, dropping the wastepaper bin and glaring over his shoulder at the spidery detective, staring owlishly back at him. "What do you mean 'joke'? That it wasn't off, or that the joke's on me?" He highly suspected both.

Ryuuzaki tilted his head to one side, as if perplexed. "I played a joke on you, Yagami-kun," he replied calmly. "There was nothing wrong with that cake. I just wondered how you would react is all. Your natural aversion to sweet products combined with your distrust of me has just been exposed." There was a note of sadness in his otherwise chipper voice. "Did you really think that I would try to give you food poisoning?"

"You think I'm Kira, don't you? It would make sense if you tried to haze me a little." Raito managed to slow his breathing down, suppressing more or less all of the anger that had flooded his system at Ryuuzaki's little 'joke'. "After all, if I'm a heartless criminal, then surely a little poisoning wouldn't go astray," he said bitterly. And to his surprise, the bitterness was authentic. He knew that Ryuuzaki lived every day in search of finding Kira and presenting him to the justice that any mass murderer would receive. Life imprisonment. The death penalty. It was hard to believe that the same person who currently lived chained to your side, who would offer you some of his prized strawberry cake, would just as easily throw you to the wolves.

Not that he would have expected anything else.

At that, L shook his head in mirth. "You tell _me _not to relate everything to the Kira case, Yagami-kun. Now you yourself are doing it. The fact that you are so guarded makes me think that the chances of you being Kira are even higher."

Damn it. Raito gritted his teeth. This wasn't going very well at all. He needed to start being a bit more friendly, to win L's trust, otherwise he was never going to get off the hook.

A smile faintly sketching itself across his features, Raito lifted his free arm to his shoulder, scratching his neck in a sign of embarrassment. "Look, I'm sorry I reacted so badly, Ryuuzaki-kun. I'm just so hungry that it was like a personal assault when you told me that you'd let me eat something out of date. I shouldn't have snapped like that." Tentatively, ever so slowly, he reached out with the same hand a placed it on Ryuuzaki's shoulder. Something inside him recoiled at the contact, and at the same time something inside him lightened at the look of surprise that crossed L's pallid face.

Maybe there was hope for this little game after all.


	3. Chapter 3

Wild-filly: Here we are with another chapter… jeez, I'm really on a role with this one sheepish expression

Disclaimer: Don't own – so don't sue. Hell, I'm a law student; I can't possibly defend myself…

…………

Mind Games: Chapter 3

A New Circle of Hell

…………..

_I am the son,_

_And the heir,_

_Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar._

_You shut your mouth,_

_How dare you say,_

_I go about things the wrong way._

Yagami Raito was still annoyed about the trick that L had played on him by the time the next morning had rolled around. And to make matters even worse, L had already been awake when Raito had roused from slumber. There were few things quite as creepy as waking up to the sight of Ryuuzaki's unblinking features fixed upon your own, without blinking, as he sat crouched on the edge of the bed carefully out of reach of any fist that might come sailing out in rebuttal. Not that Raito would ever stoop so low…again. Maybe.

It wasn't that he held grudges, oh no; he simply took a great dislike to anyone who bested him. Which was more or less the same thing, however, as it took longer to say, it was therefore something else entirely different. Somehow that made sense. Raito's brain was still a little strained courtesy of its lack of sleep, privacy and food that did not contain less than 30 percent sugar.

Maybe this really was a type of torture. It was certainly working in grinding down his resolve.

It was all Ryuuzaki's fault.

At the moment, Raito was sitting, once again, in front of his computer. The friendly neighbourhood insomniac that was L was typing away haphazardly next to him. It fascinated Raito that L was capable of typing at such a prodigious rate with his fingers so impossibly steepled. It almost looked as if the keys were coated with some horrible substance that Ryuuzaki was trying not to make contact with. Only the barest tip of each brittle, pale finger tacked the smooth grooves of the keys. Raito found himself staring at L's fingers, mesmerized by their rapid-fire movements, flitting across the keyboard as though possessed. Although admittedly possessed by a scruffy genius with Asberger's syndrome.

Oops. He was staring. Blinking, Raito shook himself mentally and returned his gaze to something less controversial. Namely his computer, where the internet site he was browsing had just erupted into an explosion of pornographic pop-up windows. _Gods damn it._ He couldn't suppress the growl of frustration at the bright, lurid and most definitely sordid sight that was now splashed all over his screen.

"What have you found, Yagami-kun?"

Ryuuzaki suddenly craned his head over to examine Raito's screen, attention caught by the sudden flashing of lights… in dodgy places. There were photographs with spinning stars in certain places to serve as censorship, but the damage was well and truly done. After all, there is only so much that one small spinning star can cover.

Oh good lord. Raito coloured and shut off the windows hurriedly, shaking his head in disgust. "Another trick site. Too many of these people who claim to be Kira link up their sites to… similarly unwholesome material." How many of these nutjobs' sites did he have to visit before L finally let him off the hook? Today L had suggested that they trawl the assorted websites of people claiming to be Kira to see if there were any sane cases within the morons. Not that this was proving fruitful.

Ryuuzaki continued to stare at the screen, dark eyes round with perplexion. "Do you have a theory as to why they all believe that Kira is a pervert, Yagami-kun?"

Raito very slowly, and very carefully, clenched both fists in his lap and thought happy thoughts. Namely pounding both of those fists into L's unwitting skull.

"I can't imagine why," he replied, voice carefully level. "I can only think that most of the makers of these sites are only teenagers, so they link these sites to other ones that interest them. The teenaged hormone drive would account for these… unconventional images." Oh good grief…what on earth were those people _doing_ in that one? Raito could hardly bear looking at the icon for long enough to find the little 'x' button to close it with.

"Hm," said L by way of response. His eyes were still fixed, unblinking on the screen, even as Raito had averted his own eyes with a blush. He was silent for a moment or two, then pointed at the flashing computer. "Is that even physically possible?"

Raito coughed in shock, eyes flying back to the screen. What the hell had Ryuuzaki just asked him?!

His gaze returned to the website. Oh. Another pop-up add. For anti-aging cream.

"Wouldn't know," he replied through gritted teeth. "I've never used the stuff." Why had his heart rate just gone screaming through the roof just then? Was it in horror at the fact that Ryuuzaki might have actually just demonstrated the possibility of having a sexuality? Raito's brain halted, refusing to even consider the words 'Ryuuzaki' and 'sexuality' in the same sentence. He needed a break. He really, really did.

"Hm," said L again. His face was perfectly devoid of emotion. Raito was suspicious, even as his heart slowly returned to its normal pace. Surely L had meant to get some kind of reaction out of him. Was he being manipulated by the other youth? He wished that he could think straight. Lack of sleep was really getting to him.

But then again, he kept telling himself to play the friend role. Maybe it would work. If he could just play along to Ryuuzaki's game, then perhaps suspicion would be taken off him. After all, L didn't have any friends other than Raito; he'd admitted it. Today could actually work out according to plan. If Raito knew Misa, then she should be arriving in three, two, one-

"Raito-kun!"

Right on time, the miniature Gothic princess came hurtling into the room and flung herself around Raito's shoulders. He detached her in a dispassionately accustomed way and placed her at an arm's length from himself. "Good morning, Misa. You were let in?"

"Hai! Misa was let in by the nice people in the other room. They knew that Misa was coming specially to see Raito-kun."

But of course they would. Every couple of days, just like clockwork, Misa would break her self-imposed distancing from Raito just to satiate her desire to see him again. Not that Raito told her off for it. It was a source of distraction from Ryuuzaki's aggravating company. Not to mention it was nice to see someone who didn't believe that he was a murderer… or at least didn't believe it in a _bad_ way. Not that he'd ever mention this to Misa. Heavens, the last thing that girl needed was encouragement in her obsession.

Today was going to be the first move on Raito's behalf, he decided. It was time that Ryuuzaki either started to drop his guard and stop suspecting that Raito was Kira, or that he grew so sick of the other boy's company that he took off the handcuffs anyway.

"So… what does Raito-kun want to do today?" Misa's eyes were the same size and brightness as Catherine wheel fireworks, shining with delight at being in such close proximity to her stoic idol. "Does Raito-kun want to come to Misa's room for a while, and help her to try on some new-"

"Ahem."

Misa stopped, staring over at the source of the very forced cough. She frowned, pouting in annoyance. "What is Ryuuzaki doing still chained to you, Raito-kun? Misa wants to be with Raito-kun only!" There was a positive whine to her voice, although Raito would have to admit that Misa wasn't the only one upset with the current situation.

"I understand, Amane-san," conceded Ryuuzaki. "However at the moment I am unable to allow such a thing to happen."

Misa's teeth pinched her lower lip, thickly painted with crimson lipstick. She was in serious danger of ingesting copious amounts of the stuff, thought Raito idly. Not that this was his problem. "Why can't Ryuuzaki let Misa have just a little time alone with Raito-kun? Misa is lonely and sad without Raito-kun…" She trailed off miserably, affixing Ryuuzaki with her most pathetic and appealing stare.

L, for once, looked perturbed. Raito was surprised to feel amusement at this new expression across his rival's face. It seemed that for once the great detective was stumped as to how to avoid this problem that was Misa.

"You can see Yagami-kun on a regular basis, Amane-san," replied L resolutely, "but time alone with him is out of the question. I cannot let Yagami out of my sight." He didn't explain further. Misa cocked an eyebrow at him with an air of irritation. Then she turned pleadingly to Raito, "say something Raito-kun!"

In what language would she like him to say 'something'? Never mind. "What do you want me to say, Misa?" he responded, with a touch of frustration in his voice. "This is Ryuuzaki's decision, not mine."

Time to put evil scheme number one (give or take) into action. Raito blinked suddenly, as if struck with unexpected inspiration. L noticed it instantly, attention flickering to Raito's face. "What is it, Yagami-kun?" the tone in Ryuuzaki's voice was demure as ever.

Oh how he was going to regret those words.

"I believe that I may have found a solution to our problem, Ryuuzaki," Raito flashed L a confident grin. _Roil in your downfall, my foolish adversary._ "Why don't you come out on an excursion with Misa and I for a while? That way Misa will be happy enough to promise to leave us in peace." Raito sent a very level stare in Misa's direction, as if daring her to disagree. But of course, there was never any danger of that.

"Yippee! I'm going out with Raito-kun! Let's go, Raito-kun!" Without even bothering to hear L's flat-out rejection of the idea, Misa lunged towards Raito, locking him in a delighted hug. The chain snapped at the new force, pulling L off balance and stumbling from his chair. Raito mentally sighed and fought the urge to pry Misa from himself like toffee from a saucepan. He turned and looked at L, mock innocence plastered all over his face. "Well Ryuuzaki? It won't be that bad. Just a couple of hours in the fresh air and she'll leave us in peace. Plus it'd be a welcome break for our minds from the Kira case. Who knows; it might even bring fresh light on the case, if we take a brief step back and consider what we have learned from a distance."

Hah. The pseudo-psychological basis had never failed yet. Raito could see an inner struggle guardedly fight itself out behind L's eyes.

And then Matsuda chipped in. "Don't worry, Ryuuzaki. Nothing bad'll happen if you go out for a little while. We can spare you and Raito at least for a couple of hours. Go and relax. You two work so hard as it is."

And there it was. The final nail on the coffin of L's rebuttal. Ah the sweet taste of victory… if this little trip didn't result in L taking the handcuffs off, then nothing would.

……….

All in all, this plan was not proceeding as, oddly enough, according to plan. Raito was presently cursing the foul run of luck that he was experiencing. There were several sections to this luck, and all of them ranked in their respective levels of foulness.

One; he was still attached to Ryuuzaki. Two; he was also attached to Misa. Three; he was in a shopping centre. Four; he was in a _girl's_ department of the shopping centre.

Misa was currently modeling a variety of cute denim skirts and bright, though very scant blouses, flitting in and out of the changing-rooms like a hyperactive fairy during Halloween. Since neither Raito nor L had voiced any preference for destination on their little expedition, Misa had taken the initiative and decided that before things went any further, she needed some new outfits. Raito couldn't have cared less about what she went around dressed like. Apparently neither could L.

Speaking of which, Raito shot a glance over to the lanky detective. Ryuuzaki was loafing around on the end of the chain, looking more than a little bored. Funny; he didn't seem even slightly embarrassed to be standing in a sea of fluff and glitter, admittedly interspersed by the odd bit of Gothic paraphernalia. There were clusters of teenaged girls cruising the store at the same time, occasionally stopping and staring at the two boys. Raito realized with a sinking feeling just how weird they must look. One neatly dressed business-like youth handcuffed next to the scruffy insomniac who was currently examining a mini-skirt, plucking at the fluffy pink trim with a fascinated expression writ across his face. What the -!

"Ryuuzaki, what are you doing?" hissed Raito. He strode over to the display where L was lurking and snatched the garment out of his hands. "This is _not_ the time or place to be investigating the quality of the fabric!" He could hear the whispers from here, and could only assume the worst. Two men handcuffed together in a ladies' clothing department could only mean one thing, and Raito most certainly did not like that idea.

"What's wrong Raito-kun?" queried Ryuuzaki blandly, blinking slowly at Raito. "I was merely examining a skirt that I believe Amane-san will try next, based on the nature of the other garments that she has been experimenting with. I don't believe that she will purchase it. I was simply getting ready to hand it to her for the inevitable trial and decision that she still prefers the Goth look." He affixed Raito with a patronizing stare. "Why, Raito-kun, what did you think I was doing?"

Raito gritted his teeth. "I don't know, Ryuuzaki." Ouch. He couldn't wait to leave the shop.

As soon as Misa reappeared from the changing-rooms, with a pile of garments rejected and one small black and silver singlet chosen, Raito hurried her through the cash register and back into the relatively more neutral and less embarrassing territory of the shopping mall itself. Ryuuzaki trailed along behind them, hands in pockets and a vaguely amused expression on his face. Raito rolled his eyes. It was like he and Misa were a married couple taking their scruffy dog for a walk.

"Do you want to go and see a movie, Raito-kun?" chirped Misa suddenly. She spun around to look Raito in the eye, releasing his arm from where she was walking along, leaning on him and hugging his arm to her ample chest. "There's a thriller on! You'd love it!" She then proceeded to rattle off a list of celebrities making their highly predictable appearances, as if this could in some way possibly entice Raito into feeling anything more than contempt for the film-making industry.

Oh well. It'd make her shut up for a while at least.

"If you say so Misa," Raito nodded nonchalantly. He turned to L, forcing the wicked grin that kept trying to surface to stay put. "Do you want to see a film too, Ryuuzaki?"

L stared blankly back at him. "How many varieties of the word 'no' would you like, Yagami-kun?"

How amusing. L had just echoed one of Raito's own thoughts.

Hang on. That wasn't amusing. That was disturbing.

Raito shook his head to clear himself from that nasty thought that had just arisen. "Come on Ryuuzaki-kun. It'll keep Misa happy at least."

"I should think that we have been 'keeping Misa happy' for long enough already," replied L icily. "It would appear that you do not seem interested in returning to _the task that we have at hand_, Yagami-kun. This is more than a little suspicious on your behalf." The glare that he was sending at Raito was positively acidic. Even though he was more than a little annoyed to here the indirect reference to his chances of being Kira rise, he knew that now was no time to back down. If Ryuuzaki wanted to get out of the movie, or go back to the office, then he would have to take the handcuffs off. There was no way that Raito was going to give up now.

Time for plan: "living hell" to be enacted.

"Surely we can wait a little longer, Ryuuzaki-kun", frowned Raito. "Poor Misa has been stuck indoors for so long as it is. Let's all go to whatever film she wants, and that'll make up for it at least a little." He shot L a reproachful look, and smiled with inner delight as he saw a temporary shade of guilt cross the detective's face. After all, L _had_ kept Misa in captivity for quite a while. Even if he constantly justified his actions with ease, somewhere inside the detective would still feel even a little remorseful for his actions. That much was proven when L stared back at Raito sullenly and refused to answer.

Raito nodded as if Ryuuzaki had just agreed with him. He then turned to look down at Misa, smiling at her genially. "What film do you really want to see Misa? We'll sit through anything you want. Anything at all."

And that 'anything at all' turned out to be just the sappily romantic comedy branch of horror that Raito had been hoping for.

It really was remarkable, he had to admit it. Despite staring at the massive screen with a look of utter distaste etched on his pallid features, L still hadn't caved into temptation and severed the handcuffs in order to bolt for the nearest exit. And it couldn't be that he was waiting for the torture to end, oh no. Misa had chosen well. This film was actually a trilogy scheduled to run for most of the night and emotionally scar every self-respecting member of the audience for years to come. Raito himself had broken out in a cold sweat just when the theme music had started.

Not a good start to an already foreseeably hellish evening.

Misa was snuggled up next to him, latched onto his arm contentedly and eyes glazed with pleasure as she stared, fixated on the monotonously predictable manifestation of every bad romance novel ever printed. The steady rise and fall of her breathing however, made Raito suspicious that the bubbly Gothic princess had in fact fallen asleep with her eyes open. An experimental shuffle of his arm confirmed it. Oh well. That was one of the sources of annoyance in his life temporarily suspended. Now there was only the matter of L.

Trying to look as if he were engrossed in the movie (though actually staring instead at a small light on the ceiling and wishing it would explode and remove him from this misery) Raito shot a sidelong glance at his eternally bored rival. Ryuuzaki however, was staring right back at him. Damn. Caught.

"Are you not enjoying the film, Yagami-kun?" whispered Ryuuzaki, mindful of the gaggle of preteens sitting behind him enraptured in the sickeningly sweet storyline.

Raito shook his head ever so slightly. "Misa's enjoying it though," he lied smoothly. "Otherwise I'd suggest that we leave."

"Actually I like it." Raito could have sworn that his eyes just dilated to four times their normal size. "You what?" He could barely keep his voice down to a dull roar.

"I like it," mused L, crouched like a spider on his squishy chair. He scrunched his long toes against the plush fabric. "It's a fantastical impression of what some people believe that reality truly is. The fact that they are able to express such a fantasy in real life is certainly a wonderful achievement."

Raito stared. "What about the fact that they are resurrecting every bad stereotype in existence and proceeding to contrive to somehow make them worse?"

L shrugged. "Self-expression, Yagami-kun. I am neutral in virtually everything that is not of great importance. If that is how they choose to express themselves, then that is their business." Raito shook his head, chuckling despite himself. "I can't believe you sometimes Ryuuzaki. You don't react like a normal person to these things."

And perhaps that had been the problem. Raito _had _been assuming that Ryuuzaki would react like any teenaged male dragged into a female clothing shop and sickeningly sappy movie. Instead of fleeing like a scalded cat, Ryuuzaki had simply acted like a tourist in a foreign land. That foreign land being the real world.

"Why ever would I do that?" There was a new look on L's face that Raito had never seen before. It was a look of relaxed amusement, as if Raito had said something intensely simple and obvious to all concerned. "I react like myself to these situations. And I most certainly am not normal."

"I agree," recovered Raito. "Most people wear shoes."

L glanced down at his feet as if in surprise. "I'm not? Oh dear. I was meaning to put some on today to make a good impression. Ah well." He returned his stare to the movie. "Why did you think that I would cave in and take off the handcuffs if I were subjected to this?"

Hm. Not so easy to manipulate after all.

"What was that, Ryuuzaki?" asked Raito innocently. "The thought never even crossed my mind. I just wanted Misa to have a bit of fun for once. That and I quite enjoy the fresh air every so often." He let a note of wistfulness pervade his voice. Ryuuzaki caught it, glance flickering back to Raito.

"I cannot take off the handcuffs, Yagami-kun. Not until I am certain that you are not Kira. How many times do I have to tell you this?"

"I know, Ryuuzaki. I know. It's just that… I miss being able to go home and see my family. I can't even go outdoors. It's like I'm still a prisoner." He fixed Ryuuzaki with a stare that contained as much false misery as he could muster. "What do I have to do to prove myself?"

"I don't know," murmured L, heavy-lidded eyes expressionless. "But it's still not enough to be sure that you aren't just trying to wind your way out of my sight."

"Then why not just put me back in the cell if I'm going to remain as good as a prisoner?" retorted Raito angrily. "Why taunt me with this false freedom? Do you get off on having me chained to you or something?"

L paled visibly. "There's no need for you to be put back in the cell, Raito-kun. That much I do know. As for your 'false freedom', you are working on the case with me; the best way to prove your innocence is by helping me to capture Kira."

"And what about the last point?" sneered Raito.

L just stared at him, something akin to disbelief across his face. Oh good lords, had Raito actually struck a nerve? The prospect was too horrible to even contemplate. He'd been chained to someone who actually _did_ like that kind of thing! He suddenly felt intensely unclean. The desire to go and throw himself into a river was near overpowering.

Finally L spoke. "What does 'get off on' mean?"

Raito blinked. Then e flushed a vivid scarlet that was thankfully unnoticeable in the dark cinema. "I'm not explaining it to you," he muttered, turning back to look without seeing at the film. "Go look it up on the internet. But warn me before you do. I don't want to glance at your screen at the wrong time."


	4. Chapter 4

Mother, looking at me,

**Mind Games will now have a twist of shounen-ai**. Or at least more a more outright one than earlier. The whole game for me here is to keep everyone in character, so it will be slow for the average fangirl. Give me a break (grins) - everything must be tasteful.

Disclaimer: Don't own, so don't sue. I _still_ can't hire myself as a defence.

Lyrics later in chapter this time! I bet you'll all know them this time around.

……………

Mind Games: Chapter 4

Many Happy Returns

…………….

So, the first plan of subjecting Ryuuzaki to real life for long enough to force him to remove the handcuffs had been a spectacular failure. Never mind. What we learn from our mistakes will ensure that we don't make them again. Or at least we can see precisely where our plans went wrong, before we were gifted with 'hindsight'. Yagami Raito was not the kind of person who would fly off the handle upon learning that he had made an error. He'd get annoyed about it, certainly, but would first and foremost devote his time to calculating where he went wrong and try to ameliorate the situation.

After he'd done some therapeutic shouting, of course.

And at the moment, he certainly did feel up to a bit of shouting. He was still chained to L and L was still apparently shackled by invisible manacles to his computer, so Raito was stuck pretending to research the Kira case in between playing rounds of online chess. The poor chess website never knew what hit it. There was something oddly satisfying about beating a machine and inanimate object in something that it was programmed entirely to do. Something to do with stripping its life's purpose from its soul, or lack thereof. Rather sadistic maybe, but he had to have _somewhere_ to vent his frustration for still being manacled to the scruffy, spindly excuse for a human being next to him.

"Are you still playing chess, Yagami-kun?"

Damn. Caught. L's lazy drawl held a note of remorse. "If you want a break, just say."

"Would I get any reaction?" asked Raito pointedly. "The last few times that I've asked for a break you've just made a non-descript noise and opened a new document. I've more or less given up on that tact. Besides, playing chess keeps my mind alert."

"I might," replied L, "but that does, of course, depend on the nature of your desire for a break. Boredom, Yagami-kun, is not so desperately important a reason to stop work as is, say, the need to relieve bodily functions."

Raito shuddered. That was a situation that neither of them discussed if they could help it.

"Well, I think I should have a break today," declared Raito. He threw back his arms and rolled several paces backwards on the swivel chair. The chain snapped taut between the two youths, snatching one of L's frail hands from the keyboard. The detective shot Raito a pointedly disgruntled look, but Raito ignored it though, and continued to stretch luxuriously. He yawned broadly. "We should have at least one break every four hours, Ryuuzaki. After all, we've been working since dawn. And…" _here it comes, _"…I want to call my mother."

L blinked, turning owlish eyes to him curiously. "That's a new one." The look on L's face was one of naivety, but Raito knew better than to believe that mask. He was looking for something that might give him away, Raito was certain. Well, he could keep searching; this time he had nothing to conceal. After all, it wasn't as if his mother knew any key details about the Kira case; except of course where to find all of Kira's baby pictures and paintings done in kindergarten.

Raito shrugged. "It's my birthday. She can't call me here, so I might as well call her. I daresay she'd like to know at some point that I'm still alive."

"You're such a thoughtful son," pondered Ryuuzaki, chin nestled between steepled fingers. Dark eyes were almost dreamily unfocussed as they stared unnervingly at Raito. "Who'd have thought that such an angelic child would have such horribly invasive dreams?"

Once again, something that was best not discussed.

Raito gritted his teeth. "I can't very well control what I dream about, can I? And I don't see what kicks you get out of watching me while I sleep either!" He resisted the urge to strike Ryuuzaki's expressionless, staring face. It was indeed, a very pressing urge by this point.

L glared back at him, "I don't make a point of listening to you, Yagami-kun, but I _do_ make a point of not being rolled onto in the middle of the night. Nor do I _appreciate_ suddenly being latched onto and have strange things muttered in my ear!"

Raito purpled. "You never mentioned that before!" All of the blood in his body came roaring into his head, deafening in his eardrums. If there had been a convenient crater in the ground, he might just have enticed it to swallow him whole.

"I thought we weren't supposed to talk about that sort of thing?"

"Now I just feel like an idiot! You could at least tell me so I can apologise!" _and make sure to thoroughly scour my skin afterwards_, he mentally added.

"Well, you were just muttering something about marshmallows and pine trees, so it wasn't as bad as you might think, Yagami-kun," conceded L, gaze flickering back to the screen. "So it didn't seem that relevant." Raito closed his eyes and massaged his temples gently. This investigation was going to kill him, it really was.

"So it's your birthday then, Yagami-kun?"

Raito blinked, momentarily distracted from his increasingly more murderous thoughts. "Yeah. Twenty-eighth of February, or at least my computer tells me it is." He added the last bit slightly darkly. How long had it been since he'd last wandered the streets a free man? The last time he'd even _seen_ the streets he'd been shackled with not one but _two_ annoyances. Somehow an appalling situation had contrived to get worse.

L pinched the shallow layer of skin of his thumb between lip and tooth. "You should have told me," he commented blandly, scrolling down the spidery text of yet another case file.

"What difference would it have made?" asked Raito bluntly again. "We'd wake up, we'd work, we'd eat, we'd work, and we'd sleep. Life continues on, regardless of these things. It's only a birthday."

"And yet it is still important enough to you to make you want to call you mother?"

"I feel obliged to. She'd want to wish me happy birthday, and hear how I am, whether or not she'd understand what I'd tell her. As long as she hears that I'm alive and can say that I'm fine, she'll be satisfied no matter how much she prattles."

L clucked his tongue reproachfully. "So cynical, Yagami-kun. Doesn't speaking to your mother mean anything more to you?"

Raito carefully assumed his 'awkward adolescent' mask. "Well, yeah, but… I don't know…" There. One quick butchering of the language and he had successfully made himself look like a rebellious teenager not wanting to admit how much they needed their parents. Hah. The thought made Raito want to laugh. He could more than handle himself. The only debt he owed his parents was a biological one that could be dropped whenever necessary. Now _that_ was true emotional control.

L made a noncommittal noise and returned his attentions to the computer. A couple of minutes of silence followed, broken only by the faint drilling of rain on the window. Raito glanced up. He hadn't even noticed the heavy greyness of the atmosphere. Then something occurred to him.

"What about _your _mother, Ryuuzaki? You never talk about your family."

L glanced up in surprise. "Why do you ask, Yagami-kun? It isn't like you to be interested in this sort of thing. After all, it's not as if your mother has let you out on a play-date and wants to know about my weird family history before she lets you do it again."

_Weirdo_. Raito shook his head dismissively. "No real reason. It just seems strange to talk about my own mother and not hear your side of the story as well."

"There is nothing else you want to gain from hearing about it? No possible connections between myself, my family and, say, my true identity?" The wide, stark eyes narrowed. Raito was almost amused to see L go on the defensive for once.

"Nothing like that at all, Ryuuzaki," yawned Raito. "I'm bored and feel like talking about something other than a nutcase murderer for a while. All of these case files are making my mind seize. I could do with a small break to normalcy, no matter how brief, to recharge my batteries."

The corners of L's mouth twitched slightly, curving into a small smile normally reserved only for the last slice of strawberry shortcake. "Very well. I don't know who my mother is. Or my father. Is that normal enough for you, Yagami-kun?"

Raito sat up straighter in his swivel chair. "No, that's not normal, but it's not that uncommon either. So don't you know anything about them?" Now he was just pushing the matter for curiosity's sake.

L stared at him mulishly. "Bits and pieces. Enough so that I'm not interested in locating them, and little enough that I'll always consider it even so. My work takes priority over all else. After all, justice can only prevail if there are people devoted to it. What point is there in pursuing a case of two people who decided that they had no further interest in me when I was born?" He cocked his head on one side, heavy black bangs obscuring his eyes. "No point whatsoever, Yagami-kun. That is the truth."

"I didn't know," muttered Raito quietly. He decided that now would be a good time to be tactfully silent. It was only socially appropriate. Plus, he needed a moment to consider this. There went the idea of learning L's identity through his family then. Never mind. This only provided more opportunities…

"So…" he began hesitantly, "…do you even know when your own birthday is?"

L blinked in bewilderment. "Of course I do. Why wouldn't I? They turned in my birth certificate when they surrendered me."

"Oh, of course," Raito feigned confusion. "I just don't understand the kind of mentality that could have abandoned you, that's all."

And there it was. The slightest of muscle spasms that made the pallid, lanky detective's eyes widen. It was barely perceptible, but Raito had been looking for it. L might have been as good as Raito at wearing masks, but he was _not_ as accustomed to dealing with other people. L blinked, and Raito noticed for the first time that the detective's eyelashes were actually very long. Mind you, he'd never voluntarily spent prolonged periods of time staring into the other youth's eyes, of course.

L sighed, shaking his head. "Funny, Raito-kun. Very funny."

"I was being sincere," replied Raito, noticing that L had done it again. He had slipped into using his first name. He'd noticed it happening occasionally, but only now saw precisely why it happened. _Whenever he touched a nerve_. So, the great detective was not completely without weaknesses.

L didn't seem to know how to reply to that, so he didn't. Returning his attention to the computer screen, he frowned at the screensaver and swiveled the mouse impatiently. _Good_. Raito was impressed. He'd actually managed to get to him, even a little. Impatience was not a common sight on this little safari of L's psyche.

"Ah, you've just reminded me, Yagami-kun," murmured L suddenly. "I have a present for you."

"You what?" For once, Raito was startled. "So you were lying when you asked me when my birthday was earlier?"

"Yes," nodded L nonchalantly. "I just wanted to see what you'd do." Typical. Make a thoughtful statement and then ruin it, you miserable little… wait, he wasn't getting bitter over Ryuuzaki's words was he? Time to back off from that thought.

The thin detective crouched lower on his chair, leaning down into a filing cabinet used to prop up his computer desk. Thick, heavy folders were deposited unceremoniously onto the floor, spilling their intensely boring contents over the sparsely carpeted surface. Raito had to stare. He couldn't help it. Why on earth had Ryuuzaki taken it upon himself to do this?

It hardly seemed logical that the lead detective in a mass-murder case had gone out of his way to buy the prime suspect a birthday present, complete with pretty gift wrapping. Raito wrinkled his nose as L lifted a brightly wrapped parcel from the depths of the mine of paper, pinching it gingerly between his fingers with a delicate air, as he did with everything. He couldn't blame the detective if he had been trying not to touch the paper; after all, it was shedding gold glitter at a prodigious rate and persisting in being an offensively vibrant shade of orange. But Raito know better than that; L always held things as if they were infectious, sticky or potentially going to bite.

"Here. Happy birthday," drawled L lazily. The gingerly held package was thrust into Raito's immediate airspace. His choice of backing away in disgust was successfully deleted courtesy of the shortened chain. Carefully, hesitantly, Raito reached out and took the glittery parcel from L's fingertips. The other hand was snatched away instantaneously, startling Raito with the sheer speed of it. He stared down at the gift, thoughts a ceaseless barrage against his brain.

_Why did he get me a present_? What could it be? Had he gone out of his way to get something special, in hopes of buttering Raito up and 'coming over to the light' in a true Star Wars cliché? Was it going to contain a recording device, in hopes of catching Raito in the act of something incriminating that L couldn't already observe despite being handcuffed to him 24/7? Was it laced with anthrax, arsenic or something equally terminal?

"Are you going to open it, or can you see through the paper already?" asked L amiably. "I wasn't aware that you were gifted with X-ray vision, Yagami-kun."

Raito answered that with a grunt and tore the wretched paper, trying to press the clamour of thoughts from his mind. Some of them were ambling away down a path where he wasn't entirely convinced that he wanted to holiday. A glossy hardback cover gleamed back at him from beneath the thick wrappings. Apparently L was as thorough with sticky tape as he was with case files: unnecessarily diligent and with frequent revisits to areas already covered.

Extracting the book from the paper, Raito's attention fell to the cover. _Heart of Darkness_ by Joseph Conrad. Interesting. He had read many English-language classics, but this was one that he hadn't had a chance to look at yet. A quick flick through the book's heavy parchment pages revealed that it contained both the English and Japanese translations. How thoughtful. Or had L believed him unable to read English, despite scoring the same perfect result as he in the university entrance exam.

"_Heart of Darkness_, Ryuuzaki?" queried Raito flippantly. "This wouldn't be an accusation as well as a gift, would it?"

"Let the transcripts show that it was _you_ who suggested that, Yagami-kun," replied L demurely, eyes boring into the glass screen before him. "I enjoyed the book myself. I therefore thought that you would, since we two are so alike."

_You what-?_

Raito felt as though someone had just flipped a switch and sent currents of electricity roaring through his body. It was as if he had been dashed in the face with a bucket of cold water. _How could he not have realized the same thing_? _It was so simple! So simple it was brilliantly complicated! _Raito was a genius, a child prodigy. There was no reason why this conclusion should not have been reached earlier. No reason why this thought hadn't even flitted by in passing while he was contemplating something far more sinister and pertinent to his Kira plan.

But now it made sense somewhere in his brain.

He blinked, staring at the sleepy-eyed detective as if seeing for the first time. Ryuuzaki appeared to have given up on the computer screen and had shifted his attentions outside, gazing out the window with a peculiar combination of dozy watchfulness. He was such a contradiction. A scruffy body and crooked physique concealing the sharpest mind that Raito had ever met other than his own. He felt repelled by the flagrant disregard for social norms demonstrated by Ryuuzaki's crumpled dress and aversion to socks. He felt challenged and frustrated by Ryuuzaki's seemingly effortless convictions and ability to get on Raito's nerves despite his every painstaking measure of self-control. No one had ever pushed his buttons in such a way. At least, no one had ever managed to do it more than once.

No one had ever done it and still been respected by him before.

"The rain is soothing, isn't it, Yagami-kun?" remarked L passively, eternally dark eyes sombre as he watched the shower of liquid silver fall, splattering ungraciously against the window. "Something so simple, yet so significant in the human mind. Nothing else in the world views such as thing as remarkable other than humanity. Funny, isn't it?"

The crisp pages of the pristine hardback grew clammy beneath his fingers. Raito realized with a start that he had broken into a cold sweat. _What was he thinking?_ For once, he himself was not sure. L couldn't _possibly_ know what those words meant in the context of Raito's pounding head. Or did he?

_Mother, looking at me, _

_Tell me, what do you see?_

_Yes, I've lost my mind._

This is ridiculous. Raito stared back at L in astonishment, aghast and yet strangely aroused. _He's just sitting there, watching the rain. Why does that make him any different?_ _He made a careless remark, as he usually does. What is so different about it this time? _He could feel something stirring inside himself. Something that was so primitive that it felt as if he had no choice in the matter; no more choice than he had in breathing. He stirred, hesitated. L didn't move. His eyes were like dark mirrors, hollowly reflecting the shroud of raindrops that splashed before him. It was as if he were seeing something beyond it all.

_This is not enough…_

Lips quivered, Raito froze. Eyes fixated on the calm expression of his rival. He had never before devoted so much consideration to it. Only ever before when lazily deciding which feature he found more annoying, other than L's personality and stupid handcuffs. Ryuuzaki's skin was bleached unnaturally pallid by too much time indoors and in front of the monitor, rings around his eyes even darker against the paleness of his complexion. His eyes were heavily lidded, making him seem world-weary; one who has seen too much and yet cannot turn away, no matter how it strains him.

It was…familiar.

Raito knew better than anyone what it was like to step too deeply into something and not be able to back out. The only real difference between them, the only difference he realized, was that they were looking at the same thing from different directions.

_This is not enough…_

Raito could feel his heart rate quicken, throat clenching. He felt as though he were about to start choking on air. _This is ridiculous! _What was he going to do? He was certain that L must be able to hear his elevated pulse, heart thundering against his chest. What could he do? Pretend that he was fine and that nothing as monumental and cataclysmic as a revelation about his true knowledge of his rival had just occurred?

He cleared his throat quietly. He had to do something to stop his brain from losing control. His body was reacting in a way that his mind was furiously trying to deny. L was still just staring blankly out the rain-splattered window, completely unaware of what drama was unfolding internally barely a metre away from him.

_And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed,_

_They say it's my fault, but I want it so much._

Carefully, mouth dry, Raito leant forwards. One hand slowly raised and placed itself on L's shoulder. The rumpled folds of Ryuuzaki's shirt were soft, and not nearly as unpleasant as Raito had thought the unkempt fabric would be. The skin beneath them smooth and surprisingly warm; he could feel it burning beneath the linen, fingers suddenly more sensitive than ever before. _What was happening to him? _Instantly L's eyes flashed to Raito, curious.

"What is wrong, Yagami-kun?" murmured L in surprise.

_I wish I knew. _Raito smiled slightly, wistfully. "Why do you assume that something is wrong every time I show any sign of humanity? I just want to say thank you. It's a wonderful book. I really appreciate it." Words threatened to follow after those. Hindbrain screamed at him to lean in and do something that he completely refused to acknowledge. _This is insane. I'm going crazy. There's no other reason why._ He wanted nothing more than to reach to his head and tug at his hair in a futile attempt to distract himself.

L's eyes didn't leave him though, dark pupils questing silently beneath their heavy shade of thick black hair. Eyes had widened slightly. There was confusion in those eyes. A trace of suspicion, but mostly that same, stupid, wide-eyed curiosity that L turned onto everything.

Damn his barbed naivety. It was all Ryuuzaki's fault.

"You look pale, Raito-kun," murmured L with concern. He tilted his head to one side, scratching his chin absentmindedly. "You're not feeling well?"

"Never better," he managed to rasp, throat dry. "I'm just a little confused is all. I didn't see you as the type to give suspect mass murderers birthday presents."

"You are surprised by me again, Yagami-kun," sighed L chastisingly. He shook his head with something that might have been mocking – Raito was too hazy to notice or even hazard a guess. "This is happening entirely too often. I wonder, just what is going on in your head to think that I am so easy to predict?"

"Too much is going on in my head; that's your answer," retorted Raito. Good; he'd recovered enough sense to feel offended. "I'm a little taken aback. There's no reason why I wouldn't be. After all, you keep asserting your claim that I'm Kira; you keep me on a _leash_ of all things for that reason. Why on earth would you do this for someone who you distrust so?"

L straightened his head, a faint smile creasing his deathly pale face. Raito's eyes were drawn unwholesomely to his lips, the palest shade of pink conceivable. "You forget, Raito-kun. I want to believe that you are not Kira. That doesn't mean that you aren't Kira, but it _does_ mean that I appreciate you to the extent of willing your innocence. That is something that I have never done before. Is that easier to understand?" He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I am not used to explaining myself. This should be far too simple a concept for you to struggle for to grasp."

"You don't know what you're telling me," warned Raito. Gods… the barrage of thoughts had started again. If Ryuuzaki didn't do something completely aggravating soon to break the mood, then Raito wasn't sure what was going to happen. A strange, spacey feeling was filling his head and it was as if his stomach were coming detached. What the hell was wrong with him? Was it some disease? Mental scans of the massive medical journals that he had read did not seem to be turning up any possible results that could offer an answer to his discomfort. He had been in a perfectly sanitary environment. Maybe even an _overly_ sanitary environment, due to L's complete disregard for ironing but apparent obsession with every other form of hygiene. No one in the team was ill, and the only possible person he could have caught anything off of as far as viruses went was L, who was as unnaturally healthy as ever for someone who lived on a sugar based diet.

The only one who could be to blame was L.

This called for revenge.

Ryuuzaki frowned, eyebrows knit with perplexion. "I'm seriously concerned here, Raito-kun. You do not look yourself. Can I help you? Do you need anythi-" His eyes widened impossibly as Raito decided to give up the ghost once and for all, seizing the back of L's swivel chair and hauling it across the floor and directly in front of himself. L stared up in shock at the youth standing over him, mouth ajar in confusion, paused by the unexpected interruption.

Raito knelt down, eyes serious on L's own, still so impossibly startled. "You can help," he said calmly, "by shutting up."

And with that, he pressed forwards and caught the detective's frozen lips with his own.


	5. Chapter 5

Wild-filly: Cliffhangers are evil… hell, I want to know what's going to happen too

Disclaimer: Don't own, so please don't sue – it's a long and tiring process, plus I don't know any one good enough to defend me.

………….

Mind Games: Chapter 5

Trials and Tribulations

…………...

_I have never felt I had a home,_

_Even in a crowd I felt alone,_

_I'd almost given up on life._

_I'm fully determined now,_

_And never thought I'd ever feel again._

_I believed in nothing,_

_But you believe in me._

The moment seemed to last an eternity. Raito's heart was thundering hard enough for his chest to burst. But L didn't move. Or rather, perhaps he couldn't. Raito's arms had unwittingly pinned those of his rival to the sides of the chair, knuckles white with stress from clenching the plastic frame so tightly. The detective's lips were soft, yet completely unyielding. It was as if he were kissing someone in a coma. Ryuuzaki's eyes were wide; near impossibly so. They stared at Raito with something that he couldn't read from this distance. Damn shortsightedness. Mind you, his own eyes were half-lidded; partly from the kiss, and partly to avoid that unnerving stare.

_What the hell had he done! _It would only take one shove, one frown, and his life as he knew it would go from appalling to worse in less than three seconds.

Ah well, at least Ryuuzaki might take out a restraining order. He'd certainly be less comfortable about sleeping in the same bed as Raito. He might even ditch the handcuffs altogether.

Although Raito wasn't so sure that he saw those as a problem any more.

Seconds seemed to trail by. Raito didn't dare to deepen the delicate contact, sensitive skin of his lips just touching that of the motionless detective, yet didn't know what would happen if he were to pull away. _What the hell was he supposed to do now? _This had to go down in history as one of his most poorly thought out plans yet.

Thankfully, he was saved from having to decide for himself.

Perhaps it was the pressure that Raito was putting on the spindly detective, leaning down into the kiss and pushing down on the chair, that knocked him off balance. Maybe it was the shock that Raito had leant in and caught the detective in the first place. Maybe it was because the chair was of inferior quality, or maybe because Ryuuzaki's feet had finally fallen asleep from having been sat in a perching position for so long.

Either way, there was a _thump _as Ryuuzaki's feet buckled from underneath him, sending him backwards with a dull thud, backside landing on the abused swivel chair for possibly the first time this year. Unfortunately, the sudden shift of balance acted in a detrimental way in reaction to Raito's bodyweight also pressing down on it, causing the chair to careen over; namely in a floor-wards direction.

Raito opened his eyes completely just in time to see L's own pupils widen with a different variety of shock, as gravity chose to engage him for a moment and send him sprawling to the floor. Raito barely managed to dodge the rough plastic chair arm that flew up to meet him. Was markedly unsuccessful though. The arm of the falling chair caught his chin and threw his head back in a sharp whiplash movement. Coppery blood filled his mouth with a sharp tang. Damn it; he'd bitten his tongue. Or chipped a tooth; one of the two.

Ryuuzaki however, was not so fortunate in being able to duck. He crashed to the ground and crumpled there, head striking the rather solid carpeting with a nasty crack. His eyes fell shut, and breathing grew lax. Raito promptly had a minor heart complaint.

"Ryuuzaki!" he spat a small mouthful of blood down his shirt as he spoke, but ignored it, shoving the upended swivel chair out of the way and crouching beside his fallen friend. "Ryuuzaki!" he called anxiously again, tugging at the other youth's shoulder. There was no movement from the spidery figure.

_Shit!_ He hadn't knocked him into a real coma had he? Raito stared about himself desperately. A glass of water gleamed on the desk above him. He reached for it and dashed the lot on Ryuuzaki's face, even paler than normal.

It worked. With a cough, L's eyes flew open again, spluttering as water trickled into his nose and the heady cold seeped through his shirt. Choking, he allowed Raito to haul him upright, eyes half-closing with pain. Raito wordlessly supported the detective in his arms, ignoring his brain as earlier thoughts resurfaced hopefully, only to be slapped in the face and called bastards by his common sense. Oh for crying out loud; this was _not_ a good way to start a meaningful relationship in anyone's books. Raito's own books might have been battered, misplaced and usually stories of manipulation, deceit and egotism, but even _he_ wasn't as stupid as this.

Was he insulting himself now? Good grief. Ryuuzaki had altered his mind – it was official.

"Raito-kun," Le rasped, wincing as he brought one hand gingerly up to the back of his head. "What was I doing on the floor?" His eyes swam with dazed confusion. He didn't seem to notice, or perhaps just didn't care that he was currently being held upright entirely by Raito.

Raito blinked. _He couldn't have…_ "You slipped off your chair, Ryuuzaki. Don't you remember?" _This was too…perfect_.

L frowned, drawing back his hand and staring at his fingers. Blood stained those fragile digits. Just how hard had he hit his head anyway? Raito gently rotated himself about L's form to observe for himself. "Where does it hurt, Ryuuzaki?" he asked. The question was unnecessary. He could hazard a pretty good guess that the gash under his hair, dripping little droplets of blood down his collar was the source. One didn't have to be a genius to figure out that blood equals pain.

"Back of my head. Neck hurts too," muttered L. He seemed a little disorientated, or maybe just perplexed as to why Raito was getting so touchy-feely about him being hurt. "I should call Watari."

"I'll go and get him in a minute," promised Raito, "just let me get a look at this myself." He released L's shoulders long enough to place both hands on the detective's head, fingers burying into the other youth's hair. He numbly felt for the ridges of the wound, brain coldly analytical while his hormones danced with glee, only to be silenced by his conscience and dignity acting in unison to prevent against further embarrassment.

"What are you, a doctor?" snipped L irritably. But he didn't protest any more than that as Raito brushed back the long, surprisingly soft locks to observe the floor's handiwork. As he stared critically at the shallow gash, Raito tried not to let himself become distracted by the fact that L's hair was scruffy, rather than oily, as he had expected from one who lived on an entirely sugar-based diet.

"No," replied Raito calmly, "but I do know when someone has suffered from concussion, or if someone might be bleeding to death. For some peculiar reason, I'd rather ascertain that this is neither of those things before I go running off to find Watari." It wasn't serious, thankfully. Only a scratch. Probably from the edge of the desk as he fell. Jeez, even _falling_ Ryuuzaki was a klutz.

"I said I'd call him," pointed out L. He pushed Raito's hands away so that he could probe the wound himself, wincing at intervals as he discovered precisely which bits hurt the most. Raito noted with some amusement that even the greatest minds in the world weren't immune to this profoundly human piece of idiocy: something hurts; therefore I shall worry at it to find out just how much.

Raito shook his head, settling back beside L. "Watari's on the next floor. You sent him there yourself to read the first drawer files and reorder them, remember?"

There was a very pregnant pause as L raised his hand to his chin and appeared to consider this for a moment. Raito held his breath. Ryuuzaki's eyes closed even further, as if with intense concentration. His thin eyebrows knit expressively over his usually stoic face. Then he sighed, turning to look at Raito with an expression of near heart-melting mournfulness.

"I don't, Raito-kun."

"You don't remember sending him? Great… what _do_ you remember from today? Tell me." This could be…useful. Raito felt a bead of sweat trickle down his back. Was he relieved, or disappointed?

L frowned. "Well… I woke up early as usual and waited around for you to waken too. Then I had chocolate-chip pancakes for breakfast." He stopped. "That's it." He stared at Raito curiously. "What time was that at?"

Trust L to remember pancakes rather than a kiss from a mass murderer.

"That was about three and a half hours ago," informed Raito. "It's almost lunchtime."

"So what happened in between then?" L rubbed his head awkwardly. He still hadn't tried to get back to his feet, nor had he pulled away from Raito's supportive frame, preventing him from sinking back to the floor. Raito hesitated. How much should he say? Did he want to admit what had happened in those moments just before Ryuuzaki hit his head?

No. He decided it coldly, and without emotion. He had acted brashly and based wholly on emotions. He had to think about this much more seriously. Maybe he would tell Ryuuzaki about it later. For now though, he had to recover his cool demeanour. He was getting too caught up in himself.

The words snagged in his throat as he gritted his teeth. "We-, I… we were working on the Kira case," he said lamely. "You gave me my birthday present. Do you remember what it was?"

"A book," replied L automatically. He blinked appraisingly at Raito. "You liked it. I can remember that much."

Raito held his breath again. "Can you remember anything after that?"

L frowned. "I don't know… it all seems so very strange after that. I've been concussed once before, when I tripped over my shoelaces in a tennis competition. That's why I don't like to wear shoes anymore." He stared reproachfully at the fallen swivel chair, lying wheels-up on the thin carpet. "I need a new chair. One without wheels."

Hm. _He hadn't answered the question_. And Raito didn't have the nerve to fill him in. All of the nervous energy that had fueled him only minutes earlier seemed to have evaporated, leaving nothing but resentful nerves. Curse Ryuuzaki's clumsiness ruining the moment. Would he ever find the courage again to repeat the performance? Or did Ryuuzaki remember perfectly and had staged the whole fall just to avoid confronting the issue?

It's all Ryuuzaki's fault.

Jeez. That teenaged, hormonal resentment thing really did take hold at times, didn't it? Raito was almost morbidly amused by his own childishness at times. Cool rationality replaced hurt dignity as he watched L fumble to his feet, clutching at the desk for support. He offered the lanky detective his hand, and to his surprise, it was seized without a second glance. All was not without hope, he rationalized, forcibly quelling his own bitterness at a chance lost.

"Ryuuzaki-kun, Raito-kun! We've brought lunch!" chirped Matsuda behind the door.

Oh great. The moron patrol had arrived. As Raito shuffled to his feet hurriedly, he could have swore that he felt, just for an instant, the warm weight of L's hand on his back. No sooner had he thought it though than it had disappeared. The onslaught of the rest of the investigation team arriving prevented him from confronting the detective on the suspect contact.

"About time," snorted Raito conversationally. "I was beginning to think that you had got lost on the way, Matusda-san." _Go away; the lot of you. _Matsuda grinned, unabashed as he waved a carrier of take-away sushi. Great. The same place _again_. At least L could put in his own order for different pastries from all over the region; Raito however was stuck with whatever the rest of the crew picked up for him.

"Ryuuzaki, what happened to you?" came the sudden inquiry. Raito closed his eyes. "Did you and Raito-kun have another fight?" His father's voice was reproachful. "Don't tell me you were brawling on your birthday, son."

"No, Yagami-san," filled in L, before Raito could reply haughtily. "I believe that I fell off my chair while studying. I can't exactly remember what happened. When Watari gets back, I would like him to contact my physician to take a look at the mark on my head."

The combined expressions of shock and pity that instantly flashed to the faces of the team filled Raito was something so resentful it was close to actual hatred. It felt as if they were all somehow blaming him for L's injury, just by feeling sorry for the skinny detective. _Nonsense_, he growled to himself. They didn't know what had happened. The only way they'd find out would be through… the security cameras.

Oh. Good. Lord.

"Are you okay, Raito-kun?" asked his father suddenly, voice full of concern. "You've gone very pale."

Now was not a good time to have a rush of déjà vu.

"I'm fine, dad," replied Raito casually, brushing the sweat from his forehead as L turned to him curiously. "It's just the heat or something. What did you get me from the stand? I'm starving." Hastily changing the subject he surreptitiously shot a glance to the security cameras dotted about the ceiling. _How could he have forgotten! _Even if Ryuuzaki had in fact lost his memory, or more likely, suppressed it for later consideration, there was no escaping the hard visual evidence of Raito leaning in to permanently destroy his reputation.

Did his _father_ view those security tapes regularly?

The thought wasn't even worth considering.

"Well…" his father trailed off, reaching over into the collection of plastic bags that had been dumped on the nearest desk as the rest of the team sloped over to their respective chairs, clutching bento boxes and western food wrappings. "Actually we've got you something else, Raito."

Oh please, not now.

Delving through the plastic depths, his father hauled a battered cardboard box into view. A chocolaty smear on the outside of the container was all the evidence that Raito needed to see. Peeling back the lid with a grin on his face, Raito's father wandered over to him to present the entirely ill-timed birthday cake.

"Happy birthday, Raito" he said proudly. Raito stared, trying not to look too contemptuous as he surveyed the sticky chocolate dessert.

"Thanks," he managed, forcing a broad smile onto his face. Somehow the rest of the team swallowed it and applauded, grinning widely. Raito noticed that L followed suit, though in a considerably more clumsy fashion, as if adversed to having his hands make contact with each other. "It's a great cake, dad. I take it this is going to be lunch?" The conspiratal nod merely confirmed his fears. Great. Not only was he chained to a sugar-obsessed maniac, but he was going to have to eat like one as well.

L contrived to slope over. Raito jumped as he realized that the smaller detective was standing directly behind him, glancing around his shoulder in an interested fashion. "What kind of cake is it, Yagami-san?"

"Candles first, Ryuuzaki," chided his father, much to Raito's surprise. He'd never have seen his father ever pull L up for something. Now that he thought of it though, he could see a certain air of annoyance about his father's face as he observed Raito and L. Ah. The handcuffs. This was Raito's first birthday as a suspect murderer, so of course his father was going to be annoyed about it.

L stepped backwards amiably enough, as if completely oblivious to the hostility barely concealed from the older man. Not that Raito believed that he'd missed it for a minute; L might have been lousy with inter-human relationships, but one did not survive for long in the policing world if one could not detect a challenge or threat.

Regardless, Raito watched without emotion as his father lined up the pale candles in neatly regimented rows. _Nineteen years of life, and this was all he had to show for it_. A slab of confectionary, a book about the darkest side of humanity, and a possible (though accidental) concussion to his only love interest.

Even in his head those words sounded weird. He wasn't… that…with Ryuuzaki? The concept seemed bizarre. But why else would he have lost control like that? Raito _never_ lost control over anything, but L seemed to have the most aggravating habit of being able to read Raito like a book, and toss him just as easily to the side, dismissive of his impressive arguments and eloquence. He couldn't justify what he had done. Maybe it was just as well that L seemed not to remember.

"You alive in there, Raito-kun?" He started. Everyone was staring at him expectantly. Oops. Not the right time to zone out. He grinned apologetically.

"Sorry, I was just thinking." It was the truth, after all.

Matsuda grinned winsomely, winking in a conspiratal way. "Blow out all the candles, Raito-kun. How many left means how many admirers you have," he added slyly. The rest of the team snorted and rolled their eyes deversively. Raito did the same, but couldn't see what L was doing. Probably too busy staring at the cake to even notice what was going on around him.

Shutting his eyes briefly, Raito drew a long breath and expelled, extinguishing the candles one by one. His lungs squeezed like a vice as he ran out of air, leaving one candle to flicker and die in a tiny puff of smoke. _Hm_. Stupid superstitions.

"Go ahead and cut the cake, Raito," motioned his father, passing him some plates. Raito obliged, hacking the sticky, fudgey mass into narrow squares. He passed the first to Ryuuzaki more out of habit than anything else, but for some reason that seemed to surprise the spindly detective greatly.

Raito blinked, offering the plate out to L. Why wasn't he taking it? "This one's for you. Ryuuzaki," he clarified, pushing the proffered slice towards him. "Go ahead."

But L didn't say anything. He just looked from the cake to Raito, and back to the cake. Then he hesitated, and suddenly reached for it as if Raito might snatch it away at any second and laugh in his face. Raito shrugged and turned to dole out the rest of the offensively sweet foodstuff to the rest of the team, with just a small thought niggling at the back of his mind. _What was with Ryuuzaki? _The concussion hadn't actually knocked a screw loose somewhere, had it?

"Can I have another piece?" intoned L passively the instant Raito embedded his own fork into a thick slice. A vein twitched on Raito's forehead. Just how quickly did that guy ingest food? It couldn't be human. All the same, he nodded demurely and cut off a generous helping. _That should shut him up for a while_. Or at least fill him so full of cake that he couldn't make demands. Hell, he might even eat so much that he became sleepy, and Raito could enjoy a couple of spare minutes to crop the video footage of the room before Watari had a chance to give himself a complementary heart-attack at the sight of his young employer being molested by another male.

Ouch. Just remembering the footage tapes made Raito wince. Fixing a determinedly calm expression on his face, he passed the massive slice of heavy chocolate layer cake over to L. Instantly he found himself cheered somewhat as the sun appeared to rise in L's face at the sight of the huge portion of sugary goodness. There was no question in L's eyes this time as he accepted the plate, entire physique writ with every sign of delight as he drove his fork into the new slice of cake.

Mouth full, he fixed his eyes on Raito. "Thank you, Raito-kun."

Raito smiled tightly. "You're welcome." That was no ordinary 'thank you'. L didn't have to say anything to Raito; they both knew that. How amusing. All it had taken to gain a distinction in L's eyes was to give him a couple of pieces of cake.

Gods damn it all; he'd have done it earlier if he'd realized that this was the reaction he'd get.

Just imagine the response if he'd been given a strawberry cake.

The rest of the afternoon was somewhat dull after that. Work proceeded as usual, though this time girt by cake crumbs. The evening round-off came and went, along with the rest of the crew. Raito nodded to his father as he announced that he was going home. It didn't matter to him so much. The look of sorrow that had flitted into his father's face at the realization that Raito would not be coming home for a birthday dinner seemed oddly distant from him. He was an adult. He could handle this himself. Still, it dragged an old feeling of resentment to his chest as he watched his sire leave. Finally alone. Completely alone.

The water cooler was buzzing again. It nagged at Raito's brain as he scribbled feverishly on a piece of paper about some trivial little matter pertaining to the Kira case. L was staring at his screen unblinkingly, as per usual. He might be sleeping with his eyes open, as Raito was suspicious that he spent a lot of time doing.

It was now or never. He had to get those security tapes.

"Raito-kun? Do you know what this is?"

Raising his head, Raito felt every bit of colour that had ever visited his face drain from it.

L was watching the security tapes already.

He cleared his throat, which now felt as if he had swallowed a bagful of gravel. "Yes. It's the security tape for this room. Today's I believe."

L nodded, eyes riveted on the blurry picture. "Do you know what is on this?"

Raito nodded grimly. What was the point in lying? It wasn't as if he could feign mental illness or impairment that could explain his actions. He almost cursed his own stupidity that he hadn't considered that L might try to jog his memory of the events of the day by _watching the security video_.

L stared at him levelly, dark eyes serious. "Would you care to tell me precisely what was going on?"

Raito hesitated, pulling words into his mind as carefully as possible. One word could ruin it all.

"I… I don't know what I was thinking, Ryuuzaki. I acted on impulse. I realized something that had not crossed my mind before." He sat rigidly, back ramrod straight. Another row of sweat had broken out across his brow. His hands had become clammy. It irked him that it had to be his only rival that was the person who could do this to him. It was most unjust.

L blinked, perplexed. "That's not what I mean. Look." He gestured towards the screen. Woodenly, Raito rose from his chair and wandered over to the computer desk. The fuzzy footage of the security camera flickered in front of him. That was unusual. The cameras were usually in perfectly clear working order.

"The images are shot to pieces," lamented L, chewing on his thumb thoughtfully. "The video feed is too pixilated to make much sense of. My only assumptions are that there was a power cut at the time, or that the footage was tampered with."

_The screensaver wasn't a screensaver. It was a dead screen._ It all rushed back to Raito as he replayed the events of the morning in his head. The cameras ran on a mixed feed of their own generator and general electricity, but when on their own power, tended to decline in quality in order to preserve longevity. He knew this, since he had contemplated how to manipulate the footage before, when sitting idle and too bored to think of anything else. How remarkably convenient. "I can safely say that I have not tampered with the footage, Ryuuzaki," replied Raito. _For one thing, I was only _intending_ to tamper with it; I never actually got round to it._

"So what is happening here?" L was staring at the screen intensely, eyebrows furrowed with concentration. "I can see you here-" he prodded the screen, "and I'm over here." He gestured to another point. Then he tacked a different key. Raito watched his recorded self get up and walk over to the gritty image of L. "I think that's me giving you a present," commented Ryuuzaki. Raito watched without feeling. It was as if he were standing in a dream.

"_There_," hissed L. He froze the picture and pointed at the image. Raito swallowed. The two indistinct figures were hunched together, pixels merging. The crouched detective glanced up at Raito curiously. "I have no memory of what happened there, Raito-kun," he said plaintively. He stared at Raito as if attempting to bore into his eyes, "would you tell me precisely what is happening?"

Raito let himself relax, trying to beckon a bit of serenity into his nervous form. Well, was he going to admit it or not? Did he really have to think more on the subject? He had kissed another boy. A boy whom he had loathed with a rather different kind of passion for some time. A boy who was currently persecuting him as a murderer, impeding his freedom and forcing him to research the same case that was trying to pin _him_ as the perpetrator. Was he insane? Quite possibly. Was he a genius? Also quite possibly. So was any action that he took reprehensible or wrong? Raito toyed with that thought as he stared pensively back at L. He was a highly intelligent person, so why should he be ashamed of something he had done of his own volition? Could he be wrong, when so much more often he was completely correct in his thoughts?

He wanted an answer. Mostly he wanted _L's_ answer to that question.

"You gave me a birthday present, Ryuuzaki," said Raito slowly, deliberately. "I was amazed that you did such a thing for me."

"Why wouldn't I?" queried L in surprise. "You're my friend, Raito-kun. I feel obliged to acknowledge your birthday in some way."

"Yes, I know that," brushed away Raito. "But you made me think of something else. I… I reacted in a way that I have not reacted before." He gritted his teeth as L stared back at him as blankly as ever.

"Would you care to elaborate on that one?" asked the other youth patiently. There was an almost predatory air about him. Raito was under the impression that he was being backed against a wall without even knowing it. Ryuuzaki's tone and confused expression were all wrong for a persecutor, but somehow he felt as though he were being forced into admitting something, rather than offering the knowledge of his own desire.

"It's a little embarrassing," said Raito defensively, "but I… I think that I might see you in a way other than simply 'a friend', Ryuuzaki-kun."

And if he _dared_ to pull that stupid, dazed expression and ask for an elaboration now, Raito was going to kill him. He'd even added _'-kun'_ to his name; a show of unprecedented friendliness. L was a genius for crying out loud; surely he could figure it out. He held his breath, and with his breath held his nerve.

"Indeed?"

That one, simple, expressionless word was just fuel to the emotional fire that was fighting cold intellect.

"That's all you can say?" asked Raito, voice shaking ever so slightly. "Don't you know how hard that is for me to admit?"

"Yes, I do," said L dryly. "It was hard enough to leave a mark on the back of my head."

Raito slammed his fist onto the desk, making the keyboard jump and L's recent sugar-lump sculpture collapse in a calorie-filled avalanche. "That's not what I meant!" he snapped. Intellect be damned, he just wanted a straight answer. "You never lost your memory, did you?"

"Of course not," replied L stoically, completely ignoring Raito's display of frustration. "I briefly lost consciousness, but amnesia is something far more difficult to attain. You ought to know that, Yagami-kun."

"I do know that," said Raito irritably. "I thought that you might be faking it, but didn't want to force something like this on you."

"What makes now so special then?"

"You _asked_ for it, you moron!"

At that, L's eyes became even heavier. Something positively akin to anger had filled the spindly youth's demeanour, jaw clenched in an unfamiliar, but positively adorable way. Raito faltered. Had he gone too far? He had never seen L look _angry_; that was an emotion that mere humans felt.

"Never call me that again," growled L. "Yes, I forced you to admit what happened, even though I know full well what occurred. But I do not merit being insulted. It was a tactical manoeuver that could have spared both of us a lot of embarrassment."

It struck Raito. "You're mad because I called you a moron?" L stared dully back at him, spark of annoyance fleeing as swiftly as it had risen. "Are you that sensitive about your intelligence?" Raito was amazed at himself; he'd become distracted from his emotional onslaught by this minor discovery.

Perhaps because he'd finally found a button that he could push on his sort-of nemesis.

"I don't think you're a moron," he reassured his silent rival. "Quite the opposite. But you're toying with my emotions. Not even _I_ toy with them on a regular basis. It is most unfair of you to do so." He spoke more calmly, even though his irritation threatened to manifest itself at any moment. He stared down at Ryuuzaki, still huddled on his computer chair with a mulish expression on his face. The other youth looked distinctly annoyed. Raito couldn't suppress the mild feeing of delight that came to him. _I finally got to him!_

"Fine," snorted L at last. "Don't sugarcoat your words. And yes, I was forcing your hand. I wanted to see if you had the courage to even admit what had happened, or if it were an accident on your behalf that you'd seize the chance to forget."

"Well I don't want to forget it," stated Raito simply, and with no small measure of relief. L knew that he'd been kissed, and yet hadn't had him hung, drawn, quartered and informed that his likelihood of being Kira had just increased by 0.3 of a percent. There was hope after all. "What do you want to do about this?"

L look startled, "why are you asking me?"

"Because this is your problem too."

"Oh," L blinked. "Yes, I suppose it is, isn't it?" Raito closed his eyes very gently and began to massage his temples. _This was going to be the death of him one day, it really was. _Ryuuzaki seemed to lapse into a meditative daze as Raito stood there, feeling more awkward than he'd ever done in his life.

"Well…" he said slowly, chewing on the tip of his well-worn thumb. "I guess that I can't pass judgment on that one just yet."

"So are you going to take the handcuffs off?"

L looked surprised. "Why do you ask?"

Raito rolled his eyes. "It seems pretty obvious that if you're not sure, then we should probably give each other a little space. It'd just be awkward otherwise." This was one of the worst things about Ryuuzaki's inability to understand human behaviour in relation to emotions: having to explain things that came naturally to most every other member of the species.

"Does it?" L's eyes contained a kind of mild bewilderment. "I don't see how it should be awkward. Anyway, the Kira case is more important than this. I see no reason to get rid of the handcuffs."

Just how naïve was this guy? Raito could hardly believe it. Emotionally stunted, socially ill-equipped, obsessed with his work and with an IQ that frightened most university laureates. He couldn't have picked a better candidate to thrust his own, badly arranged emotions towards.

Oh well. This could only get more interesting.

"By the way," added L as an afterthought, "this doesn't mean that I'm any less adversed to being used as a pillow in the middle of the night. Nor do I want any public displays of affection. I'm not overly keen on being referred to by weird names either-" He was cut off by Raito upending a cup of cold tea over his head, which does tend to have a distracting effect on most people.

"I'm not an extra from a stupid service-station novel, you idiot!"

………..

wild-filly: The real games have now begun! This is the best way I could see both of them even _considering_ being together whilst still remaining in character.

By the way, trust me on the concussion thing – I've broken many bits of myself and am well versed in the workings of the concussed mind. No fear on that one (embarrassed grin).

By the way, obscure as it is, this fanfic does in fact have something approaching a plot. So please don't run for cover or go white in shock when it arises – wild-filly has read the full Death Note manga, and intends to honour it, as much as she resents aspects of it. But please have faith in her love of happy endings!


	6. Chapter 6

Wild-filly: Back again – shorter chapter because I'm supposed to be doing three big assignments rather than things that I enjo

Sorry to everyone I startled in the fourth chapter… I was writing it with the fifth in mind, so I forgot how rushed it might have seemed – forgive me? My brain operates in a retrospective manner, much to the annoyance of most people, myself included.

Disclaimer: Don't own, so don't sue. Feh. This is getting repetitive.

………..

Mind Games: Chapter Six

What doesn't kill you…

…………..

_Light, like the flutter of wings, feel your hollow voice rushing into me_

_As you're longing to sing_

_So I... I will paint you in silver, I will wrap you in cold_

_I will lift up your voice as I sink_

_Your sins into me_

_Oh my beautiful one_

_Your sins into me, oh_

_As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer_

_And I'll beg for forgiveness_

So, he had officially ruined his life. Raito bounced the thought around his skull like a tennis ball off the ugly cement wall of a cell. Which he did, after all, more or less inhabit at the moment. It was a large cell, of course, and one with nice décor and a fridge nearby, but a cell nonetheless. A cell in a pleasant guise of a police building. However that was supposed to make sense. Hell, he even knew where the real cells _were_ in here. It was only a matter of time before he made a mistake and ended up in one of them. Again.

Mind you, a cell would almost be preferable at the moment, he mused, because at least then they wouldn't handcuff him to the most annoying person he had ever met.

Well, that wasn't quite fair. He _had_ met Misa after all.

Not that it wasn't still a stiff competition between her and L. They both expected things of Raito that he had no interest in giving.

It was a pity that they couldn't just swap their demands around. Maybe then his life would be a little easier.

Nope. Just weirder.

He shuddered at the thought of Misa as a detective and L as… Brain shutting down now. Refocus please, Raito. He had more pressing problems at hand than concocting new and disturbing thoughts, brought to him by gutter productions in association with hormonal issues and directed by a frustrated brain.

In fact, Misa was the source of his current concerns. Not that you would immediately think this of a young sociopath who is currently standing underneath the scalding downpour of the elaborate shower. The hated chain snaked its way around the steamed glass doors, the other attached person probably hunched on the stool outside the shower door, strategically facing the opposite wall. Not that Raito wasn't suspicious of L sneaking a glance at him. After all, he _was_ supposed to be under constant surveillance.

How very irritating.

But anyway, back to the task at hand. He had a couple of minutes of L-free peace, so he might as well use them in a stressful fashion. Today was, yet again, Misa's visiting day. It wasn't that he held any great grudge against her, or that he was any more contemptuous of her than any other human being. Indeed, she was positively inoffensive compared to some of the other people he was forced to live alongside. What made her unique in his troubles for now, was that he didn't know how to react to her around L. After all, he _had_ told the detective about his feelings. More or less. Sort of. In a very roundabout, uncommitted and largely incomprehensible way.

Hell, what were his feelings anyway? Even he wasn't too sure yet, let alone L.

He was making too much out of nothing, he decided, staring mutinously at the soap-slick marble wall. L probably wouldn't even notice Misa entering the room, let alone her chirping, flirtatious dialogue directed at Raito. The two seemed to regard one another with a special kind of disdain. A dollop of shampoo trailed down from his forehead and stung him neatly in the eye. Damn. Better to think about this later. He didn't have enough time in all of his shower-breaks combined to work out what was up with those two.

Twisting the taps in a grinding metallic symphony, he hastily rinsed off the last of the shampoo from his sodden brown tresses and shut off the water. As the last drips pattered onto the floor, an inexplicable melancholy feeling gripped him. _Another day of torture, suspicion and deceit_. Delightful. His life never failed to surprise him.

"Here's your towel."

Raito leapt as if electrocuted. He fought against the urge to spin around and look at Ryuuzaki, knowing that it would result in his losing every shred of dignity he had entered the building with.

"Thanks," he hissed through gritted teeth, reaching out blindly behind himself. A soft, fluffy mass met his fumbling fingers, and he grabbed it, rapidly spinning the pliant fabric around himself. Then he turned to glare at his assailant, modesty vaguely recovered.

"I could have reached out and got it myself, you know," he informed L, not even trying to restrain his annoyance. "There's no need for you to see anything other than what that wall has to offer." He pointed at the opposite wall for emphasis. What was _with_ this guy?

L regarded him with a sleepy, yet oddly irritable stare. "You were taking forever, so I thought I'd hurry you along a little. My apologies for offering assistance." His reply was crisp and unusually icy. Raito was momentarily taken aback, but then remembered just whom he was talking to.

"Did you think that you would catch me doing something Kira-like _in the shower_?"

L didn't even bat an eyelid. "It's a remote chance that must be taken into account, Yagami-kun. I am not allowed to leave any possibility unchecked."

"_That should not include my person!"_

Just when he thought that Ryuuzaki couldn't get any more disconcerting, he'd gone ahead and lifted the bar to new and unbelievable heights. Remarkable. Just when life couldn't have gotten more oppressive.

"Why are you so shy, Yagami-kun?" L posed the question innocently enough, head cocked to one side in a perfect display of naivety. "If you've done nothing wrong, then you have nothing to worry about. This could just as easily prove that you aren't Kira as much as it would prove that you are…" He was cut off by Raito's facial expression, which by now had progressed into the potentially lethal category.

"That… has got to be the most pathetic excuse that I have ever heard… all day!" He corrected himself in mid-rant. "This has nothing to do with the Kira case!" he resumed exploding. "What I'm 'shy' about, Ryuuzaki, is your complete inability to give me any privacy where it is due according to basic human standards! It's not shyness, it's humiliation!"

Ryuuzaki stared back at him as if he had been on brain screensaver for the entirety of the outburst. "How do I know that that humiliation isn't staged? It would not be beyond Kira to feign offensive simply to cover up a more sinister act."

Before Raito could answer with another furious retort, L turned away, tugging on the chain. "Come on. We've wasted enough time here. Get changed, or whatever you're planning to do." L spoke darkly. Raito wondered briefly if he'd insulted the stoic detective, but easily returned to his own outrage. Muttering under his breath, he tugged on his newly laundered clothes and trudged after L, padding barefoot down towards the main room of the investigation.

Sigh. Another day of tedium.

The rest of the crew was already in their seats, poring over assorted documents with imitations of pensiveness writ across their faces. Raito wasn't in the mood for this today. He was actually quite relieved that he'd left L's gift on his desk the other night. At least he'd have something _interesting_ to read for once. Maybe. He hadn't read the book before; it might be the most boring thing to ever have snuck through the printers.

Ah well. It would be better than the case files at least.

As L stared enraptured at his computer screen, spindly fingers flying at surreal speeds over the keyboard, Raito surreptitiously commenced reading the new book. He was so engrossed with it that he didn't even notice the warning signs that Misa was about to open the door. The telltale wafts of syrupy perfume coming through the cracks in the door. The jingle of heavy, metallic costume jewellery. The clunking of gothic Lolita shoes on the thin carpet. Not one of them reached his distracted mind.

"Raito-kun! Misa missed you so!"

Raito barely had time to secrete his book away and defend himself against suffocation as Misa's thin arms wrapped themselves about his neck. He tolerated it with a mild look of resignation on his face. "It's nice to see you too, Misa." The twinkle of adoration that soared in her eyes was reminiscent of a puppy being offered a walk. He felt a little cruel for doing it.

"Is Raito-kun free today?" queried Misa eagerly. "Misa would like to go for a walk with Raito-kun, since the rain has let up for spring. Misa has been so bored, locked up all the time."

"I'm afraid not, Misa," replied Raito, lifting his manacled hand by way of demonstration. "I'm still busy working. I can't go out." _That and I still haven't recovered from the last bout of torture_, he mentally added.

At the gesture, Misa wrinkled up her nose in disgust and pulled a face at L, who was conscientiously maintaining his stoic stance and ignoring them both. Raito wished that he had that option. He would have paid good money to see L in his own shoes, fending off Misa's adoring clutches.

Hang on. That wasn't a jealous twinge was it?

"Why is Ryuuzaki-kun so clingy to Raito-kun all the time?" questioned Misa petulantly. She fluffed out her hair irritably, planting both hands on her hips to glare accusingly at L, who was continuing to ignore her in a steadfast manner. "It's not fair. After all, _Misa_ is Raito's girlfriend, not Ryuuza-"

_Crash_. L dropped his sugar-laden teacup, spilling the scalding brew all over his keyboard and all down his front. A small scattering of sparks flickered into life, dancing about the keys and drowned circuits.

"You okay?" Raito turned on his chair to survey his still determinedly stoic rival. There was a deep tea stain down the front of L's shirt. It had to be burning him something horrible. Not that L was going to acknowledge that. Raito nearly chuckled at the look on L's face. It was obvious that the detective's brain was running on a horrified overtime at Misa's innocent complaint. Or maybe that tea was hotter than he'd thought it would be.

"Of course, Yagami-kun," replied L demurely, staring at his keyboard as if wondering what on earth could have caused it to malfunction so. "My fingers slipped for some reason." Poor guy. He looked even paler than usual, and that was saying something.

Pity? This wasn't a good sign… Raito wasn't sure that he could handle more than one emotion a day.

"Ryuuzaki is clumsy," scoffed Misa, still putout at having her invitation forcibly declined courtesy of L's fashion jewellery statement. L shot her a dark look and plucked at his soggy white shirt, as if noticing the searing pain of a third degree burn for the first time. "This is ruined."

"Your shirt or stomach? Are you sure you're okay?" asked Raito again, persistently. "That tea was still hot. You should put a compress on or something." Why oh why was he playing the Good Samaritan? Oh yeah. He sort of, kind of, maybe, possibly liked Ryuuzaki. Oops. Stupid memory.

"Whatever for?" L blinked, bemused.

"To prevent blinding pain and scarring?"

"Ah." L continued to do nothing, save alternate his stare between the ruined keyboard and stained shirt. For a genius, he certainly wasn't the best at handling any case less complicated than wilful murder. A beverage spillage seemed to be too mundane for him to even know where to start to handle.

"Come on," Raito rolled his eyes and reached for Ryuuzaki's sleeve, tugging him in earnest like a parent would an errant child. "Go and get a clean shirt, and I'll send Watari to get a cold cloth. Just take off the handcuffs and I'll sort it out."

Easier said than done. Raito realised what he'd said too late as L raised one eyebrow, wrinkled his nose at the stained shirt and tapped the desk irritably. Reaching over and slapping the only functional key on the keyboard, he leant over the intercom. "Watari, I need a new keyboard and mouse. And a shirt. A clean one." Well _that_ was a clear enough dismissal. Raito considered sulking, or at least making a comment regarding his help not being appreciated, but wrote it off as being too juvenile. Not that he wouldn't dredge it up later for future vacations into bitterness.

There was a fuzz of static on the other end of the intercom, and what might have been a mumble of surprised acquiescence. Raito pondered briefly over just what Watari was thinking had transpired to create such an unusual demand from his employer. Or was he L's guardian? An odd old relative? Why the hell didn't Raito know what the old guy's relationship to L really was? Yet another thing to annoy him. Joy.

"Why can't Misa be alone with Raito-kun while Ryuuzaki gets changed?" asked Misa, rallying herself. She shot Raito a mischievous look that suggested of making a quick getaway the instant the handcuffs were off. Or maybe something even worse once L was simply out of eyeshot. It wasn't really worth thinking about. Raito gave her a small smile, pushing aside his very well-founded fears and looked over at L as if in apology to her.

"I don't think that would work, Misa. We can't take these handcuffs off." Her face fell.

L waved his hand dismissively at them both. "Do your own thing. Misa can follow us over to the bathroom and wait outside the door with Raito if she really wants to."

What the hell had he done to deserve this! He glared at L as viciously as possible, but failed to even catch the detective's attention: Ryuuzaki had found a stray sugar lump and was busy recycling it.

"Yay! Thanks Ryuuzaki!" Misa's eyes lit up and she seized Raito in another awkward hug, made even more awkward by the fact that Raito anticipated it coming and tried to shuffle out of the way, only resulting in his being trapped at an even more uncomfortable angle. Breathing was optional, surely, he thought furiously around Misa's arms tight about his neck. This was going to call for vengeance. L was going to pay for leaving him alone with this obsessed fangirl. The only upside to having the handcuffs on had been the fact that this sort of thing _couldn't_ happen.

Another buzz on the intercom confirmed that a clean shirt had been dropped off in the nearest bathroom. L sighed and hopped out of his chair, not even bothering to straighten his legs until he hit the ground. Raito almost considered poking him with his foot, just to see if he'd overbalance, but wrote the thought off as even more immature than his earlier ones. Trooping out the room after L, looking for all the world like an unwilling dog being dragged towards a bath, Raito scuffed his feet on the carpet and glared at the floor. Misa bounced along beside him, chirping merrily. Raito could only wonder what on earth she thought she could fit into approximately thirty seconds of solitude while L changed his shirt behind a semi-closed door. Hell, he wondered if she even thought at all sometimes. He shot a pained look at L, who was ambling along ahead with far more demure an expression than one would usually attribute to a person who has just emptied a cup of scalding tea down themselves.

They reached the outside of the male toilets, at which point Misa halted with a look of disgust on her face. "I can't go in there!"

L turned and blinked at her. "Whyever not?"

She looked at him as if he had grown a third eye, "because it's a _boys'_ bathroom, stupid! Girls can't go in." Her voice was slower, as if speaking to someone with dementia, or a mental condition. L had neither. Nor did he have a clue as to what she was insinuating.

"Why would that be a problem?" he asked again, looking at Raito for help. "After all, it'll just be myself in there."

"Oh." Misa looked at the floor in embarrassment. Raito felt a little sorry for her, but then again, she had started it. L placed one hand on the smooth panel of the door, but stopped and rolled his eyes skywards, then gave Raito a funny look. Raito stared back at him. "What?"

L snorted softly, shaking his head. "Nothing." He pushed the bathroom door open and stepped abruptly inside, leaving Raito with nothing but an advanced case of confusion and a chronic airhead at his side. _What was _that_ all about?_

Misa grinned winningly at Raito, reaching for him to pull him into an affectionate hug. Possibly even more than that. Raito lifted his hands to press firmly back on her, keeping her at an arm's length. "Misa," he said gently, "we're in the middle of the hallway. This is neither the time nor place." _Nor person_.

She sighed, crestfallen. "Is Raito never going to have time to see Misa properly?" she asked sadly. One arm raised to pet Raito's hair, silver bangles jingling as she swept an errant bang from his eye. He tolerated it, but maintained the firm pressure on her upper arms. "I don't know, Misa. Not now. Not soon. But eventually." Reincarnation was eventually, wasn't it? She wasn't an offensive person. She just wasn't good at personal space.

A sudden yelp from the bathroom caught both their attentions.

"Ryuuzaki?" Raito called out, but anxiety gripped his throat and made the words little more than a hoarse mutter. He slammed his hand against the surface of the bathroom door, making it swing violently inwards. Most unfortunately, L was standing right behind it, and was caught by the arc of the door. Raito could only watch in horror as the lanky detective was knocked to the ground by the swinging wooden plane, sprawling onto the tiled floor with all of the dignity of an upended sack.

Raito swore, leaping into the bathroom to help Ryuuzaki back to his feet. "Sorry about that – you shouldn't have shouted. It caught me by surprise."

"Me too," replied L mildly. He seemed only slightly bemused to find himself on the ground. "This seems to be happening a lot, Raito-kun. I should like you to register and book all of my future trips to the floor before they happen. It's getting rather inconvenient. I haven't even lost the bruises from the last one, after all." He was prevented from increasing this list of demands and miscellaneous complaints by Raito striking him rather unsympathetically on the head with a nearby washcloth.

"Never mind about that", Misa was listening curiously, and Raito was critically aware of it, "What was the screaming about anyway?" He hastily tried to change the subject. Good grief, he really _was_ bad at this compassion thing.

"Ah, that…" L trailed off, face tinged with the pink of embarrassment. "It, ah, was nothing really. I sort of realised just how much the burn actually hurt, that was all. I think I might get that cold compress now." Raito calmly began to knead his forehead with his fingers. "Shall I say 'I told you so' now or later?"

"Later. And preferably when I'm not in the same room." L stumbled to his feet, Raito's hands on his arm by way of reassurance more than actual aid. He had at least managed to change shirts before his unpleasant discovery of the fact that he did in fact feel pain like other human beings. Misa clucked and fussed outside the room, "Come on! Misa doesn't want to wait outside a _boys'_ bathroom all day."

"Then Misa shouldn't wait," replied L calmly, choosing to walk over to the basin and soak the washcloth that Raito had hit him with under the cold tap. Raito watched mutely as L unbuttoned two thirds of his crisp shirt and placed the cloth flat against his skin. In the mirror he could see the angry red burn, vivid against Ryuuzaki's pallid colouration. For some reason, he felt his fingers spasm, as if seized with a longing to reach out and take the cloth from L and daub at the wound himself. How peculiar.

"But Misa wants to wait for Raito-kun," replied Misa determinedly. Raito refused to look at her. It wasn't as if she needed the encouragement to stay.

"Why do you want to wait for Raito-kun?" asked L demurely, removing the cloth and running it again under the water. "Does Misa not want to do anything else?" He replaced the cool, soaking fabric onto his chest with a wince. Raito suppressed a twitch. In the mirror he could see Misa lift one hand to her chin, as if considering the proposition.

"What else would Misa want to do?" she asked, "Misa loves Raito-kun, so Misa wants to be with Raito-kun. That's all there is to it." She grinned winsomely at Ryuuzaki, who watched her reflection stoically. He seemed to be considering something. Raito wondered what it was. Normally that look on L's face was soon followed by the recital of a new percentage of his likelihood of being Kira. He didn't like that face.

But L said nothing. He dumped the cloth in the sink, buttoned up his shirt and slouched out the bathroom, tugging Raito after him. Raito shuffled to keep up with the detective's retreating back. "You should do more than pour water on that," he reproached.

"I know," replied L, not even bothering to turn and look at Raito. "There's a first-aid kit in the office. I can get an ice pack out of the bar fridge as well." Talk about information that would have been useful to know earlier. Raito gritted his teeth. Why hadn't anyone told him about that previously? Did they think that Kira might be able to use antiseptic cream to escape handcuffs? Jeez. There was no start to the logic of this place. And this was the greatest detective in the world?

Dumping himself unceremoniously onto his swivel chair, Ryuuzaki tapped experimentally at his new keyboard, still wrapped in plastic. Watari had obviously gone all out and bought him a new one. Not that it would have been much of a stretch on the detective's salary. After all, if Raito's observations were anything to go by, L's sugar-rich diet had all the variation that his wardrobe and utensils lacked. And even then most of the food he consumed was strawberry based.

As Raito settled back to his chair, though his time with Misa perched on his desk like an extra from a dodgy movie, he fumbled around for his book whilst keeping an eye on the detective. L had abandoned the keyboard and was rifling through yet another cavernous filing cabinet. Piles of loose and fatally-boring paper stacked up all around him. He could hardly see the detective's head as it was buried even deeper into the depths of the drawer systems. Finally he emerged, clutching a couple of books and a small tin box. The first aid kit.

"Do you need a hand?" asked Raito lazily. Ryuuzaki shrugged, pulling off the lid of the kit and staring pensively into its contents. "Shouldn't be too hard," he replied. "After all, it seems relatively straightforward: apply painful things to an area that it already painful and everything will be alright." He made a face, fishing out a pile of gauze pads and a rather suspicious looking tube of antiseptic cream.

"Misa can help," announced Misa suddenly, much to Raito's surprise. L glanced up, obviously taken aback. "I'm fine, thank you, Amane-san."

"Misa will cut the gauze," she shook her head and flapped her hand at L as if shooing away a seagull, rather than declining a refusal from the most famous detective on the planet. "You put the antiseptic on and I'll give you the bandage." She got to work in a businesslike fashion, neatly snipping thick squares out of the wads.

L hesitated, and then seemed to give in. A smart move, thought Raito silently. "Thank you, Amane-san. Your kindness is much appreciated." His words were stiffly formal, as if he weren't entirely sure how they operated. Now that Raito thought about it, he couldn't remember the last time he had actually heard L thank someone, or indeed, be muscled into letting something happen. Except for that time with the door. And the chair. End of thought train.

"Misa doesn't do this for Ryuuzaki," admonished Misa warningly, waving a pair of rubber-tipped scissors in one hand. "Misa does this because Misa knows that Raito-kun likes Ryuuzaki. Misa knows. Misa can tell."

Raito flushed, and buried his head into a convenient file to avoid the stare that he knew L was giving him. From the mouths of innocents… Misa couldn't possibly have known just what her words implied. Especially in the context of the last few days.

"Amane-san knows Yagami-kun well," answered Ryuuzaki smoothly. "In that case, I am glad that Yagami-kun views me with such high regard." Raito could have sworn that his face had just started glowing with as much heat as Ryuuzaki's burnt stomach.

"I have something for Amane-san," said L suddenly. Raito took the risk of having his blush observed by looking up. Well _this_ was unheard of. He watched incredulously as L lifted a thick paperback from the pile of books that he had extracted from the paper mine along with the first aid kit.

Curiously, Misa reached out and gingerly took the book from L's spidery fingers. "What is it?"

L blinked owlishly back at her. "I don't think you've ever read anything like it before. It is very educational. Very useful. I think that you would benefit from it, and so would Yagami-kun." At that, Misa's eyes lit up like sparklers and she clutched the book tightly to her chest.

"Thank you, Ryuuzaki!" She positively beamed at the dazed detective before turning to Raito and capturing him in a reluctant hug. "Misa will go and read this book from cover to cover! You can count on it!" With that, she disappeared in a twirling whirlwind of perfume and gothic jewellery. Raito heaved a sigh of relief, before turning to L, curiosity getting the better of him.

"What book was that precisely? I hope it wasn't some…manual…"

L blinked at him as if confused. "What do you mean by that, Yagami-kun?"

"Never mind," Raito hastily changed the subject, relatively confident that Ryuuzaki wasn't the kind of person to keep a book akin to the Karma Sutra kicking around his office. "It was good of you to give her that book, though."

L flashed a small smile, "thank you, Yagami-kun." He dropped a dollop of chilly antiseptic onto his stomach with a shudder and massaged it into the inflamed skin. "I'm sure that she will be different from now on having read that book." He stared ruefully down at his scorched belly and reached for the pile of gauze strips and tape.

"What was it called?"

"_The Female Eunuch_ I believe. Written by Germaine Greer. Heard of her?"

Oh. Good. Lords. "You gave her a rabid feminist text?"

"I thought that she could benefit from it."

Raito lifted his hands to his temples. This could only get more awkward. "It was a kind thought, I suppose." How did this guy's brain operate? Giving Misa a feminist text was like literally throwing a spanner in the mechanisms of a train. Who knew how it would turn out…

L nodded absentmindedly, mouth full of sticky tape. Raito rolled his eyes in annoyance. "You're making a mess of that bandage, you know."

"I suppose I am," he replied, mumbling around a mouthful of surgical tape. "After all, I am not exactly accustomed to throwing hot drinks down myself, let alone dealing with the consequences." A piece of tape became attached to his tongue as he made the foolish attempt to speak. A look of distaste crossed L's face as he reached to pull the offending strip away, affixing it with an irritated stare in the process of extraction.

"For some bizarre reason, I noticed that," responded Raito dryly. "Give it here, you're giving me a headache with that awful mess of a job." He surged out of his chair and snatched the gauze wads and roll of tape from the detective's loose grip. L sighed and desisted. "I'm not good at wrapping things. Not even myself."

"Hold still," chided Raito by way of an answer. Peeling away the excess tape, he smoothed the gauze wraps and began anew with fresh strips. "You seem to have gone about this as if you were sealing a box of china. Tape is not a second skin, understand? Nor is it a renewable resource. You don't need to use so much of it." He was babbling, insofar as he ever babbled. There was something tickling at the back of his mind. Something like pleasure, but not. He was… enjoying doing L this favour. It was strangely reassuring to be helping him in this way. How very odd.

"Hai," replied L in a bored voice. He was craning his arms over the top of Raito's head in order to reach the keyboard. It was at that moment that Raito noticed just where he was located. He was kneeling on the floor. Seated in between L's knees. His hands were inside L's shirt. There was no one else in the room.

"What's wrong, Raito-kun?" asked L placidly as the other teen suddenly withdrew, hurriedly finishing his handiwork and scrambling back onto his stool as if it were a flotation device in the middle of a raging ocean. Raito shook his head rapidly, shaking himself mentally in the process. _What the hell was his problem?_ L didn't have a problem with his being there. He had just been helping out an injured friend, nothing more, and nothing less.

"Nothing? That's alright then," replied L to Raito's silent response. "It's probably just as well. I am rather ticklish, and it might have looked a little odd on the security cameras." Raito stared at him in shock. L raised one hand to his chin, staring at the ceiling as if struck with a sudden thought. "Hm. I can only _imagine_ what kind of shot the cameras in the back of the room got just now… Yagami-kun, please don't do that. You're making the desk shake."

Raito ignored him. Hitting his head off the desk had to be better than dealing with the thoughts that it was presenting him with.


	7. Chapter 7

Wild-filly: Good grief… thanks for the response to the last chapter

Disclaimer: wild-filly does not own Death Note, or even _a_ Death Note. She doesn't own Raito, and as far as she's concerned, you're welcome to him. She would dearly love to own L, but sadly that's not a forthcoming gift.

…………

Mind Games

Chapter Seven: …Only delays the inevitable

…………..

_Don't stray, don't ever go away_

_I should be much too smart for this,_

_You know it gets the better of me sometimes_

_Oh here I go, losing my control_

_I'm practising your name so I can _

_Say it to your face, _

_It doesn't seem right_

_To look you in the eye, let all the things you mean to me_

_Come tumbling out my mouth_

"What kind of a philistine puts carrot in a muffin?" Raito looked up in surprise at L's sudden outburst. The lanky detective was staring at a bitten muffin with something almost approaching contempt. He seemed affronted by its very existence, clutched there between his spidery fingers.

"Because they're trying to boost its sagging health quota," replied Raito, bemused. "Most people are glad to see the word 'carrot' on a muffin because it makes them feel less guilty about eating the sugary concoction."

"Ah, but you see, that's not a problem for me," explained L, examining the muffin as if it were some kind of new and potentially dangerous animal. "When I eat a muffin, I know what kind of dietary trouble I'm getting into. I don't want to see pseudo-healthy ingredients like _carrot_ in my food. If I wanted health food, I wouldn't have eaten anything at all. I'd have made a few phone calls."

"Why?"

"Because I would be delirious and possibly near death."

"Ah." Raito shook his head with amusement and turned back to the latest document he was scanning. My, Kira _had_ been busy. Let that be a lesson to L and his stupid handcuffs. Mind, Raito still wasn't sure if he was that upset about having to wear the handcuffs. After all, it was a perfect excuse to hang around the detective 24/7 and complain mercilessly in the process. Plus, Ryuuzaki couldn't accuse him of being a stalker, since _he_ was the one who started it.

Ah the joys of double standards.

Raito shook his head. He and L had been handcuffed together for ages now. He had almost forgotten what it was like to be able to use his other hand freely. Not to mention what it was like to sleep without waking with a jolt every couple of hours just to check that he hadn't rolled into a compromising position and was about to be laughed at.

Not that L ever laughed at him. He just… looked at him with that funny expression in his eyes, with that watery facial twist that could be neutrality or a suppressed smirk. Raito didn't like it. He didn't hate it either. Much like what he was wondering about L in general. Didn't just like him, didn't hate him, but at the same time _couldn't stand_ aspects of him.

"Do you mind?" The question caught Raito's attention, and he looked up from the unattractive paper stack. He stared. L was perched on his chair with a plate of chocolate cake balanced on his knees. A fork was poised over the sticky mass of heart-attack-inducing foodstuff. He looked at Raito pointedly. "Well?"

"Do I mind what?" Raito blinked in wonderment. "You want me to cut it for you?"

"Forget it," L rolled his eyes and with no further ado, plunged the fork into the chocolaty mass, spearing a sizeable chunk and delicately chewing on the morsel with a look of rare bliss on his face. "That's much better than stupid carrot muffin," he mumbled morosely, glaring at the rejected breakfast and flicking the fork in its direction demonstratively.

Raito snorted, flicking his current page absentmindedly. "You're the only person I know who makes a breakfast of chocolate cake, Ryuuzaki. How can you stand that stuff?"

"It's tough, but I steel myself through the process." Another forkful of chocolate cake disappeared. L lifted his hand to his mouth, aimlessly brushing away a couple of stray crumbs and neatly picking them off his hand, placing them on the plate. Raito couldn't help it. He stopped working and watched. There was a peculiar grace about the way that L ate the cake. The fork would sink into icing, and then withdraw, as if he were testing the surface. Then he would spear it more deeply, pushing the chunk from side to side so that it would come away cleanly. The fork would skilfully slide off to one side, to catch the piece of cake as it began to topple like a buckling tree at the mercy of the woodcutter's axe. In an instant it was raised to L's lips, and he easily engulfed the morsel, without even smearing his teeth with the sticky icing. Glossy white teeth clicked shut, pale lips closing over his mouth, hiding them from view again as he chewed quietly.

"Is there something on my face?"

"Two eyes, two eyebrows, a nose and a mouth," replied Raito reflexively. He blinked, breaking the stare and affixing his attention on L, who was looking at him sceptically. "What?"

"If you wanted the cake, you only had to say," L reasoned. "I did offer you the option of saying something. There's no need for you to try to make me feel guilty about eating it."

"Why would I do that?" asked Raito, confused. Why would he be so worried about a piece of cake?

"Well, it _is_ the last bit of your birthday cake."

"You bastard!" exclaimed Raito, making L jump guiltily. "You took my last piece of cake without even warning me?" Not that he particularly liked the cake in the first place, but _still_, it was completely below the belt to do that. Something to do with primitive territorial instincts. Raito was disgusted with himself the instant the rebuke burst from his throat.

"I did ask if I could have it," pointed out L, easily getting over his jolt at Raito's outburst. "After all, ordinarily I wouldn't have even bothered with that courtesy. Besides, you didn't seem to like the cake the first time it came around, so why would now be any different?"

"It's my cake all the same," replied Raito, "childish though that excuse may be, it's still a valid one."

"I suppose," conceded L, lifting another forkful of cake to his mouth nonchalantly. Raito snorted. For someone supposedly so abashed, L was doing a great job at ignoring the issue and continuing to stuff his face. It was almost as if he had staged the entire conversation in his head before he even started eating. Almost as if he knew exactly how Raito would react to the discovery that it was his cake that was being attacked.

That thought was annoying. Very, _very_ annoying. Raito did not like being anticipated by anyone, least of all L. Just how much was he being led around by this guy? For someone so suspicious and apparently incapable of ironing a shirt, L was one tricky character to anticipate. Half the time, Raito wasn't entirely sure who was fooling whom.

"How do you organise anarchists?"

"Come again?" Raito was distracted from his irritation momentarily as L threw the question into the open, balancing the fork between his thumb and forefinger pensively.

"I asked, 'how do you organise anarchists'? The very notion of being organised is against the principles of being an anarchist, yet somehow they always seem to turn up at the same anti-organisational rallies. Their alliances must be off."

Raito gritted his teeth. "Why should I care about what makes anarchists tick? _I'm_ not an anarchist." _Quite the opposite, really_. "They rebel against any and every form of authority. I don't see how the world could operate like that."

"Quite," L shot a look at him. "You believe that the world needs authority, Yagami-kun?"

There was that warning; the use of his surname, coupled with a slant at Kira-like traits. Raito stiffened and shook his head lightly, face breaking into an easy grin and eyes closing slightly. "Well, it needs something doesn't it? Anarchy didn't work in the dark ages. Democracy isn't always the best system, but it's the closest thing we've got to a system working properly at the moment."

L nodded imperceptibly, eyes careful and still fixed on his own. Raito cursed mentally. How could he have been so stupid to let L's supposedly glib remark bring out his not-so-inner megalomaniac? Never mind. He had cleared it up. He was sure of it. Almost 85 percent sure of it.

"That doesn't answer my question. Do anarchists really hold their own principles that loosely, or do they ask people to herd them together so that they all attend the same anti-organisational rally?"

"Frankly, Ryuuzaki, I don't know, and I couldn't care less."

"I figured as much. It was a rhetorical question anyway." L rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the computer screen.

Then it clicked. Raito blinked and sat up a little straighter. "You're bored?"

"I never said that."

"You asked me a stupid question to break the monotony, didn't you?"

"You have no grounds for that assumption."

"You're as sick of this paper shuffling as I am."

"Those are your words, not mine."

"Would you please answer my accusations directly?"

"Not on your life."

Raito didn't even bother suppressing the growl this time. One hand crunched his page tightly, shredding through the cheap paper as easily as a pair of blunt scissors. The urge to reach out and wring the spindly detective's neck was becoming almost oppressively strong. "Ryuuzaki. It's hard enough for me to focus on this case with you handcuffed to me, let alone you being childish." He hissed the words through gritted teeth.

L snorted, wide eyes lidded as if with great fatigue. "You are not focusing very much at the moment at all, if I might say so, Yagami-kun. I'm sure that the owners of the chess website are grateful for your patronage though. And I assure you that I am just as strained with sharing every waking moment with you handcuffed to me."

It was times like this that Raito was glad that the rest of the team didn't have anything approaching his and L's stamina for the investigation. Otherwise they'd be having an extremely worried audience to their little dispute.

L pouted, perching his folded arms on top of his knees, empty cake plate now rehoused on top of the keyboard. Raito glared at him, and L returned the favour somewhere beneath his heavy black bangs. Two geniuses finally suffering from cabin fever. How utterly amusing. Watari would have a field day when he did his checks of the security camera footage.

"We need to have a break." L blinked at Raito's words.

"We shouldn't do that," he replied, shaking his head sternly. "This case is not going to solve itself, Yagami-kun. Kira continues to claim new victims, so we cannot stop our work. Not now. Not until Kira is brought to justice."

"I never said that we had to stop the investigation," replied Raito patiently, clasping his hands together and leaning forwards, catching L's eyes with an earnest look. "I'm just saying that we're both not used to working at our maximum whilst literally attached to other people. Let's take a break to cool off and then come back to what we're doing. Everyone else is doing the same. Everyone else does it _every day_. We can spare an hour or so, surely?"

"We take up too much time with you sleeping as it is," grumbled L by way of response, staring mulishly at his computer as if expecting it to rebuke him for even listening to Raito's suggestion.

"Well we aren't all insomniacs," answered Raito, drawing on his limited reserves of patience even further. He wasn't sure how much more of this they could maintain. Normally he'd have stalked off in a huff by now, or changed tact and surprised whoever was annoying him. Not that he had these options here. L was too cunning not to notice the personality switch, and any retreat would only result in dragging a complaining detective after him.

"One hour," he waved the offer in front of L again. "Just one hour. It can even be something vaguely related to the case." His mind raced as he sought an option that might catch L's interest. Ah wait, what was the program they'd studied in English language class a while back? A criminal one? Surely it'd be on one of the multitudes of channels on the advanced television sets that cluttered the outskirts of the investigation headquarters.

Ah, that was it. "I know of a television program. A western one. It's called 'Law and Order', or something like that. How about we watch that?"

L stared at him owlishly. "You're serious?"

"Of course I'm serious. When was the last time you heard me joke about something?" Raito clenched his fists as he saw L's eyes slide skywards as the detective tried to recall the aforementioned event. "Come on. One hour. That's all. You can beat the actors to the answer as well, if you like."

L glanced back at him, a faintly smug express writ among his pallid features. "I daresay I'd do that anyway."

"Let's make it a competition then."

And oh how Raito was going to regret those words.

A scanning of the channels revealed that the suggested police program was not in fact airing at the moment. Raito sat back and watched with some amusement as L searched a variety of computer sites, eventually finding a file-sharing system with which to download a selection of episodes.

"That's called stealing, you know." Raito chided the detective from where he was sitting on the low couch, dragged out from a nearby room to make viewing the floor-based television set easier. Technically it would have been easier to move the television to a vantage point closer to their computer chairs, over even better; _moving the chairs_; but Raito was quite keen to spend a bit of time out of the wretched device. Too many hours had been whittled away on it for his liking.

"And as a suspect murderer, you're no one to talk," responded L in a monotone, brows knit as he surveyed the progress of the download. Raito shut up and glared at the back of L's head. And this was the person that he thought he had feelings for? Maybe he needed to find a psychiatrist. Unravelling a doctor's well-educated brain with his own complexities should be soothing for his rattled mind. Not to mention it appealed to his sense of petty vengeance.

"Done," grunted L. A twisted trail of cables transmitted the newly downloaded episode onto the television screen, flickering to life with a crackle of static. Without a glance at Raito, L dumped himself unceremoniously onto the couch beside the mutinous teenager, tucking his knees up to his chest reflexively and affixing the television with a sceptical stare. "This had better be worth it, Raito-kun."

Raito rolled his eyes, too irritated to respond. How could L insult him and then sit so comfortably next to him? Partially on _his_ seat cushion as well, no less. He would never understand this guy.

He also kind of wished that L didn't seem so comfortable sitting next to him. He didn't know what it was, but something about it made him…itch. Not the flea-ridden kind of itch, but a feeling of awkwardness under his skin. How aggravating.

It was all Ryuuzaki's fault.

Funnily enough, Raito observed, L seemed to be more enraptured with the plotline of the program than himself. True, he _had_ only suggested it to get a much-deserved break from feigning studiousness, but all the same… it was a little unnerving to watch L stare unblinkingly at something else for a change. He shrugged mentally, attention flickering back to the screen. It wasn't that bad for a television show. Not that the culprit behind the murders wasn't pitifully apparent.

"You've figured it out, Raito-kun?" L's question took him a little by surprise.

"Of course," replied Raito. "It's the blonde woman with the attitude problem." _Obviously_.

L pursed his lips, thumbnail pinched in between his front teeth. He stared thoughtfully at the screen, still tightly hunched on the couch as if it were a melting iceberg and he was striving to avoid the encroaching ocean. "Hm. Why do you say that, Raito-kun?"

"You don't agree?" The competitive streak in Raito roared to the surface. "All of the evidence points to her, so who else could it be? The ex-husband is too much of a cliché to be the one," he snapped defensively.

"I suppose," noted L, "however you're forgetting that clichés are more often than not based on reality. His actions are far more suspicious than hers. Not to mention her motive is a little shaky."

"You don't always need a motive to commit a crime. You're forgetting about the psychopaths."

L raised one eyebrow. "I can assure you, Raito-kun, that I most certainly _cannot_ forget the psychopaths.'

Charming. Raito shook himself mentally, changing the subject to avoid letting his ire stoke itself up too high. "We're arguing over a TV show, Ryuuzaki. I think we're missing the basic point here."

"No, we're taking a break from the Kira case whilst also keeping our minds sharp," corrected L, attention wavering from the television momentarily as he reached back to fluff up the seat cushion behind his back. "And I'm telling you it's the ex-husband."

"Who made you the lead authority on this?" The question burst into the open just as Raito cursed inwardly, wanting to retract it. L looked up at the ceiling and began counting on his fingers out loud, brow furrowed with concentration. "Let's see… the state US police forces, the FBI, the CIA, the regional British police forces, Scotland Yard-"

"-I get it, okay," Raito interrupted him in mid-list-turned-ego-trip. "Stupid question. It was supposed to be rhetorical." He hesitated, not wanting to ruin Ryuuzaki's unusually amiable mood towards not working. "I just reckon that you should consider the blonde a bit more. She's hiding something, and she definitely has a reason to want the first victim dead."

"If you're wrong, then you owe me a strawberry gateau."

"You're on. And if I'm right, _you_ will take the handcuffs off."

L smirked slightly. "I like the gateau they sell near the supermarket. It's remarkably good quality, though slightly more expensive than what I usually send Watari for."

Raito gritted his teeth. "No need to get so cocky. You haven't won yet."

Unfortunately, the key word in that declaration turned out to be "yet". Kira case apparently forgotten, both L and Raito sat hunched on the couch, staring intently at the small screen, episodes reeling off continuously. So far Raito was on one win and four losses, and owed L one strawberry gateau, one box of authentic French éclairs (preferably ordered from a cordon-bleu chef), a black forest cake, and as many bags of marshmallows as there were episodes still downloading (at last count twenty-six). Not that Raito minded so much. He'd been promised fifteen minutes of handcuff-free time, provided that it was in a confined room. No better opportunity for a shower without the complementary detective lurking around outside the door.

My, how low his priorities had sunk. It was almost depressing.

"This time, Raito-kun, when I win you're going to owe me a box of fudge brownies from the American bakery four streets away." L rocked back on his heels, flushed with mild exhilaration at their competition. His eyes were wide with concentration, yet also writ with something approaching glee. The one loss had barely rattled him, primarily because he had spent most of that episode fighting with a bakery over the phone, trying to confirm that Raito could in fact acquire the promised éclairs.

"You haven't won yet," replied Raito automatically. But he couldn't help grinning as he clicked on the newest episode. "So when _I _win, I'm going to have an entire night without the handcuffs."

"Dream on," scoffed L in a most uncharacteristically childish way. It was amusing Raito to no end to see his rival in such a relaxed state. The suspicion and guarded nature of the detective's demeanour had almost entirely lapsed. This new Ryuuzaki was… almost normal. Insofar as someone perched like an owl on a couch, currently chewing his way through a bag of fairy floss as he made authoritative statements about the conclusion of a primetime television show could be considered normal. It was awakening a bizarre strand of affection in Raito's mind. At the moment, he wanted nothing more than to just let L win, to see his eyes light up with pleasure and turn to his rival for a 'hard-earned' gloat. The temptation to drape one arm over the intent detective was almost impossible to ignore. But somehow, he had to do it.

Why?

Good question. Raito nipped his lower lip uncertainly, attention divided half-heartedly between the drama unfolding on the television screen and the potential drama between himself and the spidery youth sitting next to him. Would Ryuuzaki mind if he tried to do that one, small gesture? He'd done worse after all.

What would happen?

"Before you say anything," L spoke suddenly, making Raito jump. "I know it's the shop-keeper, so don't bother saying its his son."

Raito laughed forcibly. "That's not fair. It could well be him. He works in the warehouse, so he had every chance."

"But it would have been easier for the father to get out of the building and head over there," pointed out L, eyes flickering to Raito meaningfully. His thumb was still pinched between his teeth, making the words slightly incomprehensible. "It would then only be a matter of strolling over to the cargo to get the victim."

"What about his motive? Why would he possibly want to do such a thing?"

L shrugged slightly, "who knows? Some people are just compelled. Most of the time they've had a long time to build up a solid reason. Other times, they've just been thrown into the scenario against their will and are reacting purely in response to the sudden change. Aggression is compelled by many things, so it's hard to narrow everything down into concrete groups."

"I see." Not really. He hadn't been paying the slightest bit of attention to what L was saying. He was too busy staring. That weird, oddly warm itch had started again. It was crawling under his skin and in his stomach. Butterflies? How degrading. That didn't happen to _him_.

So why was it happening now?

Stupid thought, Raito, he thought savagely. He had issues. He really did. Ones other than being a mass murderer with a god-complex, of course. Those were relatively simple and unembarrassing compared to this one.

"Are you okay, Raito-kun?" L frowned, dark eyes narrowing slightly. He turned away completely from the TV, facing Raito, pale hands perched lightly on the top of his knees. He affixed the other teen with a quizzical stare. "You haven't made another prediction yet. You've gone very quiet in general."

"I'm okay," said Raito hesitantly. _Should I?_

L shook his head, thick black bangs swishing in front of his eyes. "Don't lie to me, Raito. It's degrading for us both."

Raito sighed. Might have guessed his half-truths wouldn't stand up to close scrutiny. "I'm not lying, Ryuuzaki. I'm just confused."

"This isn't one of the harder cases," remarked L. But somehow he seemed to realise what Raito was talking about. "Talk it out, Raito-kun. Things usually make more sense if you talk about them out loud. Or if you have something sweet. Both work."

Making a face at the proposal of a dessert to fix all of his social problems, Raito rolled his eyes. "It's not that simple, Ryuuzaki. I can't find the right words to phrase it, so I'd rather keep it internal for a while until I'm eloquent enough to describe it."

L blinked, "very well." His voice was slow, and his attention wavered back to the television set. "If you don't want to speak of it, then we should probably go back to work. We've had a much longer break than I intended."

It was now or never, thought Raito desperately. He reached out and grabbed Ryuuzaki's shoulder, making the other youth flinch in surprise. Wide black eyes flew to Raito's, gaze questioning and slightly… fearful? That fear tore at Raito as if L had set a knife to his skin. Why would he be afraid?

"Raito-kun…" L trailed off, expression worried. "You shouldn't-"

Raito's hand snapped back as if burned. He couldn't suppress the look of hurt that bubbled to the surface of his features. _What did this mean? _Mouth sliding open slightly, words died on his tongue as the door handle rattled.

"Ryuuzaki! Yagami-kun! We're back!" Matsuda's cheerful greeting rang through the room, breaking the atmosphere as effectively as a sledgehammer. The younger policeman stumbled into the office, starting slightly at the sight of the world's most famous detective and police chief's son sitting on a battered couch in front of a TV, rather than diligently sifting through case files. "What's going on here? You two are bailing on work?" Matsuda's voice was a combination of reproachful and delighted.

"Raito?" His father's voice joined Matsuda's, and the older man came slowly into view, face etched with fatigue and surprise at the scene he now witnessed.

L unfolded himself from the couch, slouching over to the bar fridge, hauling a stunned Raito after him. "It's about time the rest of the team showed up," he admonished the startled Matsuda and Yagami-san. "Yagami-kun and I were beginning to wonder if you'd given up for the day, but you both made so much noise clattering down the hall that I figured you weren't _that_ lazy."

"Of course we hadn't, Ryuuzaki," insisted Raito's father, as Matsuda looked ever-so-slightly sheepish. He lifted a massive sheaf of papers. "A historian who contacted us with some documents possibly relevant to the source of Kira's power failed to show up on time. When she eventually showed, the papers were so decomposed that we had to wait for her to make new copies and translations. It hadn't occurred to her to do that _before_ she came to see us."

L nodded passively, wandering over to the chief to accept the stack. Raito followed him numbly. _Was that why L had pushed him away? _Had he heard Matsuda and his father returning? Did he have the hearing of a cat or something? He hoped that it was true. But what if it wasn't?

He'd just have to try again later and find out.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Don't own Death Note, but would dearly love to

Disclaimer: Don't own Death Note, but would dearly love to.

Should I be cruel and say that this chapter contains lemon…and raspberry cream pie? Idea courtesy of websurffer!

……………

Mind Games: Chapter Eight

One Good Reason

……………..

_If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened,_

_If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would have been able to control myself_

_If it weren't for my attentions you wouldn't have been successful, and if_

_If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much._

_Oh, this could get messy_

_But you don't seem to mind,_

_Oh, don't go telling everybody,_

_And cover up this supposed crime._

In Yagami Raito's opinion, there were a great many holidays that the world could do without. Take Christmas for example. It was an over-commercialised, economically focussed celebration of corporate greed, masquerading under the glitzy ruse of spreading worldwide goodwill and seasonal cheer. Once upon a time, it had been a time of fasting and moral uprightness, with absolutely no gifts or enjoyment involved. Not that Raito would have enjoyed that much more, but at least it would have _meant _something. Christmas was supposedly a happy and spirited time of year. Provided that the woman ahead of you in the queue didn't take four hours to unload her trolley of festive gifts and wrappings onto the counter. And that young couple didn't take that last model toy your brat had been whining for all year. And that you didn't spend most of Christmas morning sulking in a pile of completely unwanted gifts, and not speaking to at least three members of the family due to related spats and squabbles under the Christmas tree.

No. Raito was not a good one for holidays that were celebrated on an international level with a decreasing level of understanding of just what the original significance of the holiday once was. Christmas, however, was not the current bane of his existence.

It was another, far more annoying, far more personal, holiday.

"Happy Valentine's day, Raito-kun!" A high-pitched squeal on the same sound level as a supersonic jet, and with every inch the same intrusive presence in the small office, made itself welcome. Misa Amane burst into the office, clutching a basket of red, pink and white wrapped chocolates, all of which were shaped like hearts and guaranteed to leave most every member of the opposite sex shifting awkwardly in their seats and looking for a convenient exit. Sadly, since Raito was handcuffed to a detective who had a passion for sweets, this option was not available to him.

"Misa," started Raito weakly, "it was Valentine's day _ages_ ago. Before my birthday. Surely you remember that?" He glared out the corner of his eye at L. The spindly detective had actually stopped his frantic touch-typing for long enough to ogle the basket of sugary confections with something akin to delight, completely ignoring its bearer.

"Of course Misa remembers!" chirped the miniature Gothic model cheerfully. "But Misa was not able to come to Raito that day! It was hard, and it tore Misa up inside, so Misa decided to celebrate Valentine's on a different day. Misa didn't want Raito to feel left out and unloved…"

Now _that_ was something Misa had no possibility of fixing. Raito growled under his breath, rubbing his temples with the tips of his fingers in an attempt to stave off the headache that was already well and truly setting up residence in his skull. Staring balefully at the ecstatic young woman, Raito sighed inwardly and tried to think of a polite way to tell her to get out of his life and leave the basket for the detective who he honestly found less irritating than her.

Wait… he found L less irritating than Misa? When had he made that decision?

Let's see… one is stubborn, won't leave him alone, makes demands of him that he doesn't like, dresses in a strange manner, likes foods that he, Raito, dislikes, has strange speech and social mannerisms… hang on a minute. He couldn't even remember which one he had started off describing now.

"You shouldn't have worried yourself so, Misa," coaxed Raito, lowering his hands and plastering a pseudo-sincere smile onto his face. "I'm under no illusions as to the extent of your feelings for me." _Nor is anyone else who works in this building, or has spoken to you for more than four minutes._ "You needn't have stressed yourself so much. And anyway, I thought that it was a boy-gives-the-girl-gifts holiday." Not that Raito cared overly much to research Western equivalents to Japanese holidays. White day was bad enough as it was.

"But Misa wasn't stressed at all! Misa _wanted_ to do this for Raito, so she did!" The young model nodded appreciatively in L's direction, a broad smile still lighting her youthful face. "The book that Ryuuzaki gave me was very instructive. The author said some strange things every so often, but the message was clear. It told me that I too should be more proactive about the things that I want! There's no reason why I should wait for you, Raito-kun, to give me permission to do these things! I want to make Raito feel loved, so I will!"

It was official. L had reclaimed possession of the throne of 'Person most likely to be stabbed to death with a blunt object'.

L himself looked a little perturbed. "You have read diligently, but perhaps you missed the, ah, _larger_ meaning behind Greer's book, Amane-san. She argues that females should not have to be dependent on the approval of males."

"Exactly!" replied Misa, grinning broadly. "So I'm going to come and see Raito-kun more and more to show him how much he means to me, without or without your approval, or his! It only makes sense after all, since I am his girlfriend and all." She set the basket down on the desk beside Raito's computer, fluffing out her skirt. Raito noticed for the first time that her usual black and white ensemble with skull motifs had been replaced with a puffy black and red dress, leaving little to the imagination and heart-shaped decorations everywhere the imagination was barred. This had to go down in history as one of the worst plans to ever backfire. By the look on L's face, he hadn't expected that kind of interpretation to come from Amane-san.

"If Amane-san wants to come and see you more often, Yagami-kun, you should arrange to speak to her more frequently," commented L dryly. "The investigation will not continue at any great speed if she is continually in and out of the room in the light of her new-found confidence." He sounded somewhat annoyed. Not that Raito blamed him. 'Somewhat' didn't go far enough to describe how annoyed Raito personally was feeling at the moment.

"Don't talk to me as if I'm not here!" flared Misa, glaring at L resentfully. "You gave me the stupid book suggesting that I'd learn something from it, and I have!"

"You missed the message I was getting at…" trailed off L softly. Then he stopped, with something approaching disgust flitting across his face. Frowning, the detective slowly levelled his stare at the basket of chocolate and then turned away. With barely a pause, he returned to typing, staring intently at the screen as if something of great intrigue had just caught his attention.

Raito shook his head in amazement, eyes wide with something that had mutated out of shock, annoyance and a kind of warmth originating somewhere in the bowels of flattery. Was it just him, or had L tried to get Misa to move off? Why? He wasn't annoyed by Misa clinging to Raito all the time was he? Or did he just want rid of her from the investigation room? Questions, questions… and none of them likely to be answered at any time soon, if his ability to read Misa's facial expression was anything as good as his ability to engage in mass murder whilst working alongside the lead detective in the case against himself.

"Who cares?" Misa waved her hand dismissively at the pallid detective. "I'm here to see Raito, not _you_ Ryuuzaki."

"I could fix a video phone for the two of you to communicate through," continued L sullenly, still completely fixated on the computer and almost pointedly not looking at either Raito or Misa. "You could speak to Yagami-kun through a microphone directly into a headset, that way you two could stay in contact and leave the rest of us to work in peace." Raito could only stare in amazement as Ryuuzaki's normally bland expression took on an even blanker demeanour, leaning in with pensive grace to focus more intently on his work.

Was that…perhaps it was. It couldn't be… Was L _jealous_ of Misa?

"What's wrong, Raito-kun?" Misa's anxious voice permeated his skull regardless of his decision to ignore her temporarily. "You've gone all pale." There was a rustling of papers and a fat wedge of chocolate was pushed into his hands. He blinked and glanced down at it. Another stupid love-heart. He looked up at Misa, curious. "What?"

At her concerned expression, he hastily feigned nonchalance. "I'm fine Misa, don't worry. Just a little tired from work, that's all." He sighed, placing the chocolate heart with a clunk onto the spotless desk. "It's a very kind gesture you've made, but I'm afraid that today isn't a good time for it. I'm very grateful for the effort that's gone into this present, but I'll have to ask you to leave."

Misa sighed, red and gold chandeliers of jewellery clinking as she visibly wilted. "That's okay, Raito-kun. Misa understands. Misa just wanted to give you her present for Valentines. Maybe next time Misa sees Raito, Raito will have a present for Misa too?" She affixed her most charming expression on him, lips pursed and eyes beseeching. Gods… it was like kicking a puppy, it really was. Why did life have to be so hard?

"Maybe, yes," he nodded reassuringly, all the while mentally rolling his eyes and wondering where he'd last seen the packet of aspirin. "I'll see you soon Misa, don't worry."

"Tomorrow!" Misa's eyes lit up like Catherine wheels, leaning forwards to seize both of Raito's hands and clasp them within her own. Raito squirmed internally, but forced a grin onto his face and nodded stiffly in response. Humouring her would get rid of her quickly. Maybe after she was gone he could gauge just what Ryuuzaki was thinking. With a yelp of delight, Misa sprang backwards and out the door of the office, pausing just long enough to flash the shaken youth a wide grin and a wave before she disappeared.

Raito sat back in his chair with a sigh, loud enough to suggest that he'd just finished running a marathon and had barely survived the process. Nobody seemed to be paying him any attention though, which suited him fine. He didn't especially fancy catching Matsuda's sympathetic, yet wickedly encouraging eye, which was nevertheless still trying desperately to catch his attention. Idiots. He was surrounded by idiots. He was even related to one of them.

Well, one of them wasn't so much of an idiot, and that was mostly the problem. Ryuuzaki was still typing like a whirlwind, spidery digits a blur over the keyboard and eyes riveted to the screen. Raito shot a surreptitious glance over the lanky youth's shoulder. Had he found something useful to the case that was about to make his life miserable, or was he trying to pretend not to be put out by the visit from Misa? He couldn't tell. There was something unnervingly misleading about Ryuuzaki's body language at times. He couldn't tell if he was being deliberately or coincidentally apparent in his emotions. Half the time he couldn't even tell where the detective was truly naïve, or just trying to make him feel awkward.

Damn. The website was all in French. Raito hadn't learned enough of the language independently to make a reliable translation. Cursing inwardly, he stared apprehensively at the massive gift basket. It was a white wicker basket wrapped with heavy velvet and white and red satin ribbons, dipped in gold glitter. Little chocolate hearts, wrapped in red, pink and white foil filled it to the brim, offset with some larger chocolates that were individually wrapped and complete with iced messages of assorted nonsensical declarations of adoration, fidelity and everything else he had no interest in. With a snort of disgust, he seized the hamper and hauled it to the floor, shoving it under the desk with every demonstration of disinterest. One eye carefully examined L for any sign of a reaction.

Tapping absentmindedly at his keyboard, Raito frowned slightly to note that L hadn't relaxed at all. Maybe a body-language dismissal of Misa's gift wasn't enough to placate the detective. But then again… if he said anything outright against Misa, the rest of the team would hear it and think less of him. Plus, L might realise that Raito had caught onto his little temper tantrum and become angry, defensive or stoic; whichever was worse. Or even worse that that, Raito might be entirely wrong about L being irritated by Misa, and he'd just make a fool of himself. There was never an excuse for making a fool of himself. _Never_. Gods don't make idiotic mistakes.

"Yagami-kun, that basket of chocolate is going to melt under there with the heat from all the monitors."

Gods damn it all.

Red faced, Raito ducked under the desk and retrieved the chocolate-laden collection in question and placed it back onto the top of the surface, between his own and L's computers. Hesitating, he pushed the basket towards the detective. "Here. You can have some. I don't want it."

L twitched. Visibly _twitched_. Raito watched him intently. He'd made a very simple gesture. So simple it was _perfect_. No one else on the team would think of any double meanings that that little statement would contain. No one except the most suspicious individual on the planet other than himself. Of course 'it' would translate to mean Misa's affections. L had to catch onto that. He was the world's three best detectives, for heaven's sakes.

"No thank you, Yagami-kun," replied L stoically (damn it!). "Amane-san gave the present to you, so it's all yours. Nobody could possibly take it from you."

"Come on," muttered Raito quietly, so that the rest of the team wouldn't be able to hear the note of urgency in his voice. "You know that I didn't want this. I didn't want _any_ of it, but now I'm stuck with it." And how true it was, on so many levels. Not that he wasn't exceptionally good at exploiting things he was stuck with.

"Well maybe you should offer it to someone else," replied L, still staring blankly at his screen, thumb pinched between his teeth. "I'm not interested at the moment." He continued to stare at the screen with wide eyes, either absorbed with its contents, or feigning disinterest in Raito entirely.

Raito felt as if the pit of his stomach had just given way and all of his insides had come crashing to the floor. _What? _Despite himself, he could feel his eyes widening in horror. He couldn't mean it, surely not! L just said that he _wasn't interested_. Had he caught onto the double meaning and responded in kind?

Raito could feel the blood draining away from his face. Never… He hadn't considered the fact before, but he'd _never_ been rejected by anyone or anything in his life. Not by schools, not by universities, not by women… nothing except this detective. This scruffy, staring, unhealthily skinny little excuse for a human being had actually _rejected _him. Or had he?

"Can you read French, Yagami-kun? You might want to take a look at this, it really is quite remarkable. What's wrong now? You've gone a most bizarre shade of green." The detective spun on his swivel chair to stare at him more closely, dark-rimmed eyes wide with fascination as he peered owlishly at the younger man's pallid expression. He still held his thumb between his lips, chewing thoughtfully.

"Nothing," rasped Raito forcibly. That little _bastard_. Toying with his emotions so… did L have _any _idea what kind of hell he just put Raito through just then? Knowing L, he knew perfectly well what had just happened, but had decided to play along and let Raito's brain do all of the torturing itself. That sadistic little… His eloquence had almost died, he was so irate.

"It's rather fascinating actually," continued L, apparently oblivious to Raito's barely controlled fury as he turned back to examine the website. "Another Kira-worshipping cult is attempting to make contact with Kira by sending exchange students to Japan. It would seem that we're not the only people who've guessed that Kira is a student. Even the French followers have caught on, and the media resources of Japan are only filtered there by a minimal number of satellites."

That was _it_? Raito forced himself to look calm, whilst silently seething. "Really? I don't think it's too difficult to explain though, Ryuuzaki. After all, the Kira case is famous all over the world. It's pretty easy to rationalise that Kira would pick up followers in different countries."

"I suppose," L leant back against the chair, still perched in his odd manner. "All the same, it does make one think, Yagami-kun."

"There are few things in the world that don't make you think, Ryuuzaki," joked Raito weakly, trying to stimulate some normal colour back to his face. He couldn't let L know how badly he'd been shaken. Couldn't let him know about the minor heart palpitation that he'd momentarily undergone.

"I fail to see how this is a bad thing," replied L, resistant as ever to any attempts to make fun of himself. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Nor would I, Ryuuzaki," intoned Raito, surprised at the honesty with which he spoke. "You'd be just like everyone else if you did so."

And there it was. That little slide of the detective's eye. A small flicker that sent shivers up Raito's spine as he realised that the detective was looking at him. Truly looking at him. Not just observing him like he would any suspect in a murder case, but actually watching Yagami Raito for who he was. It was as fleeting as it was exhilarating, but nonetheless, it had happened. Raito blinked, reassuring himself. "Translate for me would you?" The pale detective nodded and leant in closer to the screen again, Raito edging his chair just a little closer.

It was well after closing time for the rest of the Kira investigation team, and once again, Raito and L were still sitting up and dissecting their own theories. To be honest, Raito was actually starting to enjoy the process. There was an atmosphere of peace quite unlike any other. All he could hear was the hum of electrical appliances, and the small sounds of the detective working next to him. He'd never let L know how much he appreciated this small bit of time that they shared, hunched over documents and occasionally discussing a new idea.

Alright, it wasn't that small a bit of time. And to be honest, there were other things that Raito would rather be doing. Like sleeping, for one. Ryuuzaki however, suddenly looked up from his paperwork, eyes lidded with concentration as he threw a new proposal into their irregular debate.

"I'm hungry."

"I fail to see how this is my problem," replied Raito dispassionately. A fat felt marker swung to and fro between his thumb and forefinger, lazily poised over a large stack of official documents. The Yotsuba case was certainly a paper-intensive one. For a while he almost considered pitying the forest that was sacrificed in its name. Kira had claimed even more victims for his noble cause.

"It's your problem, Raito-kun, because if I have to put up with hunger, then you have to put up with my complaining of hunger." A good point. Raito grimaced. He'd never encountered a petulant version of L before, and had so far been relatively glad of this. He himself had been petulant on a number of occasions, largely arising from sleep deprivation, yet so far the detective had been oddly restrained about this.

Raito swivelled slightly on his chair to eye Ryuuzaki appraisingly. "Come now, Ryuuzaki, you wouldn't do something so childish, surely? The three best detectives in the world couldn't be reduced to the intellectual level of a five-year old just because they happen to be _hungry_."

"Can and will do," replied L mutinously, frowning at the sprawl of documents before him. "I think best when I have something to eat. If I don't, then I simply cannot function at full power, and consequently become frustrated at myself."

"In other words, you get cranky because you want fed."

"Quite. Now do you recognise the extent of our predicament?" L stared levelly at him.

"Indeed, I do understand. I'm just still bemused by your churlishness. It's…unexpected." _And slightly on the wrong side of adorable_.

Oh for crying out loud, he didn't just _think_ that did he? Raito considered slapping himself, but decided against it on the grounds that it would be caught on security camera and have to be explained later to a larger group of people.

L rolled his eyes skywards, "I want to get something to eat. I was so caught up in our work today that I failed to notice that the fridge hadn't been restocked. And I didn't have my standard meals." With a lurch, he shifted from his position, crouched spider-like on the swivel chair, to the floor. Slouching over to the door, Raito braced against the chain's taut length, refusing to get up.

"Standard meals?" queried Raito. "All I ever see you eat is a selection of cakes and sugary products at meal times. You ate a whole box of donuts today at lunch."

"Precisely. Not nearly enough." L pulled against the leash stubbornly.

Raito sighed. "Couldn't you just send someone for supplies? Besides, this is going to eat into our time on the Kira case."

"And isn't this quite the role reversal?" shot back L, eyes bright with some hybrid of amusement and maliciousness. "I could have sworn that _you_ were the one responsible for the last few stops. In fact, let's make that _all_ of the pauses and changes to our work schedule. Not to mention the ones that your little friend initiates."

"There's no need to be nasty about it," grumbled Raito, rising slowly, painfully to his feet. Damn Ryuuzaki. "I see what you mean by becoming irrational when hungry."

"I never said that."

"I was making a reasonable analysis based on the available information." _What a prat_. This was only going to get more painful if he ignored the detective. Come to think of it, he had never encountered a hungry L before. Such a phenomenon was most likely not going to go down in history as one of those more enjoyable to behold.

Anyway, if he went along with it, maybe his resigned irritation might be mistaken for compassion. It was worth a try. Anything that could possibly lower his likelihood of being Kira by another percent had to be worth it.

"Where do you want to go?" asked Raito reluctantly, still not budging from his chair. "It's late, so most places are going to be shut. Everyone's gone home or gone to bed already, so it's not as if we can drive."

"There's a place I know," insisted L, stilling tugging at intervals on the chain more to make a point than to actually get anywhere. "It stays open until eleven at night. This isn't the first time I've been there. And besides, I know how to drive."

"This happens a lot, does it?" Raito's eyebrow quirked upwards. "Honestly, Ryuuzaki, you should plan your life a little better." Then he stopped. "You have a driver's licence?"

Unfortunately for Raito, L decided to tug the chain with a little more force than Raito had been expected. The swivel chair pitched forwards, and Raito was pitched out, cursing onto the floor. Hastily scrambling to his feet in order to retrieve what little dignity was still assigned to him, Raito glared, flushing at the amused L standing above him.

"Come on, Raito-kun," coaxed L. "It won't take long. If you've quite finished your little examination of the quality of the floor tiles, we can be heading off. You'll be back with plenty of time to work, I assure you."

That utter _bastard_. Raito's teeth were gritted together so tightly, he was certain that his dentist was going to strangle him on his next appointment for ruining the root systems. How _dare_ Ryuuzaki taunt him so? It was so…so…unexpected and yet, oddly enough, not that surprising. L apparently was a more twisted individual than Raito had initially given him credit for. How delightful.

Hang on a minute. He hadn't answered the question about having a licence either.

"Fine. But it had better not be far away. If I sit in a car for too long, I'll probably fall asleep." Or at least he hoped that the worst that could happen to him was fall asleep. L nodded amiably and sloped out of the room, leading the reluctant, yet still interested Raito along behind him. This could only get more interesting.

"I'm still amazed that you know where there's a 24-hr cake shop," commented Raito, as L steered a sleek black BMW out of the underground compound of the building. He relaxed against the luscious interior, taking in the contents of the car with what looked like a leisurely eye. Three cameras, two microphones that he could see, and he was certain that there was a garrotte wire under the slab of carpet at his feet. Paranoid, much?

L nodded absentmindedly, wide eyes focused on the road and fingers steepled on the very edges of the wheel. It amused Raito to no end to see the detective forced to sit on a chair normally in order to reach the pedals. "I am surprised that you do not know how to drive a car, Yagami-kun," commented L lazily. "It's something normal for your age, no?"

"Yeah, I guess," Raito leant his head on his hand, staring out at the neon signs as they flashed past the cruising vehicle. "Just haven't got around to it… what with school, exams, university and being suspected of being Kira and all." He tweaked a bit of humour into the statement. No point in making the mood too heavy. Especially not if L was unpredictable when hungry. "When did you learn?"

"About ten minutes ago." The car ploughed through a pedestrian crossing, forcing a couple of late-night stragglers to leap backwards.

"You what?" Raito spun around to stare at the detective in shock.

"Relax, Yagami-kun," replied L, perfectly demure and still watching the road with something akin to fascination. "I'm more than 70 percent certain that I am in control of this machine. And either way, the café is just a couple of blocks away." Raito closed his eyes, cursed a few minor deities and beseeched the help of those not too offended to listen to him, and then opened his eyes again. "I would prefer it if you warned me about this next time."

"I'll bear that in mind, Raito-kun," said L placidly. Cutting across the traffic and into a parking space, he shut off the engine and smiled faintly at Raito. "Come on."

Sliding nimbly out the car, Raito glanced at the brightly lit building. It wasn't a cake shop exclusively. It looked like a coffee shop for people who kept indecent hours, and probably indecent company as well. Not that it was a seedy place. It just had a vague air of disrepute about it. Hurrying after L, he noted that the detective hadn't even bothered to lock the car.

A few moments later, they were both sitting in a booth, Raito with a potentially lethal dose of pure caffeine, and L with a plate that appeared to encompass most every blend of sugar on the planet. Shifting uncomfortably on the polished red leather, Raito watched L hack the creamy, sugary mess into manageable lumps, spooning it into his mouth with every expression of delight.

"You want some?" L glanced up at Raito, one hand rising to wipe a great smear of clotted cream from his upper lip.

Oh good lords… he was _not_ cut out for _that_ kind of offer!

Clearing his throat and hoping that he hadn't just blushed as scarlet as he thought he had, Raito shook his head hurriedly. So as not to appear rude, he laughed shortly. "It looks a bit too heavy for me, Ryuuzaki. What is it anyway?"

"Raspberry cream and lemon pie. Wonderful stuff. They do the best version of it here," L spooned another mouthful away, eyelids lowered with bliss. "I had it the first time I arrived in Japan, you know," he remarked conversationally. "Ages ago that was." He held his spoon off to one side, thoughtfully.

Raito leant forwards, "So this is your at least second time in Japan? You must have studied Japanese with a native speaker before you came here."

L just shrugged enigmatically, scooping up the last morsel of pie and looking pathetically at the empty plate. Raito rolled his eyes. "Do you want me to buy you another round?"

L looked up at him, "would you?" There was something almost innocently unassuming in those eyes. As if the idea that Raito might possibly carry money around in his wallet had never occurred to a person whose IQ probably made most of MENSA cringe in shame. Raito nodded. "Sure. My treat."

"At least try it this time around," insisted L, as Raito gestured to the sleepy-eyed waitress that he wanted another plate. "It's lovely stuff."

"I don't like sweets," complained Raito. "Well, that's not strictly true. I _like_ them, but only on occasion."

"What do you like then?"

"I…ah…I'm not too sure actually." Raito scanned his mind inwardly, surprised at himself for not having an answer. That rarely happened. "I don't suppose I've ever considered it. Food's just food after all."

"Ah, that is perhaps where we differ then, Raito-kun," noted L, nodding appreciatively to the waitress as she set the new plate down with a clatter. "Sweet things add that extra interest to life for me. It's a simple delight that continually helps me to place my more sombre thoughts in perspective."

"Sweets help you to think?" Raito leant his elbows on the desk, chin balanced on his knuckles as he stared thoughtfully at L. "I've never employed that method before."

"I recommend it. Try it." L sliced the corner off his new piece of pie, resplendent with thick cream and fruit slivers. He stared pointedly at Raito, waving the proffered spoon. Raito hesitated, one hand moved to block the spoon away and reject the offer, but L was too quick for him. The cold metal of the utensil clashed against his front teeth with a sudden clang, forcing his mouth open in surprise. The assault of artificial and authentic sweetener on his senses almost made him gag, but his shock at L's act stopped him from protesting. The detective's face was unreadable as he fed the morsel of pie to the spluttering Raito.

"See? Not so bad is it." L withdrew the spoon and calmly set about the pie himself, as if he hadn't done anything half as intrusive as force-feed the confused young man to whom he was currently (and rather foolishly) handcuffed. Hastily swallowing the sticky slice of dessert in order to rid the nasty taste from his mouth, Raito tried and failed to find an eloquent response to that assertion.

Why oh why must his mind torment him so? And not just his mind… that pestilential pseudo-naïve detective Ryuuzaki, L, Ryuuga – whatever his name was.

"No, not so bad," he mumbled, gazing down into his coffee cup and eyeing the mournful, flustered youth that stared back at him. This was not going to plan at all. Of course, to the untrained eye, he looked perfectly stoic and in control. In Raito's own mind, his strife was written all over his face.

_You're just being paranoid_, he assured himself, settling back against the cushioned booth as L began to make comments regarding the impracticality of the light fixtures on the ceiling. _There's nothing untoward happening. He's not deliberately making a fool of you. _Or at least, he probably wasn't. Peaceful atmosphere aside, he couldn't wait to leave the dingy little café and go back to the headquarters. He felt exposed here. He needed to go back, get some sleep, and do some serious thinking.

And finally there he was again. Secure to an extent. Secure to the point that sleep was able to soothe his nagging thoughts. For what small amount of said rest he was afforded.

Raito rolled over sleepily, eyes easing slightly open in the warm darkness of the room, as encompassing and oddly reassuring as if somehow had draped a heavy blanket over him. It was peculiar really; that the mere effects created by the restricted presence of light could have such an effect on his psyche. The room was silent, yet not still. Stillness suggested death, frigidity and solitude. This silence was oddly alive, excluded from deathlike ambience by the faint rustle of blankets, the slumbering inhaling and exhaling of light breaths.

The only sound that truly punctured the calm atmosphere of the room was the rhythmic _tick_ of the alarm clock, nestled on the bedside table like a squat toad trying not to be noticed on its conspicuous perch. Raito let his eyes drift open more fully, to stare at the burning red numbers of the device. Three forty-five a.m. Still at least another hour before L started waking up. Frankly, Raito was surprised that the detective hadn't roused himself the instant he opened his eyes. L seemed to have an uncanny knack for springing into wakefulness, mere moments before Raito himself even thought about glaring down the light of day. The point of having the alarm clock in the room through Raito somewhat. It wasn't as if L ever slept for more than three hours at a stretch, nor was he able to ignore the grumbling at the other end of the bed if he tried to ignore this fact and continue sleeping. Along with the vegetable crisper in L's mini-fridge, that alarm clock had to be one of the most useless items within the newly constructed investigation headquarters.

Blinking muzzily, eyes slowly adjusting to the scant light in the darkened room, Raito could feel himself becoming more aware of his surroundings, consciousness shuffling dejectedly into wakefulness. He was going to regret this later, when L would refuse to go to bed until it was an hour before they were scheduled to wake up. _Again_. The thought almost forced him to shut his eyes determinedly to capture those few illusive moments of rest before they were whinged about and confiscated by the insomniac detective reposed beside him.

_Speaking of which_, Raito's eyes slid to one side. Where was L at the moment? Was he actually sleeping, or just feigning sleep so that he could watch Raito's every move without being noticed? He was creepy enough to do that. Raito hesitated. If he turned around, he could be faced with one of several options. Worst-case scenario: Ryuuzaki would be awake and staring back at him, ready to make some snarky comment or suggest that they start work early. Best-case scenario:… good question. He hadn't thought that far ahead, and wasn't entirely sure if it was safe to.

Ah well. He was relatively sure that Ryuuzaki was asleep. The steady rise and fall of the snoozing detective's chest hadn't faltered, nor had the slow whistle of his exhaled breath slowed. Actually it was a most unexpected noise. Not quite a snore, but almost as annoying. He'd never even noticed it before. Probably because L was always awake before him, and fell asleep after. L probably wasn't even aware that he made such an aggravating, yet oddly endearing noise.

_Oddly endearing_. Oh dear. It was starting again.

Gritting his teeth, Raito bullied his waking hormones to retreat back to the base of his skull, where he could pile his more pressing concerns of being tired, accused of mass murder and having a cramp in his foot on top of them. He did _not_ need this kind of mental abuse first thing in the morning.

But the desire to inch over in his sleep, turn over innocently as if merely shifting positions in slumber was extremely tempting. He could feel the chain's length easily enough. It wouldn't get in the way, or snag him in an uncomfortable place, or wake L if he were to move. He was reasonably certain of it. Should he do it?

Memories of L's earlier rebuke came flooding back and clashed with that odd move of unprecedented familiarity in the café. Raito bit his lip. The team had been heading towards the room back when L told him to stop. If he had tried to express his clumsy affections back then, it would have been made public knowledge in less time it took Misa to latch herself onto his arm; and prove every ounce as hard to throw off. That must have been the main reason for L's look of shock, manifested in open rejection.

But what if it wasn't? Had L decided that he wasn't interested in Raito beyond how many crimes he could accuse him of? What if the gesture of sharing his dessert had simply been a whim, or a joke at Raito's expense due to his distaste for sweets?

Paranoia. There's nothing quite like it to keep one young. He was having enough of it to serve as a fountain of bloody youth though.

Raito frowned, brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen into his eyes. _Nonsense_. He was just being nervous. L was asleep. There was nothing wrong with turning over to find a more comfortable position.

Damn that mind of his.

Gritting his teeth, Raito drew as deep a breath as he was willing to risk being heard. Tentatively flexing his sleepy muscles, he slowly, gently manoeuvred himself around, twisting to lie on his stomach. Then he angled his head so that he was no longer staring at the clock, but towards the centre of the bed. His heart nearly stopped at the sight that met his eyes.

L was asleep; he had guessed correctly. The detective was curled into a ball, knees cuddled up to his chest as if he had simply been moved from his original seating position to the bed, having fallen asleep during the investigation. Thick black locks spilled freely over his face, stark against the pale blankets. One fist clutched a handful of the doona, as if afraid that someone would tug it away from him. But it wasn't the catlike fashion in which he was sleeping that caught Raito's attention. It was the look of supreme peace. Pallid features that were normally taut with the effort of affecting stoicism had relaxed. Raito was amazed to note that Ryuuzaki was one of those few people who smiled slightly when they slept.

He'd personally have picked him for being one of those people who slept with their eyes open in a disturbing manner. This wasn't nearly as bad. In fact, it was positively _agreeable_ of all things.

Raito froze. He just lay there, staring at L. It was the first time that he had ever seen the detective with his guard down. How very remarkable. The world's top three detectives, all technically this one youth, were at ease. Just how many people had ever witnessed this? He knew that L was an orphan, so there was a possibility that others sharing a dormitory with him would have witnessed this, but how long ago had that been? He felt… privileged…somehow. There had been much more by way of sub-clauses to the handcuffs agreement than Raito had first bargained for.

Not only was Raito's life kept in the limelight, but also another side of L was opened up to an unprecedented degree of vulnerability.

Gently, so as not to disturb the sleeping detective, Raito slowly freed one of his hands from under the blankets. Moving automatically, without truly thinking about what he was doing for once, Raito teased a small strand of L's hair away from his mouth, where it had become trapped between the detective's lips during the course of the night. He hated that feeling himself. It seemed a fair enough gesture.

To no small relief of his, L didn't wake up. Didn't even flinch. Raito blinked. He'd thought that his move would have been noticed. Was he disappointed? Maybe… he still wasn't quite certain.

As Raito's eyes became heavier, sleep debt fidgeting anxiously in the corner of his mind, he could have sworn that he saw L's eyelids flicker, just as his own fell shut again. Could have sworn that he saw a thoughtful gaze return his own fading attentions as mind drifted back to fitful slumber.


	9. Chapter 9

Wild-filly: Salutations again, and my sincere thanks to everyone who has reviewed, commented and given me their feedback

Disclaimer: I am wild-filly, and I own everything! L is mine, all mine! And Raito… well… you can keep Raito. I'm not so worried about him. Alternatively, these might be the ramblings of a wistful and witless fan, so you should probably not take these very seriously. Don't own Death Note (sigh). **By the way, there will be slight spoilers dotted throughout this chapter and more in later ones… the plot's starting to engage…**

………..

Mind Games: Chapter Nine

Ignorance is Bliss

…………

_Must be strangely exciting_

_To watch the stoic squirm_

_Must be somewhat heartening_

_To watch shepherd need shepherd_

_But you, you're not allowed_

_You're uninvited_

_An unfortunate slight._

Something akin to foreboding filled the atmosphere as Raito staggered to his desk that morning. L slouched after him, chain sagging to the floor as they walked side by side. Ordinarily Raito would have been irked by the close proximity, but now he didn't know what to think about it. He had no way to be certain of what L thought about him. Had the detective noticed him watching him that morning, or had he stared unseeing, or had he written it off as a mere trick of the light? No pun intended.

Wordlessly Raito accepted a steaming mug of coffee from a sleepy-eyed Matsuda, who appeared to be trying to make an effort to begin and finish the investigation at the same time as the detective and prime suspect. Not that that would last for long. Not even Raito was certain that he could last this long, and he didn't even have a choice in the matter. Taking a deep swig of the scalding liquid and consequently burning his tongue in the process, Raito winced reflexively and placed the mug on the desk. Toothpaste and coffee always tasted revolting together, and combined with a minor mouth burn, he had successfully completed possibly the most pointless ritual of the morning, yet one that he couldn't live without.

"Raito-kun, would you mind going through that stack of papers there?" asked L, by way of a hint that there was a boring, yet potentially important task that needed doing. Raito grunted in sleepy response, picking up a scratchy biro and proceeding to glare at the first page on top of the pile. 'Accountants of the Yotsuba Corporations'. Oh goody. This was going to be a thrill a minute.

"Be meticulous," suggested L meaningfully. "It's possible that someone amongst those accountants is connected to Kira."

"So you want me to run a match between these people and everyone related to the Kira case?" Well _that _was going to effectively spell ruin for the day. The question was neutral enough though. Raito wasn't stupid enough to indulge in emotions, like mere mortals did.

A tight nod confirmed Raito's despairing, though outwardly passive query. Brilliant. This wasn't revenge for stealing the blanket last night, was it? Suppress that thought. Now was not a good time to be remembering what happened last night. Had L actually opened his eyes? At this rate the issue was going to be running around his head all day.

Speaking of running around, he vaguely remembered promising to give Misa a belated Valentine's Day present today. Great. Just what he needed.

"Ryuuzaki? I'm afraid that I need to go out and get something."

"Whatever for?" L glanced over at him, hunched over his computer with an air of sleepy awareness. He was munching on a caramel slice; apparently breakfast for today and an insult to dieticians everywhere. Raito hesitated. Volunteering an idea that would separate L from his morning cake was akin to offering to see how long humans could survive without air under water, with a lead weight tied to their feet, and lead pellet embedded in their skull courtesy of a convenient shotgun.

"Raito-kun?" The youth flinched, then steeled himself. He was Yagami Raito, the anonymous Kira and future God of the known world. He was _not_ afraid of the reaction of some spindly excuse for a genius to a simple question.

"I promised Misa that I'd get her a present, and if I don't, she'll never let it slide. Could I possibly go out at some point today to get her one? It won't take very long, I assure you."

L's face darkened, and he turned back to his screen. Raito could have sworn that the detective pouted for a second, just before his expression was obscured by the last chunk of squishy caramel slice being thrust into his mouth. Crumbs fell unchecked onto the keyboard, but Ryuuzaki didn't seem to notice. Was he angry at the suggestion to stop work, leave his cake, or get something for Misa? Raito honestly couldn't tell, but did know for a fact that he wasn't going to like the answer.

"If you don't want to do one of the more menial tasks in this investigation, Yagami-kun," said L silkily, "then you should have said so in the first place. You don't have to make up excuses."

Raito baulked, staring in astonishment at the sour-faced detective. "You think that I'm trying to get out of work? When have I ever done that, Ryuuzaki?" He was more than slightly perturbed by the fact that L had gone from a more relaxed reference to Raito to his most distant. Not a good sign. "I just want to step out for twenty minutes or so to grab something that'll prevent Misa from making a racket and disrupting the team any more than usual." L became so annoyed from one mere question? Most odd.

L stared mulishly at his computer screen, thumb pinched between his front teeth meditatively. He didn't even look at Raito. Nor appear willing to deign him with a response to the questions, or rebut the proposal. The young megalomaniac found himself experiencing a most unusual feeling of acute rage. How dare L ignore him so? After all he'd been through with the detective, and because of the detective. And he wasn't just thinking about the incarceration period either. That time had been comparatively simple, since at least then he had known exactly what he thought about the world, and certain people.

"Fine," he sighed, cramming his ego into the furthest corner of his skull. "Sorry I asked. I just thought that it'd save us some hassle later when Misa decides to come visiting." Easier to concede defeat and move on. Having L pointedly not speaking to him was something that he'd seldom encountered. He'd never noticed just how much it could rattle him. How had it got to the point where the detective could push his buttons so easily? He hadn't even noticed. Or rather, he had, but hadn't known what to do about it.

L turned slightly in his chair, wide dark eyes barely visible under his heavy bangs. "Yagami-kun was not wrong to ask, but now is not a good time. Maybe after we're finished for the day."

Raito rolled his eyes. "Unless we barricade the door, Misa won't wait that long."

"Then tell her to." _Gods damn it_. How obvious was it? Raito cursed himself internally. Of course Misa would do exactly as Raito told her to. Why hadn't he considered that straight away? He'd been so busy wondering over L's weird temper that he hadn't even properly considered other options available.

Well, that and the fact that he was looking for an excuse to go out and get some fresh air. The other night's trip out of the building, as hair-raising as L's driving revelation had made it, had been a pleasant break. Raito found himself longing for an opportunity to amble down the street, taking in the sights, sounds and less pleasant scents of the busy metropolis. Living in the middle of the city had both its good and bad sides.

He wouldn't have minded going for a walk with the detective either. Or just going _somewhere_ with the detective. In more ways than one.

_Shut up, brain_. That wasn't conventional thinking.

"I'll do that," replied Raito smoothly. He reached for the intercom phone, and paused. "During lunch-break, could we go out and get the wretched gift?"

"During lunch?" L looked troubled, and more than a little harassed as he was torn from his apparently fascinating computer screen yet again. "But I'm having strawberry shortcake and triple-chocolate cookies today. I'm not leaving early from it." There was an air of petulance about his voice, biting his lip like a three-year old denied the privilege of an ice-cream on a winter's day.

"You can eat first," said Raito patiently. "It's just that most shops will be shut during the small hours of the morning when we finish," he added icily. "I don't think that there's much Misa would want from a 24-hour chemist, or petrol station." Actually, knowing Misa there probably was, but Raito wasn't willing to go there. And damn it, why did Ryuuzaki keep biting his lip like that? It was very…distracting.

L's eyes rolled upwards, considering the ceiling for some time as he formulated his answer. Raito decided to look studious, forcing other thoughts to one side, and resumed peeling through the pages of accountants, highlighting any familiar names and beginning to plug them into the investigation's database. Yellow highlighter smeared his fingertips. Irritating. He should have stuck with his biro. Shame that he'd discovered the reason for its scratchy writing texture had been due to its lack of ink and declining ability to function as living pens so. Thinking about pens was a useful distraction from other thoughts that were taking up near-permanent residence in his mind.

"You have one hour, Raito-kun." The answer came at last, and the detective looked none too pleased to be giving it. "One hour starting at 12.30pm, and provided that you will not ask for another break during the day. We cannot afford to stop more often than is necessary. And this-," L looked at him levelly, "-is hardly what I would call _necessary_."

Raito nodded tightly, smiling. "Thank you, Ryuuzaki." And he meant it. A vague look akin to surprise flitted across L's face, quickly suppressed with his usual affectation of stoicism. Not wanting to embarrass the detective any more, Raito buried himself into the pile of unappealing paperwork. Left hand simultaneously tapped a message to Misa on his mobile, telling her to wait until this afternoon before coming into the office. The intercom phone would have been quicker, but he didn't really fancy antagonising L further by loudly fielding off Misa's questions on the other line. Besides, he could turn this phone off the instant he had finished sending the message and effectively ignore her until later today.

The Yotsuba case was certainly not the most interesting case he'd ever come across. And if the number of accountants they employed was any suggestion of their financial status, then they were as rich as they were boring. And possibly as murderous, too. It was amusing to be tracing Kira from another angle. He had to admit that they were doing a far more inferior job to him. Not that he'd have had it any other way.

Several hours of monotonous data chewing and flicking through a seemingly endless pile of paper passed without event. Raito occasionally glanced up from his jotting to watch the possible object of his disorganised affections. L was crouched, as always, on the edge of his computer chair. Considering how precarious the position was, Raito was amazed that the detective hadn't fallen off it.

Oh. He had. Once. Raito almost flushed at the memory. How long ago had that been? Hardly that much time ago. It was remarkable that L hadn't been even remotely phased by the unexpected kiss. Well, not that Raito was overly willing to admit that L was that remarkable. Or even certain that he wasn't phased. Emotions didn't seem to factor into L's life. Yet it was … bizarre that things hadn't really changed between them. That Ryuuzaki was willing to let the whole affair slide quietly past them both, with a vague promise to consider what Raito had meant by the clumsy gesture.

And what was his answer going to be? It was a plague. A veritable plague on Raito's mind. Was he the only one thinking about this tangled relationship? Impossible. Not if Ryuuzaki truly were as intelligent as most of the world seemed to believe. So why then had he not been given an answer yet?

Raito shuffled in his chair, casual sneakers squeaking on the tiled floor. L didn't even blink. A forkful of strawberry shortcake was currently distracting him from any and all other signs of life from the rest of the universe. Yawning, Raito hammered another list of names into the database, keyboard clacking in a tired fashion. Weaving the mouse across the page, he began to run another comparison check. Nothing. _Again_. How many names had he gone through already? One hundred? Two hundred? This was a useless effort, it truly was.

He snuck another glance at the stoic detective on his left. Shortcake finished, L was now peacefully regarding his screen with a thoughtful stare as he fumbled for a handful of sugar cubes, depositing them one at a time into his coffee cup. Three cubes in total. And then one which the detective just popped straight into his mouth. His jaw worked in slight motions. He was moving the cube around inside his mouth, dissolving the granules in slow, steady movements. Raito blinked. Oops. Staring again. He glanced down at his paperwork again, and tapped another couple of names into the computer for good measure. _Pathetic. Truly pathetic_. Had he lost so much of his self control already? This was just disgraceful. He wasn't even focusing on his work because of this stupid genius.

_Oh, and that made _perfect_ sense_. Shaking his head slightly, Raito rapped his pen against his knuckles in an agitated fashion. Why in the name of all things holy did he have to discover a set of emotions other than pride, anger and apathy in the middle of the most complicated event of his life to date? It was all L's fault that he was so disconnected. He couldn't concentrate properly, and in a situation like this, building his way to supreme power, not concentrating could literally prove fatal.

Raito rolled the thought around his head, staring sightlessly at the computer screen as it whirred and flashed, informing him yet again that there were no matches. Why had he chosen _L_ of all people to maybe, possibly, sort-of feel something for? It made not a jot of sense. There were plenty of people better looking, and with less annoying habits. Not to mention plenty of them didn't believe that he was capable of murder, as L seemed to hold in great stead as far as his thoughts regarding Raito were concerned.

"Are you ready, Yagami-kun?" A bored question broke the haze of questions in Raito's head. He started, looking up hurriedly at L. The detective was already out of his chair and staring pointedly at him. "Come on. I haven't got all day. You have one hour." Something that looked like a chocolate-chip cookie, but a million times richer and with at least twice the sugar content was clutched in his unmanacled hand.

Raito nodded in thanks, and rose from his chair. "I just need to go and grab my wallet." L rolled his eyes towards the sky but began to trudge towards the door anyway. "I might have guessed, Yagami-kun, that one would require a wallet in order to make purchases," he remarked dryly. He paused to take a bite out of the crumbling cookie.

Raito said nothing, and simply followed Ryuuzaki out the room, ignoring the sidelong looks of the rest of the investigation team. They seemed positively worried about something. Probably the fact that L was indulging in sarcasm. After all, sarcasm almost expressed emotion, and L rarely bothered to do so. And he especially didn't put use of sarcasm before eating something sweet. All the same, Raito knew better than to take L's supposed irritation personally. Jogging after the slouching detective, Raito caught up to him. "Any particular reason why you were pretending to be annoyed?"

L blinked at him. "It was that obvious?"

"Not to the others," reassured Raito, mentally sighing with relief. Dragging a grouchy L around a shopping centre would be even less pleasant than dragging around any other kind of L. And that included the suspicious one. "I just found it odd that you'd be so grudging about something that you promised to do. You don't strike me as the kind of person who'd act like that."

A look of surprise momentarily rushed to L's face, only to melt just as quickly back to blankness. "What kind of person do I strike you as, Raito-kun?"

_Oh gods_. Now _that_ was one question that Raito still didn't know how to properly answer. He cleared his throat, reached out to open the bedroom door before he answered. "You don't use emotions to excess, and when you say something, you mean it in some form. Your expression of boredom and annoyance back there didn't fit in context with your earlier agreement. You wouldn't use the same emotion in short succession, regardless of how pertinent to the situation it was. That's not how you operate."

Staring, L replied, "And just how precisely did you come to that conclusion?" He had a thoughtful look on his face as he watched Raito rummage through the pockets of his jacket, hanging in the walk-in wardrobe that took up a considerable corner of their shared room. Seizing his illusive wallet, Raito thrust the leather-bound item into his pocket and turned to leave. L was still watching him, chewing on the last mouthful of his chocolaty cookie. _Damn_. He didn't particularly want to answer that question either.

"Well," he grinned falsely, "I suppose it's because we've spent so much time together. Some ways you act seem more natural to you than others. That little display of irritation just didn't fit in." _And none of this had anything to do with the fact that he spent most of his free time analysing how L acted, and trying to understand why he was…drawn… to it._

L nodded, giving every outward demonstration of satisfaction with that answer as he headed for the door, scuffing bare feet against the plush carpet. However, Raito had seen the hollow spark in his eyes that suggested something to the contrary. That strange glint that his eyes took on when he was considering something different to what he had just been told, or was pretending to accept.

He needed to get a new hobby. Seriously. 'L watching' was not good for his mental health.

They left the building and were chauffeured over to the city centre. Raito didn't say anything to L with regards to their last excursion as he slid into the back of the Mercedes after the detective. The less that was said about L's driving abilities, the better. Not that he hadn't managed to avoid crashing or mentally or physically scarring pedestrians. To be honest, Raito wouldn't have minded taking another spin in the BMW convertible. Not just because it was the only car where they could actually get into the front seats without having to perform some vague acrobatics in order to get onto different seats, still chained together. It was a nice vehicle, insofar as Raito was ever one to take an interest in cars. They were interesting enough, but still beyond his own savings, therefore he didn't dwell on them.

"Where do you want to go?" L turned to Raito expectantly, as the driver skilfully guided the car through the snaking traffic. "What did you have in mind for Amane-san?"

Raito shrugged. "I thought we'd just wander around one of the main department stores or shopping centres until something suitably obnoxious caught my attention. She'll be happy with pretty much anything I get her. If I'd been given more notice, I would have just contacted an internet florist, but of course that would have taken too long to deliver." _Plus this gives me an excuse to stretch my legs. And enjoy some time with L alone_. What was that? His conscience and self-control smacked his cowering libido back into the corner of his skull and glared threateningly at it. Good grief. This was getting seriously disconcerting. He needed a holiday. Or something like it.

"Fair enough," L suddenly waved for the driver to pull over, and sprang out of the car with more nimbleness than Raito had expected, partially dragging the other youth out of the vehicle. Hastily regaining his balance and lost dignity, slightly sprawled across the backseat of the car and the floor, Raito clambered out onto the pavement and stared up at the massive sign. A shopping mall of some kind; not one that he recognised, insofar as could recognise shopping malls. _Ah well_. Time to be attacked by rabid consumerism. L glanced over at him. "Shall we?"

Nodding, Raito followed the spindly detective through the automatic doors and into the warm atmosphere of the shopping centre. He swiftly took in his new surroundings. The entire place was heated, and the air almost stiflingly warm, inspiring his already sleep-deprived brain to volunteer hopeful suggestions of curling up and napping somewhere. He shrugged it off and glanced around the displays. Nothing that looked vaguely Valentine's Day shaped. Typical. Actually, things seemed to be taking on a distinctly easter-shaped image.

"I think we should look for chocolates or something like that," he informed L. "It's either that or jewellery. And I'm not in the mood to part with huge amounts of money in that department." To his small pleasure, L's eyes lit up instantly at the mention of chocolate.

"This way," L slouched off with considerably more enthusiasm than earlier, chain pulling tight and hauling Raito after him. The taller teen had to shuffle to catch up, lengthening his stride to keep up with Ryuuzaki's smart pace. "You can smell chocolate from here?" he joked. A small smile tugged at L's mouth, and Raito found himself temporarily transfixed on it. Then he became aware of the stares that they were attracting.

"Ah, Ryuuzaki, I think we should probably slow down a bit. People are looking a little worried." Raito offered the suggestion nervously, observing the disbelieving stares and whispers of the crowds. Speed had little to do with it. The handcuffs, on the other hand, were another matter. Their gender too, had something to do with it.

"We haven't run anyone over yet, Raito-kun, so I fail to see the problem," replied L demurely, striding past a massive display of easter eggs. He stared in fascination for a second at the pile of gaudily decorated egg-shell and chocolate before hurrying on. "Western holidays are obsessed with sweet things, aren't they?" He mused aloud, oblivious to the extra stares that his conversing with the air attracted. "Chocolate for easer, for valentines day, for Halloween, and then candy canes for Christmas." He glanced over at Raito. "What do you think, Raito-kun?"

"I think you need to slow down and take that left back there," panted Raito. L froze, pivoting on one foot and reversing direction, Raito shuffling awkwardly to follow. "I thought you knew where you were going," he accused. He was too amused by L's behaviour to be irritated by it though.

"The easter display threw me off a little," admitted L reluctantly.

Raito shook his head. "Nice work, Ryuuzaki. Couldn't even detect the chocolatier in the middle of the shopping centre." L threw him a dirty look and continued trudging at a slightly faster pace than before. Raito gritted his teeth irritably and lengthened his stride again. Ah well. This would certainly count as his weekly exercise quota.

The warm, heady scent of melted chocolate began to assail Raito's nostrils, thick and cloyingly sweet. Nestled in between a collection of gift stands, there stood a brass and walnut wood counter, glass display showing off a collection of delicate chocolates. L's head noticeably rose, and for a moment his posture was almost completely straight. Thankfully, he was able to control his delight long enough to re-establish his normal posture, much to his spine's sorrow.

"See something you like, Ryuuzaki?" teased Raito. Then he stopped, disgusted with himself. _Teased? _Maybe he actually needed to see a doctor. This was getting obscene…

L ignored him, and instead strode right up to the glass, eyes wide as he peered in at the stacks of truffles, white and dark slabs, fruit chip mixes, nut clusters and caramel and nougat combinations. There was a glazed look over his eyes, and Raito was willing to bet that he could admit to being Kira right that second and be either completely ignored or waved away impatiently. He closed his eyes with mock weariness. Well, this sugar-loving trait of L's was one thing that he could at least file away as a certainty about the detective's personality.

Maybe next time he should say it with chocolate?

Oh good gods, he did _not_ just think that.

"Would you perhaps like to get some of these?" he asked L finally, dispassionately scanning the selection of chocolate pieces. Sugary garbage, guaranteed to rot one's teeth, make skin greasy and pile on unnecessary kilos. Unless of course, one happened to be L, and therefore the normal laws of nature no longer had any application. Either way, he failed to understand what people loved so much about this foodstuff.

Blinking rapidly, L looked up at Raito. "I didn't bring any money," he confessed. There was a note of regret in his voice, and -hang on… were his eyes…watery? Raito almost took a step backwards and simultaneously suppressed the urge to step towards the lanky detective and pull him close. Was L looking downcast? The desire to hug someone had never risen so strongly before in Raito's life. It was most intimidating, and annoying at the same time.

"I wasn't expecting you to buy chocolate, otherwise I would have brought finances." Ryuuzaki stared mournfully into the collection, eyes wistfully resting on a stack of fudge pieces. He probably hadn't even realised that he was looking so pathetic at the moment.

"I'll get you some. My treat," stated Raito, throat dry. _What the hell was wrong with him?_ How could that one look; that one look which barely showed any emotion beyond a slight moistening of his eyes, have sparked such a sudden feeling within him? _It was ridiculous_. "Which ones would you like?" The fudge pieces, obviously. It was written all over L's face.

L stared at him as if he had grown an extra arm and just slapped him with it. "Get your present for Amane-san. You shouldn't stretch your wallet."

_Good point_. Raito peeled back leaves of his funds, crisp banknotes untouched for some time. Bah. He had enough to get L something as well. Provided he was a bit more economic on what he got for Misa. Not that that would be too difficult for him. She wasn't too picky, not when she knew that Raito had bought it.

"I'll be fine. There's nothing here that Misa would like, I'm sure. You're right to think that I shouldn't get her chocolate. After all, she seldom eats anything that contains sugar."

L still looked concerned. "What will you get her instead?"

Raito shrugged. "I'll go by a jewellery shop and get her some earrings. Something like that." He looked patiently at L. "I can get you some fudge pieces if you want. You can pay me back later if you're that worried about my lack of money."

Wringing his hands together, L was visibly torn between the sticky mass of honey-coloured sugar by-product and the dignity of maintaining self-control and denying the offer of the treat. Rolling his eyes, Raito swallowed, leaning over the counter and beckoning the attention of the chirpy attendant. Better he make the decision than wait for L to finally admit that he valued sweets over his dignity. Or would he? He could never be sure with L.

"Could I please get fifteen of these?" he tapped the glass in front of the neat mound of fudge. _That should keep him happy for a while. _L fretted beside him, unsure of whether he ought to decline the offer or caper with delight at the prospect of the sweets. "Raito-kun, I…" he hesitated, "you don't have to…"

"Too late," Raito grinned at him, face flush with genuine pleasure as he handed over a fistful of notes to the cashier and presented the white box, tied with gold ribbon, to the stuttering detective. He pushed it into L's trembling hands. "There you go. Consider it a gift."

Something inside him sent flares of warmth through him, trickling all throughout his body as he saw the conflict in L's face offset by delight. He couldn't hide much in those eyes. Maybe that was why he let his bangs grow so long and wild; to mask the emotions that made themselves manifest there, rather than across the rest of his features. _Amazing_. He was learning to read the unreadable; namely L's facial expressions.

"Thank you, Raito-kun," murmured L, eyes dropping to take in the glossy wrapping of his bestowed sweets. "You didn't have to do that. I could have come back later, or just sent someone down."

"Never mind that," dismissed Raito, gesturing that they should move away from the counter. "I wanted to get them for you." He said it firmly, and with such resolve that the detective stared at him for a moment. Raito strove to ignore that stare, instead looking out for signs that promised something shiny, and hopefully less expensive to give to Misa. Those little sweets had been a tad more costly than he had planned. L seemed to return to himself, rallying and slouching more actively after Raito, staring owlishly at the new shops they were passing. "Jewellery?"

"Jewellery," confirmed Raito with a sigh.

L snorted softly, raising his manacled arm to scratch his head absentmindedly. Raito shook his own head. "That place looks fine," he pointed towards a particularly glittery shop, offset with pastel colours and rows upon rows of shining metallic pendants. Within minutes, he had selected the most tasteful pair of earrings in the shop, and was waiting for them to be wrapped.

"Ryuuzaki, I don't think you should be playing with that."

L dropped the flamenco dancer's fan guiltily, much to Raito's amusement. "You were taking a while, Raito-kun," he explained, glaring slightly. "And that particular feathery concoction caught my attention. Its colour and texture promised a brief escape from boredom." He spoke with more than a little ice in his voice, but since he was speaking about a large red feathery fan, it was somewhat difficult to take him seriously.

"Well I'm not buying it for you," laughed Raito. L glowered at him as he accepted the gift bag from the cashier. Was it just him, or was the woman behind the counter giving him a funny look? That seemed to be happening a lot today. Maybe he should construct a couple of signs for himself and L to wear whenever they went out. Something along the lines of 'No, we are not a couple,' or 'There is a perfectly logical explanation for the handcuffs other than what you are thinking.' The latter sounded best. The former seemed to hit a little too close to home, and not in an entirely pleasant way.

L pouted slightly. "I never asked for it, Raito-kun. Nor did I even ask for the sweets."

"You didn't have to ask, the question was all over your face," Raito almost chuckled at the look of annoyance that crossed L's face. Who'd have thought that he could actually bait the detective? This truly was a most intriguing discovery. "I'm only teasing, Ryuuzaki," he grinned.

L stared back at him accusingly. "That's what I'm afraid of."

What was that supposed to mean?

Just at that moment, L's pocket began to play a mutilated version of Ode to Joy. Fishing into his pocket, Ryuuzaki extracted his trilling phone and flipped it open, holding it at arm's length. "Yes? Ah, Watari…"

Raito fidgeted with the red and gold bag containing Misa's earrings as Ryuuzaki mumbled into the receiver. Then something caught his attention. L's eyes had suddenly lit up, and he positively fumbled over his words. What had Watari just said? Raito watched L in wonderment.

"…what? No, not at all…why?"

Raito stared at L curiously. _What's wrong?_ He mouthed the question at the detective, only to have a hand waved at him in dismay.

"…ah? Truly? I see…No, I just told you. What was that? _NO_. I just _told_ you Watari." L was becoming positively irate for the spidery youth's standards. There was almost an expression other than a stark stare on his face.

Raito's fingers dug into the carrier bag, nerves taking control. What could possibly be wrong? Had there been another murder? One closer to home? Had Watari just found something incriminating about Raito? The suspense was killing him. A cold sweat had broken out down his back, trickling down the groove of his spine.

There was a frown on L's face now, pallid complexion even paler than usual. It must be something particularly important. Raito was fascinated, yet also filled with a vague sense of dread. "You're over-reacting, Watari... I'll be fine… I _am_ fine, Honestly."

Even the sale's assistant seemed fascinated now. Raito was critically aware of the gaggle of shoppers who had slowed down, still not looking at him or L, but definitely listening in on the conversation. How humiliating. Should he chase them away with a look? Perhaps. He wanted to find out what was going on just as much, if not more than they did though.

L sighed, rolling his eyes. He turned and seemed to glare at the phone as if by will alone he could make the man on the other end see his point of view. "Do I have to explain it to you again, Watari? The answer is still no. You can ask Raito-kun as well... there's nothing wrong with my being out here with him." Another pause. "I don't see why you're so worried, Watari…No. I'm sure. There's nothing to worry about."

A couple of seconds. Raito could hear the muffled tone of Watari's voice down the receiver. There seemed to be a note of panic, or possibly anger. Did he not know that L had left the building with Raito? Maybe he was worried about L being alone with a suspected mass-murderer. That must be it. It would explain why Ryuuzaki hadn't answered his mouthed question.

Raito leant back on his heels, expelling a sigh of mixed sorrow and resignation and closing his eyes briefly. Was everyone going to treat him like this until he was finally 'cleared'? As if he were someone not to be trusted, not to be considered worthy of sympathy. 'Innocent until proven guilty' was apparently an afterthought in the Kira investigation. He scuffed his feet against the plastic-coated tiles, crazily reflecting neon spotlights dotted above him. _How contemptible it all was_.

L seemed to have gone quiet again, and Raito afforded himself another scouting glance to see what the detective was up to. Ah, Watari seemed to have hung up. Ryuuzaki folded up the mobile phone with a decisive click. Slotting it back into his pocket, L blinked a bit and refocused, turning to Raito with a look of vague frustration. "Come on, Raito-kun, we have a few things to sort out back at work." He was careful not to use any overly informative details in the open.

"Like what?" asked Raito, more out of habit than real interest. He knew what was wrong. Watari didn't want L hanging around Raito unprotected if he truly was Kira. Even though the chances of the others being able to protect L, should the chance arise that Kira ever found out L's name and face, were slim to non-existent, the old man still wanted to keep Ryuuzaki in his sights. This just made Raito wonder whether or not Watari was actually related to the detective, rather than merely employed by him. Not that he could be certain of either.

"Well, in case you haven't gathered, Watari's a little nervous about me being out here with you." L stated the fact without emotion, eyes following the racks of dangling necklaces as if mesmerised by their clashing colours.

_He knew it_. Raito hung his head for a moment, and then began to wander out of the shop, dragging L after him and out of his shine-induced stupor. Startled, L followed Raito uncertainly. "Raito-kun?"

"You said it yourself; let's go." Raito continued to look straight ahead. Why should he even look at Ryuuzaki? The detective acknowledged that his most trusted advisor, or whatever Watari was, didn't trust him. Did he need to ask why Raito was so cold?

"If you insist," conceded L, trailing behind Raito. He could hear a calculating note in the spidery youth's voice though. Something that made him pause. Had he missed something? "What else did Watari have to say?" He decided to press on, regards of how accurate he was sure his earlier prediction had been.

"Not much else," replied L flippantly. "He seemed rather taken aback by his discovery."

"Discovery?" Oh… hang on a minute…

L made a noise somewhere between a snort and a chuckle. Raito couldn't tell which it was, and from this angle, couldn't see Ryuuzaki's eyes to even make a valid judgment. "The security tapes, Raito-kun. You do remember that Watari is responsible for screening those tapes after I have finished with them, to make sure that I haven't missed anything? Raito-kun?" L's eyes widened as Raito spun around, seeming to loom over the detective and grow a couple of inches in the process. The look on L's face would have been priceless had the sociopath teenager not been so irate as to not even notice it.

"_You didn't wipe those tapes?"_

"Why would I, Raito-kun?" queried L mildly, rallying himself and staring back mildly at the ire-struck megalomaniac. "After all, those tapes are pertinent to the case, as they involve your actions as a suspect."

"They also involve _other_ actions that aren't pertinent to the case!" hissed Raito loudly. A couple of passers-by stopped in their tracks at the venom in his voice. Had Raito been thinking clearly, he might have been concerned by the number of innocent bystanders that were amassing nearby, not to mention how peculiar he looked, towering over a spindly young man, to whom he was also handcuffed.

L returned his retort with a level stare, charcoal coloured bangs obscuring his face. "If you regret an action, Yagami-kun, then you should not partake in it. That much is common sense."

Was that a challenge? "I don't regret my actions back then," shot back Raito. It shocked him a little to see L flinch. The detective positively seemed not to know how to react to that revelation. Was Ryuuzaki finally at a loss for words?

"If you don't regret them, Raito-kun, then you should not regret others also knowing about them." _Apparently not_.

"There's a difference," gasped Raito, forcing his emotions back under some semblance of control. "I would have preferred to be the one to break information such as that which happened back then to the team _myself_, rather than have them pawing through the files and discovering it by accident." _Obviously. _

"Then why didn't you?" L shot the question at him instantly. Raito baulked. "What kind of a question is that?" he hissed, "do you honestly think that I would suddenly announce to the team, 'oh, guess what guys, I'm not only the main suspect in this case, but I've also kissed the lead detective!' especially if I didn't even know how he felt about it?"

Judging by the fact that even more people were staring at him, Raito began to consider the fact that he might have been wiser to lower his voice in making that little statement. Hm. Hindsight is a wonderful invention. As is self-control. Why had his near-legendary reserve of it given up on him just when he needed it most? Raito shuddered, staring angrily at the floor. Brilliant. _Just brilliant._

L looked as if someone had just emptied a bucket of water over his head. Or at least, his eyes held the right expression for it, since his hair normally looked like that anyway. He was staring at Raito as if he had never seen him before. Then he cleared his throat, staring flatly back at the teenager. A sense of foreboding settled in Raito's head. This wasn't going to be good. Whatever rationality he had lost in making his announcement-question, he had regained and was now currently wishing that he could find a large rock to hide under.

"I'll tell you my answer, Raito-kun, when I know it myself," deadpanned Ryuuzaki. His eyes were as expressionless as his voice. "Until then, you must understand that as the lead suspect in this case, I cannot let any of your acts or words go unsupervised." With that, he began to slouch off, heading towards the exit.

"Hurry up. The chauffeur's been sent down."

Glowering and conflicted, Raito grudgingly following after the detective. He ignored the small herd of onlookers who had been watching to see how the drama played out. It occurred to him later, after having given Misa her gift of rosebud earrings and withstood the consequential unwanted showering of adoration, that the questions that L had been asking had not been those of one defending his right to video the actions of one who was in custody.

They had been those of one who wants to know if the whole act hadn't been just that; an act.


	10. Chapter 10

Wild-filly: Greetings and apologies for my absence

Disclaimer: wild-filly does not own Death Note. Sad, isn't it? You can still check out the assorted drawings accompanying Mind Games though!

………

Mind Games

Chapter Ten: Mere Words

……….

_Come break me down_

_Bury me, bury me_

_I am finished with you, _

_Look in my eyes_

_You're killing me, killing me_

_All I wanted was you_

Raito had a situation on his hands. Again.

Now, this was hardly an unusual state of affairs, since technically the last few months of his life could equate to being a 'situation' of sorts. After all, most people would refer to being hand cuffed to the best three detectives in the world, conveniently embodied in one paranoid panda-like youth, as something approaching a detrimental scenario. Not Raito, however. For a genius such as him, this just added to the interest value of his ploy for world domination, among other things.

Okay, mind out of the gutter now please.

Today's situation differed from the usual state of uncomfortable social interactions in that now it involved an unforeseen third party. Namely Watari. Yes, the older man had chosen to go through the security cameras, and had been somewhat troubled by the events that he had then witnessed. Raito still couldn't believe that L had actually had the nerve to leave those videos unedited. I mean, he himself would have cropped the footage within minutes of it being taken. Indeed, that had been his plan, before L had decided to convolute his train of thought by proposing his consideration of the matter.

Oh how tangled the web had become. Raito rolled the thought around his head for a moment, and then discarded it with disgust. _Later_. He had a case to work on. Sort of.

At the moment, L was plugged into his computer, carefully surveying the latest of Raito's findings. Considering those had amounted to nil and nothing, technically it shouldn't be taking him so long to read. In fact, if Raito hadn't known better, he would have thought that the detective was using the mask of reading Raito's files in order to contemplate something else. Something that was making him twist his pale features into a positive expression of annoyance. Was that embarrassment in there as well? Raito couldn't quite tell from this angle. After all, he himself was supposed to be researching too.

"Raito-kun, you've found something?"

Oops. He hastily picked up another piece of paper and squinted at it thoughtfully. "Thought I had for a moment there, but it seems not." _Nice excuse_…how often had he used it now? L shuffled in his seat and turned away, resuming his pensive scanning of the screen before him. He should be more careful. L was almost as much of an expert on body language as he was, even if he still couldn't pass for normal in the weirdest of crowds.

Speaking of which, he was now quite certain that the detective was on edge. Not that the rest of the crew could tell. They weren't spending every waking moment (and all of the sleeping ones for that matter) with the spindly intellectual, so they didn't have the extra experience in reading L's extremely subtle cues. Raito was impressed even with himself; not that that didn't happen a lot, of course. The slight creases at the corners of L's eyes, the smallest of clenches in his jaw flew to his attention. That miniscule bead of sweat seeping onto the ridge of his hairline. The detective rarely sweated. Raito considered the possibility of his rival having a fever. After all, to actually show that much human discomfort, the detective must have come down with something life threatening.

"Yagami-kun, could you possibly do something other than stare at my forehead?"

Bugger. New excuse, quickly! Raito blinked as if waking from a dream. "I was staring? Sorry… I was lost in my thoughts for a while there."

L stared at him expectantly. "And?"

His mind raced, "I was just thinking that a number of Kira's recent victims have resulted in the direct benefits of certain members of the Yotsuba group. If we look closely at these members, I think we'd stand a better chance of finding Kira, rather than trawling through the lists of every single employee they have going." _There, in the clear._

L stared at him coolly. "I know, Yagami-kun. I figured that out some time ago. Have you anything else to add?"

_Then why didn't you say anything?_ The angry retort welled in Raito's mind, but he carefully suppressed it. Starting an argument wouldn't help his case any. Besides, L hardly ever gave away his main plans. That was a central part to his identity, along with not wearing socks.

"Fair enough," chuckled Raito forcibly. "I just thought I'd bring it up either way. Sometimes talking about things in the open makes them clearer." He shot the sideways comment towards L, knowing that the detective wouldn't miss its other meaning. It would fly easily over the heads of the others, but certainly not the detective.

Sadly, L stared at him owlishly, but gave no sign that he interpreted the comment other than on face value. "I wasn't decrying your analytical ability, Raito-kun. I was merely highlighting the fact that I had already considered that possibility and have in fact already been running a scan for the last two hours or so." He gestured vaguely towards his computer, dragging up a couple of windows that Raito hadn't even noticed. _Damn. _There went his pride again. Maybe he should acquire a spade in order to dig it up; this was happening too frequently for his tastes.

The rest of the team shuffled in their seats. Raito's father looked up, frown lines creasing into even deeper trenches as he met Ryuuzaki's eyes. "Do you think that we have a potential culprit yet?" _Other than my son_, finished Raito lazily. He felt sorry for his father. Sometimes.

"Who can say?" replied L mildly. He toyed absent-mindedly with his patisserie fork, prodding at the glistening custard Danish in front of him, picking at a straw blueberry. "We're getting closer all the time. Kira may be among the members of Yotsuba. It's more likely than not." He shot a very pointed look at Raito, who nearly jumped despite himself.

"Good," he recovered, glaring faintly. "The sooner we catch Kira, the better," he asserted firmly. _He still suspects me, even now?_ But of course; he admonished himself even as the thought flitted through his head. _This is L after all. _Any feelings that he might have, _whatever _feelings he might have for Raito came second to the case.

And Raito had never been more painfully aware of that fact than now.

As L returned his attention once again to his trawling of Raito's paperwork and the most important members of the Yotsuba corporations, the other youth ducked his head down. Staring without seeing at the paper, he noted that his vision swam in and out of focus, turning the neat lines of text into a watery blur. Maybe he needed glasses. Or a holiday. Or maybe a more interesting paper. He watched L from out the corner of his eyes, simultaneously flicking through the file and scratching the odd note in the margins.

Yes. The detective was definitely not feeling himself. Raito knew for certain that he was the only one who could tell. Matsuda's banter in the background mixed with the grunted remarks of the other investigation members had continued as usual, even despite L's quirky signals. Nothing within their words suggested that they had noticed that anything was wrong with Ryuuzaki. To be honest, nothing within L's own words or actions suggested that anything was wrong. Raito could just tell that something strange was going on; that was all.

The telephone at L's wrist started to buzz. With a small flinch, the detective started, and then stared at the trilling device for a moment before reaching out to carefully hold it near his ear, fingers splayed as if it might bite. Raito suppressed a snigger at the sight. It still amazed him that L would hold everything as if it were poisonous or somehow repulsive to him. However, as he caught the tone of the voice on the other end of the receiver, Raito instantly came out in sympathy for the detective. Maybe a little more than sympathetic though.

"Watari? What's going on?" L's question was slightly flinty. He listened in silence for a while, grunted something in the affirmative and then replace the receiver with a dull clack. Nobody said a word, but Raito could taste the tension in the air. Nosy as ever they were…

At last Aizawa sat up straight in his chair, pen poised over his stack of documents on the most recent murder. "What's going on, Ryuuzaki?"

"Nothing," replied L quietly. "It was just Watari checking to see that I approved of his next move." The calm response seemed to satisfy the other members of the squad, but instead it stabbed at Raito's attention. _What next move?_ It was no secret that Watari disliked Raito; the anxiety in his voice over the phone at the mall had certainly not been concealed, but what did L mean by 'next move'? Was he going to arrange for a third person to be shackled to L, to make sure that Raito didn't do anything 'improper' to his employer, or something equally unsettling?

Oh gods, please no. Now was not a good time to consider just how more awkward his situation could be made. Raito massaged his temples in a minor effort to calm his own nerves. This world domination business had been an awful lot simpler when he was just killing people. At least there hadn't been the whole messy issue of morality involved, and his own feelings on matters.

"What is Watari doing?" he asked L conversationally, probing for more clues under a skilful guise of polite conversation. "Have you been able to narrow down the field of suspects any more?" He hitched a slightly reproachful look onto his calculating face. "I'm still a little wounded that you didn't expand on that idea with the rest of us." _But I'm even more wounded that Watari was able to watch my last embarrassing action in slow motion replay._ He ground his teeth slightly over the words, certain that anyone who might hear it would attribute it to a different brand of frustration. More or less certain, at least. He was relatively confident that _only_ Watari had watched those videos.

L angled his head towards Raito, still staring blankly at his computer desktop. "That's not your concern for now, Raito-kun. Watari is conducting independent research on a matter unrelated to the Yotsuba case. We are capable of following several different threads of interest within one investigation team." He straightened his head and resumed ignoring Raito, eyes glazed with concentration.

How much more vague of an answer could he have given? Raito glared poisonously at the fluffy, unkempt back of L's head and scored a couple of lines out of his newest page of notes, pen digging into the paper vindictively. Watari was up to something. Something that involved Raito. Something that Raito was not overly convinced that was in his best interests. Was Watari running background checks on all of Raito's past significant others, to see if he posed a threat to the innocence of his employer? Oh gods, why did he just think of that? Bad thoughts, Raito, _very_ bad thoughts. Let's get off that track while he still can. Kira case; now that was a wholesome topic to be thinking of; murders and megalomania.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. Watari didn't like Raito. Raito distrusts Watari. There may be a scheme involving Watari and L that would make Raito either one; more like Kira than ever; two; the laughing stock of the investigation; or three; unlikely to ever receive an answer from L regarding his opinion of Raito as a person, and not as a Kira suspect. In other words, this was not a good thing. How could Raito thwart the old geezer's potential plot? Provided this plot even existed, and wasn't just a figment of his over-tired, emotionally fraught imagination.

Actually, he was seriously beginning to wonder whether he was developing a moderate case of paranoia.

"Raito-kun? You look rather pale. Are you unwell?" Raito flinched as Matsuda clapped a hand on his shoulder, youthfully naïve features close to his own and wide with concern. "Do you need some fresh air?" At those words, Raito saw his father sit up and gaze worriedly at his son. _Damn_. This could get complicated. Or could it?

"Maybe, Matsuda-san," muttered Raito, raising his hand to his brow as if to test his own temperature. "I'm feeling a little shaky, that's all."

"You've been working too hard, Raito," said Yagami swiftly, rising from his chair and moving to Raito's side before he could even protest. "When was the last time you took a break? You're pushing yourself too hard for someone your age."

Raito waved his father away, vaguely annoyed at the attention despite himself. He was legally an adult, wasn't he? Never mind. This could actually work to his favour. It was time for a sneaky little plan… "I'll be fine. Ryuuzaki needs to work, so let's not worry about me. Just need some aspirin or something." He glanced shyly up at his father, letting a wistful, fatigued expression slide onto his face. The most important prop: self-sacrifice and resigned determination. Instantly concern etched itself more deeply into the lines of his father's face. _Perfect_.

"Ryuuzaki, I must ask if you could give Raito some time off. Just a few hours to rest would be fine. He's no use to the investigation if he's exhausted." Yagami rounded on L, who still hadn't taken his eyes off the screen, even during Matsuda's query after Raito's health. Raito had to applaud the detective on his skill at affecting stoicism. Even _he_ had been hard pressed to notice the distracted flicker of Ryuuzaki's eyes to Raito's reflection on his computer the moment Matsuda had spoken. His father stared pointedly at the detective, stance firm with his resolve. "I'm asking you with great sincerity," he enforced. "This is important."

"I know it's important, Yagami-san," intoned L quietly, mouse skating over the screen to bring up another table of employees. "Not just to you, but to the rest of the team, and especially to Yagami-kun." Another series of clicks, L's eyes flitted over the screen as he trawled through name after name, opening a multitude of files as he went. "This case is demanding a lot from everybody," he continued in the same passive, lifeless voice. "However, we cannot all simply stop because of physical, or indeed, mental desires."

"This isn't a case of 'physical or mental desires', Ryuuzaki. This is the health of my son we're talking about," answered Yagami, voice strong with the conviction that only a parent could have. "He does not yet have the same ability as you to work tirelessly with limited sleep and little social interaction or ventures outside. Please bear in mind that up until recently, Raito has been leading a normal, healthy lifestyle. You can't expect him to adjust to the regime of this investigation with no adverse effects."

Raito was silent, watching first his father, and then affixing his attention on L. The detective's eyes were even more heavily-lidded than usual, expression blank and unreadable. How much had Ryuuzaki actually said when he spoke? He considered feeling offended by his father's heavy-handed analysis of Raito's working abilities, but was too intrigued by L's response to really care.

"No, I cannot," conceded L, lips pursed as he typed a brief note on a separate document. "That would be unreasonable."

Raito saw the tensed muscles of his father's shoulder blades relax. "So will you let Raito off the chain for a while to rest? If necessary, I will stay with him. You can have as many cameras around as you wish just the same."

"No, Yagami-san, that will not be necessary." L's head was lowered as he rose from his chair, unfolding coiled legs and placing them softly on the cold tiles, feet merging silently with the floor. Heavy black bangs fell in front of his eyes, hiding his face from view. "If Raito-kun has become ill because of my lifestyle, then Raito-kun will become well again because of my lifestyle. His discomfort is entirely my fault." He leant briefly over the keyboard, typing on the keys in a rapidfire motion. Raito watched in astonishment as all of the opened windows closed off instantly and the lanky detective turned to face him.

Misreading the surprise in Raito's face, L shook his head slightly. "I've done all I can on this section of the case for now. I shall check back in a couple of hours for replies to my emails, requesting detailed background information on sixty-four Yotsuba officials."

"Couldn't you have called the company?" L glanced over at Matsuda, who had voiced the question. Patiently he replied, "Not exactly, Matsuda-san, since a direct call to the company for information would instantly spark alarm. This route is indirect, but a lot safer." The young man flushed with embarrassment while Ryuuzaki just stared at the ceiling passively. "It should take my contacts a few hours to get back to me with the necessary information. In that time, Raito-kun may do as he sees fit. I owe him that much."

Confound that guttural mind of his.

"A-are you sure that's okay, Ryuuzaki?" asked Raito, lacing his voice with just the right amount of reluctance and apprehension. "There are plenty of other things you could be doing. I just need some aspirin, I'm sure I'll be fine." His father however, was shaking his head. "That won't do, Raito. You've been looking more and more under the weather with each passing day. You need a rest. Even if it is only a brief break for a few hours." Obviously his father was less than pleased with the small, proffered concession, but was willing to accept it for now.

L rolled his eyes, slouching over to Raito. He stared down at the other youth and Raito immediately experienced the sensation that he was being x-rayed. There was something critical in that stare, as if L could tell that Raito's 'illness' was not as authentic as he was making it out to be. Well, it wasn't as if he was lying, Raito reasoned. All of the work _had_ given him a headache, not to mention the limited amount of sleep and the mental trauma. Well, maybe that trauma was self-inflicted, considering he _was_ Kira after all. But still, Ryuuzaki couldn't exactly accuse him of lying about being under the weather. Not when all the evidence pointed to the contrary.

"It will be okay for a little while," he replied at last, voice bored. "I daresay the investigation won't suffer disastrously from a break. Kira hasn't killed anyone today, so the workload won't fluctuate." There was an accusing note in those words, and Raito was tempted for a moment to smack the detective on the head. _For crying out loud, he wasn't convicted yet, so stop blaming him for deaths he technically was, but legally wasn't responsible for yet! _However, Raito kept the pleasant, strained expression pasted on his features. "That's good to hear, on all counts." Ryuuzaki just shrugged at him by way of a response. "Come on."

Staggering out of his own chair, Raito followed L to the door, rubbing at his forehead in a suitably distressed fashion as the eyes of the rest of the team watched them leave. At the doorframe, L stopped, turning back to survey them. "Just continue as you were. If there are any important messages, or any notes of interest, please come and find me." With that, he shuffled out of the room, completely ignoring Raito.

As Raito followed the spindly detective through the winding halls of his custom-designed headquarters, he noted with some interest that Ryuuzaki was making a profound effort to ignore him. It wasn't just that the detective wasn't talking to him, but that everything in L's body language spoke of isolation. The hunch of his shoulders, the guarded way his elbows jutted out, hands thrust deeply into his pockets. It was as if the detective had built up a protective sphere around himself; one that Raito could not penetrate, even if he were to stop the skinny youth and confront him on the issue. Plus there was the fact that they were heading in a completely new and untrialed direction for Raito. He didn't recognise any of the rooms he was passing, and barely recognised Ryuuzaki for that matter. He had never seen the detective so sullen.

In fact, it occurred to Raito that the one most in need of a break was probably Ryuuzaki. He had never seen the prodigy so tense and locked up before, not even when he had him pinned in the most compromising of positions. Ah… there were some memories perhaps better kept out of his mind for the moment.

A grunt from L caught Raito's attention. They had made it to one of the spare rooms, it would seem. There was no one in sight, or anything else of note for that matter. With a click, Ryuuzaki gently pushed the door open and slouched inside. Raito followed cautiously, eyes swiftly taking in the surroundings. A couple of sofas, an ornate coffee table, a large plasma TV mounted on the wall, flanked by a small bar fridge. There was a desk set up in the corner, complete with humming computer monitor. Someone had been in here already and set it up. Raito suspected Watari, and consequently also suspected that there would be a collection of security cameras stationed around the place. Did he dare to confront L in this place? Did he dare to confront L at all for that matter?

There was a dull clunk, followed by a _thunk_ as L pulled the heavy door shut and depressed a button, sending a series of deadlocks slamming into their places with a pneumatic hiss. He then faced Raito, eyes unfathomable, and raised his handcuffed hand. "Do you want me to take this off?"

Raito faltered. "What? Why are you asking me?"

L just blinked at him, no emotion given away by his cryptic expression. "Do you want them off, or no?"

"No," replied Raito softly. "It would jeopardise the case if you did. If I'm to be surveyed constantly in order to prove my innocence, then I might as well do it properly, no?" He searched L's eyes for a response, but received none. The detective merely stared at him for a moment, and then turned away. "Watari will be here soon with aspirin if you still want it. Only he knows the combination to the door from the outside. Otherwise, you may do as you wish. Play on the computer, watch television. Whatever it is that adolescents do to relax. I could even send off for some sort of video game console."

Now it was Raito's turn to stare. "Ryuuzaki, I don't need that kind of thing. Honestly, I'm just tired and stressed. I only want to rest a little."

L inclined his head as if perplexed. "Then rest," he said simply. "I won't stop you."

_Actually you will, because the idea of you sitting there and watching me sleep would certainly put me off sleeping._ Raito kept that thought to himself, and shrugged nonchalantly as he adopted a façade of sleepiness. Pretending to doze would allow him to watch L from beneath his eyelids. Maybe he'd learn soemthing that way. He meandered over to one of the sofas and sunk gratefully into its thick, padded depths, Ryuuzaki following as the chain's length demanded. The detective sat down quietly on the chair opposite, curling his legs up underneath him and staring vacantly up at the ceiling. Raito couldn't help but stare at him. _This is so peculiar I don't even know what to do_. For one of only a handful of times in his life, Raito didn't know what to do or say. Honestly, he had never anticipated something like this happening. What was L thinking?

"You are probably wondering why I've brought you to this room, rather than to our normal quarters."

_Spot on_ _question one_. Raito jerked his head upwards, fixing his attention fully on the detective. "Are you going to tell me why?"

L rolled his eyes downwards, watching Raito carefully, head rocked backwards. "There are no cameras in this room. Nor are there any microphones. As you can see, there are no windows, so no one can see into this room, nor hear what goes on inside it. The walls are soundproofed and the door is locked." His eyes were harsh, scrutinising for any response of any degree.

"The others know where we are though. And I could simply hit that button to unlock the door," pointed out Raito. What was with this interview? This was not like L at all, even for his paranoid standards.

"True," conceded L, "but considering the layout of this building, and the lack of privacy in all of the other rooms, this one is particularly significant. You could say or do almost anything you wanted here."

Raito blinked, lowering his head meditatively. _But that's not why I'm here. _"So, as far as I can tell, you brought me to this room in order to speak to me openly. Openly where no one else could eavesdrop, or view the footage afterwards." He opened his eyes again, only to narrow them. "You're going to tell me something that you don't want the others to hear. Something that may or may not be relevant to the case," he mused aloud. "I doubt, however, that this is part of the case. You wouldn't have brought me here if it were just something to do with the case. This must be something more important, or at least, more awkward for you."

L's midnight eyes were level on his own. "Very astute, Raito-kun. Would you like to state the obvious some more, or are you finished?"

_Ouch_. Raito returned the gaze mildly as his mind whirred overtime. L was willing to admit that this was not to do with the case. L was also uncharacteristically cold and tense. This was something to do with himself and Raito; it had to be. Was this the reason why L had been so distant in the investigation room? Had he been toying with his answer this whole time? Was his answer the reason behind his icy demeanour? Did that mean that his answer was in the negative?

Raito realised that breath no longer seemed to flow easily to and from his chest. Something was blocking his throat. The same toxin seemed to have penetrated his chest, as his labouring breathing also constricted his heart. It felt as if something was squeezing his ribcage within the clamps of a vice. Was this what emotion was for other people too? Was this what is meant to be fretful of rejection or acceptance? Raito had never been rejected, but now he honestly did not know what was going to happen. Was this what fear was to normal people? A thin sheen of sweat had broken out across his face, and he loathed himself for it. Foolishness! He couldn't let L know that he was concerned about what he thought about him! Couldn't let L know just how much his answer might mean to him. Especially couldn't let him know how deeply a rejection would cut him.

Blinking demurely, L gazed critically at Raito. Again he felt as if the detective's sombre black pupils were staring directly through him. It was uncomfortable. It was shameful_. It was terrifying_. "I take your silence means 'no' then." Raito could only nod tightly in response. A feeling of self-loathing had gripped him even as he found himself struck dumb by nerves. _Pitiful_. Your _rival_ of all people; the only person who can destroy you utterly; and you have _given_ him this power over you. Why in the name of all things holy had he allowed L to control his being in such an unfamiliar way?

He remarked, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he had never had a choice in the matter.

L was watching him even more carefully now. It was impossible that he had not noticed Raito's inner conflict, which even now had spread to his face. He could feel his muscles tensing, and a nervous twitch flickering over his lips. He wasn't masking his emotions properly any more! Panic briefly gripped him, and Raito forced himself to adopt an expression of calm, ignoring the cold sweat that still beaded his forehead. Madness…

"I wanted to speak to you directly, Raito-kun," spoke L again, in a voice so faint that Raito had to strain to hear it. "You asked me something important to you not very long ago. You asked me to think about it. And I have been. I have been thinking about it for more time than I ought to, considering the importance of our investigation."

Raito felt something clench and rupture inside his chest. That message was clear enough. L still valued the Kira case over anything else. His reputation as a detective wasn't what drove him, but rather a pursuit of justice so integral to his identity that he couldn't avoid it. And yet even with that fact in mind, L had still taken time out to consider Raito's dilemma. Perhaps even make it his dilemma as well.

L was staring at him with a peculiar look in his eyes. It was as if he had spotted something enthralling directly behind him. Raito blinked, wondering if he looked half as stressed as he felt. "What's wrong, Ryuuzaki?" he asked hoarsely, words almost dying as he spoke, breath unsteady.

And then they were in pitch darkness.

"Damn…" If Raito hadn't been hastily prodding his brain back into life at this sudden, most unanticipated falling into complete blackness, he might have been somewhat amused to hear the detective curse. He felt the links of the chain shake, and then heard their gentle clink as L clambered off the cushiony sofa and lumbered over towards the door. The relentless tug dragged him to his feet. "Wait a moment, Ryuuzaki," muttered Raito, fumbling in the darkness. With a small yelp he clutched at his left kneecap after attempting to move it to somewhere further down his shin, courtesy of the glass and iron-wrought coffee table.

"Are you okay?" L's question was quick off the mark, catching Raito by surprise even as he fought the tears that had sprung to his eyes from the more than moderate pain he was currently experiencing in his incapacitated state.

"Fine," he hissed through gritted teeth. "Just hit myself off that table." _Curse those inanimate objects for conspiring against me_.

L clucked; a most unusual noise to hear coming from the detective. Was it sympathetic, or the closest thing the detective was allowing himself to a snigger? Raito wasn't sure. "Can you walk?"

"Of course I can," insisted Raito, mortified. A mere table couldn't bring down Kira! Not that it hadn't made a rather brave attempt at it. Probing his knee gingerly, Raito was certain that he could feel a perfect indentation of the glass corner and iron-wrought leaf that supported it. Delightful. At least he had a memento to mark the occasion of his near-crippling experience.

L sighed, breath whistling slightly in the dark. "Be careful. The door isn't that far away."

"Will it still work if the lights aren't operating?"

"We'll see." Oh. So it was going to be one of _those_ moments.

Carefully picking his way across the room, Raito worked on keeping the chain length taut in order to determine how far away L was, and how best to avoid knocking into him. Not that that idea upset him very much. He just didn't think that the detective would appreciate it, especially since he could be sent flying into a pot plant with one misappropriated slip. He felt the detective pause, chain links clinking metallically as he halted. They must have reached the side of the room. Even with his eyes adjusting to the dark, Raito couldn't even see his hand in front of his face. He'd never been in a darker room. Frankly it amazed him that L had even found the door, let alone not knocked into anything. He must have eyes like a cat, or maybe just a remarkably good memory. Effectively, either was possible.

He could hear the soft rise and fall of L's chest, rustling his baggy shirt; heard the crumple of fabric as the detective extended one arm in the dark, feeling the smooth surface of the wall for the door mechanism. A few moments of silence, and then a click.

Followed by nothing.

"Power cut," hissed Ryuuzaki. Frustration rode prominently in his voice.

"Don't worry about it," reassured Raito, wondering whether he was speaking the truth. "The others will get the power back on soon, and even if they don't, they'll know to come looking here."

"No, they won't," snipped L. Raito started. "What do you mean by that?"

"The investigation rooms are the most important ones, so they run on their own back-up generators, remember? Those generators don't last for more than six hours, but the transition from mains electricity to our own brand is near seamless. In other words, we could be stuck in here for six hours."

"Haven't you got your mobile with you?"

"It didn't occur to me to bring it."

Raito blinked. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Never better, why do you ask?" snapped L.

"Because you aren't yourself," reasoned Raito, shuffling back a couple of steps in the dark, in case the detective's eyesight was better than his and he was about to get smacked on the side of the head. "If you were behaving normally you would never have taken such a risk as to not bring your phone, or to not have someone check up on us frequently." _Not to mention you wouldn't be demonstrating so plebeian an emotion as annoyance._

"Watari's coming," said L sullenly. But even at that, Raito could hear the note of reluctance that the detective was masking.

"In how long?" asked Raito warily. "You told me that he'd be along soon with painkillers."

"It depends on how long you define 'soon'." Raito rolled his eyes. "You were determined to have a private conversation with me, so you told him not to come until you gave him a signal. Let me guess, that would be through the computer?"

"Very astute of you, Raito-kun."

"Wonderful," sighed Raito, fumbling for the back of the nearest sofa and leaning against it. This was going to get old _very_ quickly. "So we're stuck here for an indeterminate length of time?"

"In that many words, yes. Unless I can fuse the lock on the door."

"Can you?"

He could almost feel the heaviness of L's stare in the dark. "Of course I can. Provided I have the right tools. Did you happen to bring any insulated equipment? A screwdriver?"

"No, they were confiscated along with my pneumatic drill and brick-laying equipment," replied Raito sarcastically. "I'm not even allowed to walk into the main investigation rooms wearing a metal belt buckle, Ryuuzaki. Do you really think your security guards would let me carry a screwdriver around?"

"Obviously not, otherwise I would have to fire them," responded L stoically. "And I'm certain that that would upset their plans for having salaries."

Raito threw up his hands in disgust, ignoring the fact that he also yanked L's shackled arm at the same time. "Brilliant. What can we cobble together to open up the electric panel?"

"We could shatter the remote control for the television, or attempt to remove part of the frame of the coffee table. That is, of course, provided we can do these things in the dark without incurring injury and without additional equipment. And since the coffee table has already bested you in one fight, Raito-kun, I don't believe that this option is truly open to us."

"In other words, we just have to sit here." H ignored the jibe at his coordination.

"Pretty much, yes."

Raito let his weight slide to the floor, back flat against the sofa to support him. He shut his eyes as he did so, in a futile attempt to coax a little relaxation into his frazzled nerves. Ah well. At least the darkness was soothing for his eyes; tired and sore from staring at a computer monitor for the majority of his waking hours in the last few months. And it was quiet, save for Ryuuzaki's exasperated taps at the locking mechanism and pacing at the doorframe. Wasn't this just what he had needed?

He was locked in a dark enclosed space with the unpredictable, antisocial object of his sort-of affections, with no knowing how much longer he had before the two of them were 'rescued'.

What was he supposed to do?

"Raito-kun, we need to break out of here."

He opened his eyes blearily. "We'll be let out eventually, Ryuuzaki. There's no point in breaking up the furniture."

"There's an air vent wide enough for us to crawl through. I ensured that these rooms could be escaped from in case of emergencies. The ducts in the ceiling are not without their traps though, and it will take us a while to find a safe exit, but we can use it. It was an interesting task to design an escape route that couldn't be used by the wrong people as an entrance."

"No thank you," replied Raito.

"Whyever not?"

"I don't particularly want to navigate my way through the ceiling, without knowing what I'm doing or where I'm going in the pitch black. And I don't think that the handcuffs would make the process any easier for that matter."

Once again, he could feel L staring at him patronisingly. "The only difference I can see in that argument from describing our current situation is the word 'ceiling'."

Raito rolled his eyes, and winced, wishing that he hadn't. Maybe that fabricated headache wasn't as fake as he had thought it was. "Let's just stay here, Ryuuzaki. We'll be found eventually, and besides, this is quite a restful way to be."

A disgruntled cough from L suggested that the detective didn't hold Raito's opinion for much credit. "Do you want to stay in here?" It sounded almost like an accusation.

"There are worse places we could be," reasoned Raito. _Like jammed in an air vent, skirting possible 'traps' of L's own design_. He didn't even want to consider what those traps might be. Knowing L, they would be brutally efficient, and perhaps even slightly cruel and unusual, just for interest value. He couldn't really anticipate the detective in that field.

L snorted. Raito felt the other youth shuffle around, and fancied that he could vaguely pick out his hunched outline in the darkness. Could almost see the unbrushed chunks of his hair swish as he paused, level with Raito, to stare up at the ceiling. An uncomfortable feeling passed over the homicidal genius. Ryuuzaki was standing so close to him that he could feel the other man's body heat radiating through his clothing, could hear him clench his throat and swallow pensively. His ears even caught the sound of L drawing breath before he next spoke.

"Give me a boost up, Raito-kun."

The youth nearly choked. "What?"

"You heard me," said L firmly. "We're getting out of here. You boost me up there, then you can use the couch as a ladder and I'll support you with the chain. We're getting out of here. I've never had to be rescued from a locked room before, and I don't intend to add one such event to my life story now."

"Ah…" Raito's voice died. The detective had turned to him expectantly. He could feel L's eyes on him, stance decisive. Two thoughts sprang to mind; one, that he should boost the detective up there and follow orders; or two, he should boost the detective up there and then just refuse to enter. Did that even make sense? Raito ran a swift mental check of his brain's flawed solutions…In other words, he just wanted to- Gods! He shook his head furiously, clearing it. Luckily enough, L didn't notice the gesture. Nor, oddly enough, did he seem to realise just how awkward he had made Raito feel in the first place.

"Come on, Raito-kun," ordered L. "Help me up." There was no comprehension, no sympathy in L's voice.

"Ah… okay…" What else could he say? Raito could feel himself shaking as he reached out, hands trembling as he fumbled and then placed them on the detective's sides. L was even skinnier than he'd first thought. Every rib was rigid under his fingers, and for a moment, he was afraid that if he should clench his hands too tightly, he would snap Ryuuzaki in two. Those cakes really must have just been for show.

"Okay, the vent is directly above you. Just lift me up and I'll open it. It's not like I'm asking you anything difficult, Raito-kun." There was that patronising note again. It would have grated on Raito's nerves if they weren't already shot to pieces. Raito didn't trust himself to speak, so he just grunted in response. _Farewell, oh sanity_. Knees bracing, Raito shut his eyes reflexively as he tightened his grasp about L's spindly frame and lifted the lithe detective into the air. He nearly fell over as he did so. What did this guy live on? There was almost nothing to Ryuuzaki. The complete lack of body mass to the detective worked to temporarily divert Raito's attention from the embarrassing position that they were both in, but a mind as sharp as Raito's could only be distracted for so long.

L struggled slightly in Raito's clutches, inadvertently forcing the traumatised Raito to tighten his hold on the detective, instinctively drawing him in closer and resulting in his burying his face into the other youth's abdomen. He turned his head to the side, cheeks burning as he did so. Madness! He could feel stringy muscles expanding beneath his cheekbones as Ryuuzaki craned his free arm upwards, fiddling and toying with the seal on the air vent. The detective's one shackled hand rested almost unpleasantly comfortably on Raito's shoulder, perfectly relaxed. It was as if Raito were a cherry picker, or some other inanimate object, rather than a self-confessed…something. For crying out loud, he didn't even know the right word for his situation! Where had his famed eloquence gone? This was awful. He'd never felt so awkward in his life. Well… maybe not.

"Raito-kun, I can't quite reach from this angle." L's voice was vaguely annoyed. "Would you hold me up a little higher?"

Raito nodded. "Yes, Ryuuzaki." Then he froze. _Where_ would he have to hold the detective in order to raise him high enough? _Where_ would his face be?

"Raito wha-" The question was never completed, as the other genius buckled at the knees and fell to the floor, sending the detective flying, or more correctly, sprawling back to earth. The thin carpet was a poor cushion between Raito's frame and the thick concrete floor, sending shockwaves through his form complete with complementary bruising. L however, was fortunate in that his landing was cushioned by the slightly softer floor covering that was Raito. Raito winced as something; most probably L's left elbow; buried itself between his shoulder blades and forced a gasp from his battered chest.

"R-Raito-kun?" He could hear nothing but surprise in Ryuuzaki's shaken voice. "What happened? I'm not that heavy, am I?"

"N-No," gasped Raito, still busy running a system's check to confirm that everything he owned was in fact still in one piece. It felt as if he'd shattered something on his way down to the ground. Possibly his pride. "Just l-lost my balance there. I'm not used to holding people up."

"Ah." L's response was as informative as his face, which was hidden in the shadows and also located somewhere behind Raito's head. There was something else bothering him; Raito could tell. The major giveaway here was that the contact-phobic detective was still sprawled on top of him. In a rather uncomfortable fashion, he had to admit. And for more reasons other than the collection of joints that were stabbing him in inopportune places. Okay, time to end that train of thought.

"You okay, Ryuuzaki?" Raito mumbled the question into the carpet. It was the thought that counted; not the direction.

"Mostly."

"Mostly?"

"My ankle doesn't appear to be functioning normally."

Raito swore internally. Confound his clumsiness! That one casual remark that Ryuuzaki had made; that one, somehow innocent request had made him act like an idiot and cause injury to the detective. That spindly, aggravating, suspicious, socially retarded and intellectually brilliant person seated on his spine that was the detective. Raito's self-loathing hit a newfound high for a whole new reason. How delightful. "I'm sorry, Ryuuzaki. Really, really sorry. Can you move it?" For some reason, it didn't occur to Raito to tell Ryuuzaki to get off. His brain seemed quiet content to bypass that little instruction for the moment.

"Yes, but not without exceptional pain." There was something almost like wonder in L's voice. Raito could feel the detective experimentally twitching his foot, which was consequently tapping him on the back of the calf. It was ticklish, and more than a little… odd. In a good way, but not in a good way for the moment. Not if L was actually hurt. Otherwise…Raito slapped himself mentally. _Get a grip_! For crying out loud, he'd had enough emotions in the past hour to last him the rest of the year, or possibly even his lifetime.

"Move over a little," he asked finally. "I'll take a look."

"How, precisely?" chipped L.

"It's a figure of speech, Ryuuzaki," muttered Raito, swivelling underneath the detective. Well, he couldn't exactly tell where he was at the moment. At least he was sitting up. There seemed to be bits of L everywhere he turned. Maybe he shouldn't turn any more. "Where's your ankle?"

"Here, ah- _not_ there, Raito-kun." What the hell had he just grabbed? Raito moved his hand away hurriedly. "Stay still a moment. Put your chained hand on your ankle and I'll follow the chain." He heard the sharp _chinks _of the chain's small metal links as Ryuuzaki moved his arm. That was better. Raito stretched his arm out until the chain pulled taut, then began to trace his way down its length.

"Ah, Ryuuzaki? I think you're tangled in the chain."

There was a stony silence. "I'm not the only one, Raito-kun."

Oh bugger. "Right, where can you feel the chain?"

"Most everywhere, Raito-kun. I can't move my other arm at all. There are a couple of lines going across my back."

"Okay, your back," repeated Raito, head spinning. _What in the name of all things holy had they gotten themselves into?_ "Let's try to untangle that first." Tentatively, he reached out in the darkness, and then hastily retreated as L yelped plaintively.

"That was my _eye_, Yagami-kun."

"Sorry, sorry," panted Raito, breathless in shock and embarrassment. "Look, how about you try to untangle yourself a little?" There were a couple of rustles, an exasperated grunt, and then Raito's chin came to know the chain on a rather more personal level than previously before.

"Sorry, Raito-kun," L hastily apologised. "I heard a clunk; what happened?"

"Nothing much," mumbled Raito around what felt like a mouthful of broken teeth. "Just the chain hitting me." L was a genius; he could figure out where. "Mind being a little more careful?"

"This is ridiculous," growled L softly. Raito felt the detective sit up as straight as his permanently hunched spine and chain bindings would allow him. "This is not what I had in mind for this meeting."

"What did you have in mind?" asked Raito quietly. It occurred to him that L's struggles had relocated the detective into a rather novel position; namely seated directly in front of him. He couldn't see a thing, but he could feel the breeze as Ryuuzaki exhaled. His breath smelt of some kind of sugary product. Not altogether unpleasant. Warmth radiated from the spidery figure, and so did the crisp scent of clean laundry. Raito had never taken the time to notice it before. Or at least, had never had the opportunity to do so. All of his other close encounters with the detective had all been either his own fault, or extremely nerve wracking.

"Not this," sighed L, shuffling where he sat. Raito flinched as warm, bare skin moved under his fingertips. L's arm? His shirt must have snagged somewhere. He couldn't see a damned thing in this room. "I was going to speak to you in a perfectly proper manner, and then have us return to the case, personal matters safely to one side. I did not anticipate becoming locked in a dark room, and then tangled in a chain while my ankle swells before my eyes, provided of course I could see out of them." Raito had rarely heard such bitterness come from the detective. Never on anything outside of the Kira case, that is.

"To be honest, I didn't really see this coming either," replied Raito calmly, steeling himself as his libido began to make snide comments to his conscience. "I think the main thing to do at the moment is get untangled, sort out your ankle, and just wait for the others to let us out or for the power to come back on."

"Obscene," snorted L softly. "Two people of our mental calibre, and we can't even make it out of a locked room without serious injury."

Raito grinned despite himself. "Well, if this is what's happened to us, and we're the brains of the Kira investigation, just think what would have happened if this were Matsuda or anyone else."

L coughed, maybe to conceal a snigger. "That was cruel, Raito-kun."

"Accurate though," chuckled Raito. _I've officially lost my mind_. He reached out again, cautiously, and thankfully found L's shoulder. Hand burrowed briefly into the loose fabric, he gripped the detective's narrow shoulder in a companionable way. "Don't worry about it. These things supposedly happen to the best of us."

"It would seem so," murmured L. Beneath Raito's fingertips, the detective seemed uncertain. He moved slightly, as if with discomfort, and yet didn't pull away. Mind you, maybe he couldn't. "Raito-kun, I…" He trailed off.

"Ryuuzaki?" Raito intoned the detective's name with a question, though there was never a question in his mind. It just seemed to be the right thing to say.

"This is… well… not what I had in mind," finished L lamely.

"You've said that already," reminded Raito. He placed his hand on L's shoulder again, this time with no intention of removing it. "What do you want to say? You can trust me."

Raito's ears caught the sound of L drawing a ragged breath, rasping air into his chest, and his heart sunk. "Can I truly, Raito-kun?" The question froze Raito to the core. _He still doesn't know how to act around me_.

But come to think of it, do I know how to act around him?

Acting automatically, without any real thought of the consequences or logic behind it, Raito brought up his other hand, clutching both of L's shoulders firmly. Now he knew where the detective was. More or less. L's breathing quickened. He knew that the detective's eyes would have widened. His jaw muscles would have clenched and unclenched, perplexed and then cautious. His facial expression would be one of surprise, and one of guarded apprehension. How depressing that he could read the features of fear and distrust without even seeing them. Something inside his chest was tearing, but he thrust the sensation aside.

"Yes," he replied, voice low and heady, full of emotion that he seldom allowed into the foreground. "You can trust me. I _want_ you to trust me. Not for my sake. For your sake. More than anything." Did that even make sense? He didn't seem to care even if it hadn't. Muscles retracted and he pulled the detective bodily towards himself, forcing a hiss of withheld breath from the detective as he collided with Raito's bony, though more substantial chest. Gentleness mixed with desperation.

"Ra-Raito-kun," stammered L, "this is…" He trailed off as Raito rearranged his hands, arms tightening, holding the detective close to him. One hand combed itself through Ryuuzaki's thick black locks, surprisingly soft, burying through the unruly mass until it found the warm, soft skin beneath. Fingertips caressed the detective's head with an intimacy and affection with which Raito had never touched anything before, let alone felt. _Why was he doing this_? Thoughts of danger, thoughts of arrogant pride and concern for what might be said or done hammered at Raito's brain, but were denied entry. This was… what he wanted. Just for now, he was going to push those other thoughts aside and, well, be _himself _for a moment. L pushed against him briefly, both palms flat against the adolescent's chest, but either had no desire to properly fight the contact, or was too tangled up to put up a decent resistance.

Raito dipped his nose down, inhaling the dusty scent of L's hair. He wrinkled his nose. It must be something to do with sitting in front of a computer all day long. There was the lingering trail of sweets, and the musky scent that was L's own. There was something soothing about it. Something that made Raito want to just close his eyes and sleep. Or maybe that was the sleep deprivation talking. Either way, a feeling of indescribable calm was washing over him, silent detective motionless and warm in his arms. A numb question filtered into Raito's mind_. Why wasn't L fighting this?_ He wasn't even arguing. He wasn't doing _anything_.

Gently, Raito stroked the detective's back, fingers lazily following the curve of the spidery youth's rib cage. "Could you ever trust me?" he muttered the question into Ryuuzaki's hair, tickling the edges of his mouth and making the breath catch in his throat, nerves on fire. His hyper-alert skin could feel the detective's heart rate quicken at those words, pinned against his chest. He had practically pulled the silent youth into his lap, as far as he could tell in this blackness.

"I would trust Raito-kun," L's words bit into the atmosphere, puncturing the haze of Raito's consciousness. "But I could never trust Kira."

There it was. The one word that could strip Raito of himself faster than anything else. _Kira_. Immediately he was aware of L's shaky breathing, of their closeness, their shared warmth. Shaky with fear, or with something else? He couldn't tell. He closed his eyes, "You still think that I am Kira."

"There is a chance."

"So why don't you push me away?" asked Raito, a note of bitterness rising unchecked to his question. Most strident though was his curiosity. _What was L thinking_?

"I don't know," admitted L. The detective was stirring, rising slightly, but not out of Raito's protective grasp. He was looking him in the eyes, even though they couldn't see each other. Time seemed to freeze for Raito. L's breath was playing dangerously near his own. So close he could almost feel the other male's skin. His heart was in his throat, hammering so hard he was amazed it could actually maintain that speed.

And then there was light.

Both L and Raito moved as one, leaping as if stung and heads snapping around to stare at the doorway, now illuminated by the electric lights of the hallway outside. Standing in the doorway, with an expression that was doing a slideshow of expressions of shock through the ages, was an elderly gentleman in a neat formal suit and glasses.

"Ryuuzaki?" The old man could only stare, eyes wide with enough horror to potentially incapacitate someone with a heart condition. Sadly, Watari did not appear to have said heart condition.

Oh perfect.

……….


	11. Chapter 11

Wild-filly: Hello again, and a multitude of worshipful thanks to you for reading

By the way, in case some of you have missed my hints before**, I will state this outright now** – the themes of this story will follow the manga more closely, and we only have a few more chapters left. Please, _please_ don't get angry with me – the plot will continue, and I'm not one to leave things on a sour note.** Major spoilers alert!**

Disclaimer: Death Note is not mine. This pains me.

………….

Mind Games

Chapter Eleven: Silent Revelation

…………..

_Soon I know you'll see,_

_You're just like me._

_Don't scream anymore my love, 'cause all I want is you_

_I can't save your life,_

_Though nothing I bleed for is more tormenting._

_I'm losing my mind and you just stand there and stare as my world divides._

"Ryuuzaki?"

None of the three moved. It was as if they had been frozen in time, locked in their respective positions. A torrent of thoughts flooded Raito's mind; most of them along the lines of _oh shit, _and, if possible, less polite variations of this most eloquent expression_._

Watari's eyes had widened as far as was physically possible, causing the elderly man to look as if he were trying to imitate his spidery employer. Raito desperately ran a systems-check to see if the scene was as incriminating as he feared it might be. Let's see…L was still lost in the folds of Raito's embrace, pulled protectively to the megalomaniac's chest and apparently still unable, or unwilling, to divest himself from Raito's clutches. Now that light had flooded into the darkened room, Raito was able to observe that yes, he had been correct in guessing earlier that he had practically pulled L into his lap. The detective's spindly joints were curled up, arms folded about his own torso and pinned between himself and Raito. His knees were drawn up into a foetal position, cuddled in close to the source of heat and uncertain comfort that was the other youth. Raito felt his face burning, and he could see a similar discomfited look on Ryuuzaki's face as well. Had L been trapped there in that fashion, or had he shifted into that position of his own free will?

Watari obviously thought the former, if the panic-stricken facial expression was anything to go by.

"Ryuuzaki!" he exclaimed urgently again, rushing over to his employer's side, immaculate tailored suit flapping. The turn of speed on the old fossil was completely unexpected, and Raito could only stare in disbelief, unable to move.

"What happened here?" demanded the elderly man, ignoring the lack of response on the behalf of his employer. Leaning over the entangled two, Watari's fingers moved with surprising deftness over the chain links, unkinking and unwinding their restrictive setting. Within seconds, Raito felt the tightness that was firmly pinning his arms around the detective; other than his own consciousness, that is; slacken. He dropped his arms reluctantly and began to massage his wrist theatrically, as if relieved for the interruption. Did L want to keep this under wraps? _More likely than not_, he assumed, quietly bitter in his own mind. Damn Watari…What had he just missed out on?

L groaned softly, now freed of the cumbersome binding across his back and limbs. He craned over his ankle, surveying it with a look of morbid fascination, pale fingers probing the swollen joint experimentally. "I do believe that this is sprained, Watari. Would you mind seeing to it?" He glanced up at his horrified associate, catching the old man's eye with a look that Raito couldn't quite see. Raito did note, however, that L had not actually answered Watari's question. What did that mean? These questions were infuriating to no small degree! He was a genius, for crying out loud!

Thankfully enough, he was spared from viciously pondering that thought for very long, as Raito swiftly found himself the subject of a particularly malicious stare, radiating from the elderly gentleman in front of him. It appeared that the thin lens of Watari's glasses separating Raito and the older man's eyes was all that was preventing him from being glared to death_. He thinks that I did that to him?_ "This wasn't my fault!" Raito blurted out indignantly. "It was an accident that Ryuuzaki got hurt!" _Oh very smooth Raito. Would you like a 'guilty' stamp for your forehead too?_

L started, staring first up at Watari in confusion and then turning to Raito, eyes blank as though woken from a dream, but with a peculiar glimmer. Was that a furtive look he was showing? Either way, Raito wasn't sure what to expect by way of 'support' from Ryuuzaki. Coughing slightly, L broke into a monotone. "Raito-kun did not inflict this injury on me. Directly, at any rate," he conceded.

Instantly Watari's attention reaffixed itself on his employer. "Will you tell me what happened, Ryuuzaki?" There was a note of pleading in the old man's voice. "I entered this room to find a most, ah- _unusual_ sight. I would be exceedingly grateful for an explanation, rather than jumping to my own conclusions." Watari's face was taut with apprehension, eyes bloodshot and strained. Perhaps he truly _was_ worried about Ryuuzaki, and didn't just have a list of issues with Raito.

That, however, did not particularly help Raito at the moment, since he was currently causing said worrying about Ryuuzaki, and therefore was highest on the old man's hit list.

Placing one finger on the outside of his mouth, L proceeded to stare up at the ceiling and maintain a most petulant silence. Said stony silence was now proceeding to simultaneously infuriate Raito. _Honestly!_ He himself could have come up with a convincing lie within seconds, had he been offered the chance to answer the interrogation! He could have cleaned up this whole scenario with a perfectly logical and believable excuse; so why wasn't L trying the same? The lanky youth wasn't even looking at the older man, and Raito could have sworn that he was wearing an expression of profound annoyance. Was L _annoyed_ that they had been interrupted, or that he was being questioned?

Well, _Raito_ certainly was. But that was besides point.

"What happened, Watari, was something that can be explained easily enough by the fact that the room was suddenly plunged into darkness, and the chain, cumbersome enough in daylight, proved even more detrimental in complete blackness." L's tone was icy and patient, as if he were speaking to a petulant child. There was no expression in his face, and he looked up at his assistant as if he had been interrupted in the middle of something of vital importance. Raito could almost feel himself shrinking, and he wasn't even the one being _spoken _to, for crying out loud. And Watari didn't even have the whole god-complex thing.

Surprisingly, Watari didn't look very convinced. For a moment, Raito thought that he was going to challenge L's answer, but respect for, or possibly fear of his employer seemed to be winning over his contempt for the other youth. Watari opened and shut his mouth, blinking furiously. Raito watched in silent contemplation. The older man hesitated, reopening his mouth and delicately phrasing his next words with obvious caution. "But Ryuuzaki, you've always had brilliant eyesight, even in the dark. What happened this time to change that?" _Ah. The stealthy tactic_. Not that L wouldn't notice it straight away and take offence.

"As I said, the chain happened." L stared levelly at the older man, voice calm and if anything, slightly bored. Raito was impressed. "My attempt to reach the ventilation shaft in order to escape was thwarted by it, and resulted in my incurring an injury to my ankle. Yagami-kun took the brunt of my fall, hence the situation you witnessed." His eyes then widened a fraction, as if suddenly struck by a new idea. "What did you think had happened?"

Raito watched, fascinated, as the tables were promptly turned on the elderly gentleman, still standing to attention at his employer's side. He had to give Watari credit; the older man didn't even flinch, though he was certain that that was the first thing that he wanted to do. A vein was pulsing on the man's forehead, and a small trickle of sweat had begun to trail down his forehead. Was he going to break? Would Watari be the first person, including Raito and L, to actually admit what was going on between the two? Raito watched with a surprising amount of anxiety, as Watari expelled a sigh, lidded eyes reproachful behind his spectacles. "It's not important, Ryuuzaki. Let's see to your ankle. Can you stand on it?" A safe move: change the subject. And more to the point, why had he, Raito, been nervous? He _never_ felt nervous. How irritating…

L glanced thoughtfully at the wounded limb, scuffing his foot on the ground experimentally. "Perhaps. It is quite painful, but movement does not appear to be compromised as of yet. In a few minutes it shall be too swollen to do anything much however. We should probably move quickly." Raito quietly applauded Ryuuzaki's clinical observations. He'd have done the same thing, except maybe with a few more theatrical winces of pain for good measure, just to please the audience, or at least not positively terrify them with his lack of human emotion. It seemed that L wasn't so worried about that.

"Here." Raito rose easily to his feet, no longer encumbered by the shortened chain. He extended one hand to the prone L, beckoning generously. "I'll pull you up," he stated the obvious for Watari's benefit, so that he wouldn't misunderstand. Maybe. He didn't know Watari very well. Maybe he would anyway. Who knew what Watari was thinking? Raito was more interested in L's psyche than his assistant's. "It's the least I can do for dropping you." He let a faintest trace of a smile grace his lips in a cold imitation of friendliness.

L stared pensively at the proffered hand, dark eyes flickering to Raito's and holding his gaze for a second. Raito blinked. _Shouldn't I have done that? _ What was L thinking now? His internal dilemma was averted however, when L then seized his hand, throwing his pathetic weight against Raito's only slightly more substantial body mass. Watari stooped instantly, catching his employer's elbow and steadying him as he swayed, pulled upwards by the main suspect in the Kira investigation. Raito itched somehow beneath his skin. _I could have done that myself, thank you very much!_ He batted the thought away, teeth gritting with suppressed annoyance. _Not here. Not now_. Ryuuzaki shot his assistant a grateful glance, ignoring Raito, and tested his weight on his swollen foot, biting his lip reflexively.

"Not good. We'll have to go slowly." Raito still hadn't let go of his hand, and since Watari hadn't released L's elbow either, he saw no reason to do so. In fact, he took this as a sign to tighten his grip, repositioning himself at L's side to flank him supportively. Let L read that however he wanted to. Ryuuzaki glanced up at the silent youth curiously, but appeared to dismiss this, and instead took a step forwards.

Both Watari and Raito were pulled earthwards as the detective promptly fell over.

"Ah. It would appear that my ankle sufficiently swollen already." L stated the fact blandly, sprawled on the carpet and apparently completely unfazed by this state of affairs. "Could I possibly trouble one of you for a lift?" His limbs were organised in a tangle that made him look even more spidery than usual.

Watari's heavy brow furrowed as he stared helplessly at his employer. The older man was crouched on one knee and wincing noticeably. He'd obviously jarred something on the way down, thought Raito, with no small degree of sadistic satisfaction. He could have sworn that he heard a gasp of pain on the way down; noticing it even in his own shock at being treated to a close-up of the carpet. "I'm afraid that I can't carry you to the medical room, Ryuuzaki. My back's troubling me at the worst possible time." Watari admitted this through a clenched jaw, glaring accusingly at Raito. Hm. Apparently he still refused to accept L's stunted version of the truth, and also perhaps the fact that Raito was persisting in existing. Or maybe he saw the grin that Raito was busy hiding expertly. Or maybe he blamed Raito for somehow causing the fall that caused his spine to go _click_. Not that Raito could care less about that at this moment. He now had a different problem to consider.

"You… want me to pick you up?" _Didn't you learn from the last effort that that kind of behaviour doesn't end very well?_ A cold sweat had broken out down Raito's back; he could feel it trickling in a snaking river between his vertebrae, sending a chill down his spine, and forcing him to suppress a shudder, lest it be misinterpreted. _Oh gods… why now? Why with Watari around?_

"Is there a problem?" L eyed Raito from where he was still seated in a most uncoordinated, yet unaffected fashion on the floor. "Were you also hurt by my earlier fall?" There was something mocking, rebuking in his eyes. A challenge? It almost looked like it. What was L thinking?

Was it just his paranoia kicking in, or did it look like L had faked that little trip?

Silently, he was a little surprised that the detective was taking full responsibility for the accident, or even pretending to. After all, it hadn't been the detective who'd suffered an unexpected bout of impure thoughts and had fallen over as a result of said dodgy ideas. "No, I'm not hurt. Just give me one moment, then I'll give you a lift." _Why oh why must my sanity be tried so?_ He flung the question to whatever stray deity might answer, but didn't fancy hearing what Ryuuk might have to say on the subject. Shinigami weren't well known for their advice on, dare he say it, 'romantic' matters. _Good grief; he really just thought that, didn't he?_ There must really be something wrong with him…

With a pseudo apologetic glance to Watari for good measure, Raito knelt gingerly beside L on the floor and hesitated. "How shall we do this?" _Shut up, stupid brain_. Nasty shivers were tickling his limbs, crawling down his spine and accumulating in a most distressing fashion in an area that _certainly_ did not have any place in the current company!

L's brows furrowed slightly. "Any way that doesn't put pressure on my ankle will be fine. I can't have my feet on the ground, since it is most painful at the moment." To Raito's shock, the spindly youth reached out and wrapped his arms about his neck like a child expecting to be carried. Startlingly warm skin brushed against the back of his neck as L spread his fingers, linking them together and nestling them into the crook of Raito's vertebrae. He could feel the rest of that unusual warmth through the frail fabric of Ryuuzaki's shirt; feel the slight weight pulling him temptingly downwards. His thoughts were trailing away despite his furious internal screams for order. Watari made a low noise in his throat, and L's eyes snapped onto Raito's own, just as Raito snapped a leash onto his delighted imagination. "Hurry and lift. I'd like to get downstairs _before_ my ankle is the size of a party balloon."

_Way to kill a moment_. Well, technically the best way to kill a moment was to add Watari to it, and since that had already been done, Raito couldn't really blame L for nailing the lid on the moment's coffin. "Alright, alright," he grumbled dramatically, easily adopting a suitable character profile to fit the scenario. "No need to whinge. I was just trying to figure out the best way to do this. Tell me if I hurt you." His brain, however, was on its own little vacation into the unspeakable. He decided not to follow it, since it probably wouldn't be safe to do so in the current situation. Or maybe _any_ situation.

"I'm surprised that it could take someone with your IQ such a long time to figure out that problem," nipped L. Raito only glared in response. _Of all the nerve! _Thankfully though, Watari seemed to visibly relax at that. After all, there couldn't possibly be anything illicit going on between two people who fought with each other, could there?

Well, not in the real world. Some novels would beg to differ.

Knees bending, Raito held his breath and his tongue as he hoisted the detective into the air, precariously holding him bridal-style. He tried not to think about the implications of what he was doing, let alone where his arms were. Was he blushing? He could have sworn that all of the blood in his body had suddenly rushed to his head. Namely to fill it with thoughts that were certainly not appropriate at the moment. L clung to him instinctively, seemingly completely at ease. Raito's heart seemed to stop in his throat, head swimming. _What idiocy is this that I'm under? I'm carrying my greatest rival! I should be looking for the nearest set of stairs to drop-kick him down!_

"This way, Yagami-kun," chipped in Watari, stepping forwards. His eyes were still dark with suspicion and had not left Raito since the moment L had dictated his need for a lift. "Follow me, and quickly." Ryuuzaki's health was obviously in the old man's best interests. Not to mention something else to do with Ryuuzaki. Raito gritted his teeth, but flashed Watari his best and falsest smile. "Lead on, please."

L, Raito was about to find, was not the easiest person to carry in history. As he shuffled swiftly down the dimly lit corridors, currently running on the back-up generators' power, he became acutely aware of the fact that the detective was made up mostly of joints. Joints that he had apparently filed to sharp points in his spare time in between snacks and accusations.

"Are you made entirely of elbows?" hissed Raito in Ryuuzaki's ear, wincing after the detective accidentally(?) jabbed him in the solar plexus with something bony and sharp. It wasn't even as if the detective was moving, for crying out loud! Even sitting there, perfectly stoic and staring at the ceiling he was able to inflict harm on the sociopath. It was most unjust, and yet oddly appropriate. Was L doing this on purpose?

"Not entirely, Raito-kun," replied L calmly, still staring up at the ceiling. "I have the requisite number of elbows for a human being, which is, I believe, a total of two. How many elbows do you have?"

"Oh very funny," muttered Raito. Ryuuzaki's feet, one of which was busy swelling and looking pained, the other of which was waving in the air as if conducting a tune that only the detective could hear, vaguely distracted him. "What are you doing with your foot?" he hissed, quietly so that Watari couldn't hear him.

"Amusing myself," replied L dryly. "For reasons that I cannot begin to fathom, staring at the ceiling is not the most interesting pastime in the world. Nor are you the most comfortable form of transport."

Oh how charming. "Can't you just sit there and think quietly?" Raito sped up a little as Watari shot him an annoyed glance over his shoulder, appearing to think that they were falling behind just to spite him. "I thought that you liked to sit and think to amuse yourself. And besides, it's not as if I wanted to do this." _Well… that was vaguely true at least._

"I do," answered L quietly. He then directed his attention away from the ceiling at last, and fixed Raito with his most patronising stare. "What would you like me to think of?"

Ack! Nasty thoughts! Raito swallowed hurriedly. "That's your choice entirely!"

"Do you want me to think about anything in particular?" Ryuuzaki's expressionless black eyes were locked onto Raito's own pupils, even as they squirmed to be free of his gaze. "Raito-kun, you're flushed in the face and a sweat has broken out on your forehead. Tell me the truth. What do you want me to think about? I'm not going to ask you again." _Curse that little… snide, conniving, conspiring…detective!_

"I…" Raito hesitated, voice lowering even though it was already straining on the edge of hearing. "I want you to think about what you want, Ryuuzaki. What you want from… yourself. From yourself, and from myself." He added the last sentence so quietly he wasn't even sure that the detective had heard. Lip-read, perhaps, but not heard. However, there was only understanding in L's stark eyes.

"Ah, but Raito-kun," replied L just as quietly, "you want me to think about something that I have already spent many hours musing over."

"And do you have an answer that you would like to share with me?" Raito could hardly dare to breathe now. His arms were trembling, and he tugged the detective closer to himself to hide it, disguised as a jolt to hoist Ryuuzaki into a more comfortable position. He could feel every bone, every muscle of the lithe detective. The wrinkles in his jeans, the creases of his shirt all melded and fitted to his own garments. Those thick, soft strands of unkempt black hair were tickling his arms, even through the thin sleeves of Raito's shirt. It was as if his entire awareness had somehow intensified, electrified in anticipation. His brain was in two exact halves; both of which were screaming at him; though for very different reasons.

_How had this control been forged? When had he lost so much control of his own emotions that he allowed them to dictate his mind as never before? What the hell was he doing? I can't rule the world as Kira like this!_

The thought hit his stomach like a ton of lead.

"I have an answer, Raito-kun," replied L with perfect calmness. His eyes were staring without seeing, yet Raito felt as if he were examining some core of his own self. Was this what it felt like to… care for someone truly? _Ye gods… why now? Why him? And why, in the name of all things holy; Ryuuzaki? _Was this the same thing that L was experiencing? "But I cannot give you that answer here, in this place, and in this company."

It was like a bucket of cold water being emptied over Raito's head. _Watari. The headquarters. The team. His father._ They were all here, and they were all oblivious. Even if they weren't oblivious, Raito could hardly expect support from those sides. After all, what did some youth's fancies have to do with the Kira case?

A lot more than they knew.

"This way, Yagami-kun," called Watari stiffly, puncturing the turbulence of Raito's thoughts. He had come to a halt outside a non-descript office, distinguishable only by the small red cross that decorated its door. Raito tore his eyes away from L's imperceptible pupils, nodded and hurried to catch up, pushing the thoughts of L's words to one side.

"Raito?" A new voice?

_Oh brilliant. How utterly lovely_. Raito could feel what blood had rushed to his face with embarrassment flood away with a new brand of horror.

Yagami Souchiro stood illuminated at the end of the hallway, having apparently stepped out of the main investigation room for a breath of air at just the right moment to catch his son carrying a world famous detective like a very angular and sarcastic parcel. Raito's mind raced with a new brand of urgency. Possible smooth lies slipped from his mind to his mouth, only to be quailed by the realisation that Watari and L both had their own versions to add to this story. _Hm_. Having people other than himself to worry about was very inconvenient. Ah well. Nothing ventured was nothing gained.

"Hello, father," replied Raito calmly. Or at least he seemed calm to the untrained eye. In other words, only L could possibly notice that he was feeling a little strained. Mind, that was probably more so due to the fact that the detective could literally feel Raito's heart rate start to pick up with narrowly suppressed anxiety.

Yagami Souchiro stared first at his son and then at L, blinking in astonishment. He then turned to Watari with an almost pleading look. Raito cursed internally. Not good! He broke into the conversation, "This may look a little odd, but there's a good explanation, I assure you." _Though perhaps a more abridged one than the actual truth._

Watari deigned Raito with a profoundly unimpressed look and then shook his head, eyes returning to those of Raito's father. Souchiro now looked positively alarmed. One hand clutched a mug of tea so tightly that his knuckles stretched white beneath his skin. "I'd like to hear that explanation now, Raito. And you too, Ryuuzaki. What has happened here?" He spoke slowly, deliberately, and with a modicum of control that made Raito proud.

"Pain," answered L slowly, still staring up at the ceiling and tapping his foot in that intensely aggravating fashion. "It was entirely Raito-kun's fault. I shouldn't ask him to do things that he just can't manage."

Raito was so busy controlling his spluttering that he couldn't stop his mind from running off to go and play in the gutters. Not the kind of 'explanation' that his father needed! "We were trapped in one of the spare rooms," Raito hastily added. "Ryuuzaki asked me to boost him into an air-vent when the power cut out, but I dropped him by accident."

"Now my ankle is rendered useless," supplemented L, seemingly deciding to be useful for a moment to Raito. "And I hold your son to be entirely responsible."

Oh. This could get expensive.

"That's a little unfair, Ryuuzaki," reasoned Raito, frowning down at the detective still nonchalantly draped in his arms. "It was your idea in the first place." _And I'll drop you, you cretin._

"Arguing about it isn't going to help," cut in Watari. He gestured towards L's profoundly swollen ankle, to which the detective blinked, as if just remembering that he was in some mild degree of pain. "We need to treat your injury, Ryuuzaki. Deciding who is to blame for it can be an activity for afterwards." He then levelled his stare at Raito, who then experienced a feeling as if someone had just dropped a couple of ice-cubes down the back of his shirt. Creepy old man…

"Right," Souchiro seemed to regain some form of calm in order to replicate Watari in staring accusingly at Raito. "Well, Raito. Since it was predominantly your fault that Ryuuzaki was hurt, you should make sure that he gets the medical attention that he needs. Even if Ryuuzaki said something to upset you, it's no excuse to actually cause physical harm."

"It was an accident, I told you!" Raito didn't even need to feign the stereotypical youth outrage. "I didn't do this on purpose!"

Souchiro frowned, peering over the edge of his glasses at his son. Raito felt oddly exposed, and as guilty as if he had blood on his hands or no clothing. _Ack! What the hell was with his brain today?!_ With a sigh, the older Yagami seemed to give up. "If that's what you say, Raito, I'll believe you. If you want to talk to me about anything though," he looked up with an odd, almost accusing look in his eyes, "I'll be here. You can tell me _anything, _son." A furtive expression. What was his father thinking? Oh gods… not another one! _ And he was offering to 'talk' to Raito about this?!_ And just what kind of talk was that going to be? Please… don't let his father be reading too deeply, yet accurately into the situation! The kind of 'talk' that might result would be too horrible to contemplate.

"Come along Raito," L nudged the stricken megalomaniac with his heel, as if spurring on a spooked horse. "The room's right there. Hurry up, would you?"

Shaking himself back into life and away from the nightmare that was the idea of his father telling him about a different 'birds and the bees', Raito glared down at the detective and marched into the medical room without a word. Watari trailed after them, and set about pulling out a collection of gauze, bandage tape and snap-freeze icepacks. Dumping Ryuuzaki unceremoniously onto the padded concrete shelf that supposedly doubled as a bed, Raito stared ominously at the wall and tried to ignore the proceedings. _Great_. A suspicious father _and_ miscellaneous old man against him, not to mention L's barbed mentality.

It was no wonder he questioned his sanity. Between the three of them and his own corrupted brain, it was being torn to shreds like a steak in a pack of wolves.

A good forty minutes later, Raito was back where he had started: in front of a pile of paper and mind wandering. Computers hummed, the water-cooler buzzed and L chomped noisily through a steaming bowl of sticky toffee pudding. The sweet aroma of the dessert filled Raito's nostrils, making his stomach growl with jealousy. He steadfastly ignored it, instead trailing his eyes from Ryuuzaki's computer, to his own pile of paper in distraction. Those emails that Ryuuzaki had sent off still hadn't received any replies. Technically he needed those replies in order to proceed in any kind of useful activity. So, for now he was effectively killing time with boredom.

It was not, all in all, how he enjoyed killing time. He could think of plenty of other, more interesting ways in which he could be doing the same thing.

The flash of white bandage around L's sore ankle caught his eye briefly. He considered it. Watari must have wrapped a kilometre's worth of gauze about the limb, glaring all the while at Raito as he did so, as if personally holding him responsible. How rude could you get? L had been a very good patient, and hadn't even batted an eye when the swollen ankle was prodded and teased into position and an icepack slapped over the top. He had, however, made a point to Watari that he expected his dessert to be ready and waiting for him by the time he made it back to the main investigation quarters.

The look on Watari's face had been priceless, Raito mused cheerfully. It was something akin to fear that flashed to the older man's eyes at the look on Ryuuzaki's haggard face. Maybe something like this had happened before. Raito suppressed a chuckle at the thought of L threatening to go on a violent rampage if he wasn't pacified with a bowl of sweet pudding. Or maybe that was just how he coped with pain; by thinking of the sweets to come afterwards.

_He may never know_, thought Raito with a pang. Not unless Ryuuzaki opened up and revealed what he was actually thinking.

Come to think of it though, wasn't it a little unfair of Raito to demand that L say what he thought, when Raito himself was divided?

Okay, it was time to come clean. Just what was he thinking after all? Now seemed as good a time as any to decide. Did he really like Ryuuzaki, as in… 'like' Ryuuzaki? Or was he just hormonal, emotionally unstable and reactionary? What did he like about Ryuuzaki?

Well, he wasn't exactly conventional, that was for sure. He had a wonderfully sharp mind that could keep even Raito guessing. He'd never come across anyone else who had ever challenged his intelligence, or interpreted his personality so accurately. Ryuuzaki was annoying, quirky, and downright arrogant at times. He hated to lose, almost as much as Raito himself did.

So was that it? He liked Ryuuzaki because he had found an equal?

Would that alone be enough?


	12. Chapter 12

Wild-filly: Thank you all so much

Disclaimer: I still don't own Death Note. I own _a _death note, as well as a huge amount of L merchandise, but that's about it.

………..

Mind Games

Chapter 12: Closing the Trap

………….

_There's no escape now,_

_No mercy no more,_

_No remorse cause I still remember_

_The smile when you tore me apart._

_You took my heart,_

_Deceived me right from the start._

_This world may have failed you,_

_It doesn't give you a reason why._

_You could have chosen a different path in life._

Well, whether or not that was enough, Raito now had a new problem on his hands. Two problems technically, although one was far graver than the other. Opinion was divided on which was which.

Yes, only two days after that most distressing of mental battles, it was time for Raito's life to accept the intrusion of yet another spanner in the works. Namely a bottle-blonde intrusion with a habit of referring to herself in the third person. There was no earthly sign that Misa was heading this way; no call to the connected phone, no buzzer to sound that her door had been opened; nothing that could physically have warned Raito of the impending invasion. The cameras dotted about her room would clearly have shown her depart, of course, but he was unable to see them, huddled in his cave of paper. All the same, somehow he knew that she was heading this way. It was a feeling that tickled at the base of his spine, flooding his nerves with an unpleasant foreboding. A sixth sense developed specifically for warning him of future encounters with the preppy model.

And really, her timing could not have been any worse.

Matsuda of all people had managed to find a lead on the inferior Kira, planted within the hierarchy of the Yotsuba corporation. The Yotsuba official was making a mess of it, naturally, so of course Matsuda had managed to notice something. What kind of an idiot used the Death Note to directly benefit their own economic income? Honestly… the idiot _deserved_ to be found, even if it was now putting a serious crimp on Raito's current situation. What was he supposed to do now? The new Kira would be found now that L was at the helm, complete with his insatiable desire to win. Raito could feel a small knot of worry building in his stomach at the thought.

Whichever one of the Yotsuba officials Kira's stand-in was, they'd be no match for L's mind. It could only take a matter of weeks at most for the detective to seize both the culprit, the Death Note, and start prying at Rem for answers. Even though Raito had meticulously planned for this, had schooled Rem through all of the potential questions that the detective would hurl at her, he was still fretful.

He hadn't accommodated for the fact that he might come to view the detective in a different light while he was working side by side with him.

Raito rubbed his fingers against his temples, staring sightlessly at the case footage playing on the high-definition screens. He'd come to know that this day would come; but he hadn't figured out how soon it would arrive.

He would have to make a choice. He would need a new plan. But did he have the time to do so? The wheels had already been put in motion for his first plan for too long; there was no pulling out now.

He was either in his plan for world domination entirely, or he was entirely out of it. There were no two ways about it. Raito needed to decide whether he was Kira, the future God of the known world; or simply Yagami Raito.

In one of those futures, Ryuuzaki would have to die. And in the other, there was no guarantee that Raito would have changed anything between them. If Raito admitted to being Kira, he would have to kill Ryuuzaki. He knew very well that the detective would never stop hunting him. Would never stop resenting him. Raito had to be one or the other; but if he lied to L outright, and said that he wasn't Kira, then he would be setting himself up for a fall should the Yotsuba case throw the blame onto his shoulders by some quirk of fate.

It was the most nauseatingly difficult decision that he had ever had to make.

And to top all _that_ malarkey off, he was about to have his airspace invaded by the being who was now the undisputed most irritating in the world.

The door creaked in warning just as it was thrown violently against the wall, crashing against the plaster in a perfect introduction for the bubbly young woman.

"Raito-kun!"

Near instinctively, Raito dodged to the left, narrowly avoiding an affectionate and very clingy hug from the adoring girl. Misa's loud presence in the otherwise deathly silent investigation room was almost a welcome beak. At least now Raito could hardly hear himself think. It was nice to be able to push the horrors of the future aside in favour of the horrors of the present.

"It's been so long since Misa last saw Raito-kun," crooned the adoring actress. She draped herself over the stoic youth's shoulders, ignoring the pained expression on his face as he own eyes closed with delight. "Misa just couldn't wait any longer." She pouted slightly, frowning down at Raito. "Raito-kun is working only a couple of rooms away from Misa, but Raito still doesn't come and visit Misa after he has finished working! Misa wouldn't mind a visit from Raito. It doesn't matter how early or late!" Her wide eyes were over-bright in her worshipful adoration.

"I know, Misa," replied Raito heavily, enduring her scarf-like tendency with seemingly endless patience. "I would come and see you more often if I had the time. And I do know that you wouldn't mind me coming in to see you at odd hours of the morning, but by that time I'm exhausted and just want to sleep." He stared at her pensively. She was pretty, yes. He noticed that about her, of course. But she just didn't… interest him beyond that. It was as if everything she showed on the outside was everything she had to offer. There was nothing beneath the surface.

"Misa wouldn't mind that either!" came the swift reply, wide brown eyes shining with wicked delight. "Raito could come and sleep in Misa's room any time! Misa would love it!"

At _that_ offer, Ryuuzaki gave a very dry, very suggestive cough. Instantly Misa's demeanour crumpled and she shot the detective a poisonous look. "That doesn't mean _you_, Ryuuzaki. Only Raito can share Misa's bed. You'd just have to sleep on the floor if you won't take those stupid handcuffs off." She then gave Raito a mischievous look, but he hardly noticed it. He was too busy trying not to laugh at the very brief, very affronted look that had flitted to L's face at Misa's selective invitation.

"That, Amane-san, was not my concern," replied L, voice flat and eyes stony. "I was actually hinting that you could have picked a better time to interrupt. Your offers to do illicit things with Raito-kun do not interest me." The detective's attention was still latched firmly onto his computer, fingers darting as he researched some unshared detail.

Misa tossed her hair contemptuously, and Raito tried desperately to conceal the flaming blush that flooded his cheeks. _Not good imagery, and not the right person to suggest it! _

"Well that 'better time' doesn't seem to exist! Misa hasn't seen Raito in _ages_, and this is not fair at all." Raito blinked at the broken note in her voice. For a moment he looked at her anew. Yes, this was still the same annoying, hyperactive and obsessive girl who had been following him around for months, but she was showing a different side. She held some deep-seated emotional attachments to him, even after all the young model had been through, and for all he pushed her away. Was there actually something beneath her bubbly exterior?

"And what does 'illicit' mean anyway?"

_Way to kill a moment, Misa_. Raito rolled his eyes internally, and watched, mentally distanced, as L attempted to translate the term in as few words as possible, whilst simultaneously conveying the idea that she should leave now or be forcibly expelled. Even so, mild disgust at her educational level aside, Raito found himself wondering just where Misa entered into the equation with himself and Ryuuzaki.

He had to admit that, annoying and possessive as the young woman (though admittedly older than himself) was, she did have a certain charm about her. She was, rather beautiful and capable of stirring some form of slumbering want within him. And she was obsessed with him! Why not go for the easy option? Raito's brain clamoured for this choice. _It's what everyone would expect. It's covert, it's suitable, and above all, it doesn't involve you getting involved with the one person who wants to see Kira brought to justice more than anyone else!_

Raito frowned_. It's just that… Misa isn't Ryuuzak_i. She didn't intrigue him the same way, test him mentally enough, or keep him guessing. Misa was an open book, all of her feelings proudly displayed on a bright, colourful cover in rather big and simple words. L, on the other hand, was a highly detailed novella, concealed between bland covers with only a strange illustration of multiple desserts to catch the browsing eye.

All in all, they were both as different as possible without being entirely separate species.

And even that could be contested.

"What do you think, Raito-kun?" He blinked in surprise as he realised that a question had been thrown his way, and he hadn't even noticed it coming. Twitching, he shook himself mentally and refocused his attentions on the matters at hand.

"I'm sorry?" Misa frowned at him, face welling up with disappointment. "You were ignoring Misa? Oh Raito-kun…" She trailed off pitifully, eyes watery with sorrow. For a moment, Raito wanted to kick something, but he suppressed this and shook his head at her.

"It wasn't intentional, Misa. I was just thinking about something else, and you caught me off-guard." He turned to Ryuuzaki, who was glaring mulishly at his computer screen, now apparently running through security tapes of the main players in the Yotsuba management. "What did I miss?"

The detective shrugged irritably, and didn't answer. _Hm. This can't be good. _He glanced over at Misa, seeking an elaboration on that response.

Instantly, the young woman animated herself, silver jewellery clinking as she jumped to attention, broad grin on her face. "Misa asked Raito-kun if he wanted to take a few hours off to go out with her again, like he did a while ago." The pep had returned to the young woman's voice, perked up considerably. Quite the personality turn-around, especially compared to L's inability to express more than two emotions a week. "What do you say? We could go to the cinema again, since you seemed to enjoy it so much last time. Or we could go shopping, or anywhere that Raito wants to go!"

_Please. Don't remind me of that._ Raito's mind fired into overdrive, formulating excuse after excuse in his head. He shot a look at the stoic detective, who seemed to be even more expressionless than usual. "Ryuuzaki, what did you say to her?" _Why hadn't L said that it was impossible, based on the amount of work needed to be done? Why hadn't L spoken for him?_

"I said that it was your decision to make," intoned L demurely, eyes reflecting the greyish lights of the computer screen. "However, it would severely impact on the possibility of you being Kira, especially at this critical stage of the investigation." Was that a note of bitterness in there? Masked, certainly, but Raito was certain it was there. Truly, was L _bitter_ about Misa interrupting, proposing further interruptions, or was it something else?

What wouldn't Raito give to know… He'd handed over his sanity already; what else was it going to take?

"In that case, I can't very well go, can I Misa?" Raito turned the question back to its original sender, along with a false smile. "I still have to work. It's not fair on Ryuuzaki otherwise. And besides, I wouldn't want him to think that I were Kira."

"You care more about Ryuuzaki than your own girlfriend?"

Raito's jaw dropped, and L froze at this new assault. His brain crashed, and then fired off into overdrive. He could barely hear the rest of her words, even as his irritated brain tried to force some kind of logic, reason and overall sense into his head. Misa stared at Raito incredulously, but before he could answer, she continued. "You care more about this Kira case than about me!" Her eyes brimmed with tears that refused to fall, and she stood there, staring down at the floor, oblivious to the shocked Raito. But he wasn't shocked at her being upset; it was the fact that she had unwittingly struck a nerve.

And now he was expected to answer, in front of both parties, this most awkward of questions. He didn't even dare to glance over at L to see how the detective had responded. The rest of the team would see that, even if they were pretending not to have heard Misa's outburst.

Slowly, carefully, Raito sat up in his chair and fixed his eyes on Misa's own. _Best actions… _His brain filtered out the necessary movements for smoothing out the situation. This was elementary stuff really. Raito then reached out, and firmly placed a hand on both of her shoulders. "Look at me, Misa."

She flinched a little, and then directed her tear-stained face towards him. He levelled his stare on her own, catching her attention with the professional ease of one who lives in a lie. "I care about you, Misa. I care about Ryuuzaki. I care about the Kira case. I don't want any of these to suffer because of me. I'm sorry, but you have to be patient, because I just can't take care of all these things at once. You're asking a lot from me, don't you see this?" _Reverse the guilt trip and watch the tables turn._ Simple really. He could feel L's eyes burning into his own, dark and heady with something indescribable. _What is he thinking? _He still couldn't risk looking over at the detective, even though his muscles burned with the desire to do so.

Misa was easy enough to interpret. Another crystalline tear trickled down her cheek as she flung herself at Raito into a bracing hug, almost winding him in the process. "I'm sorry, Raito-kun," she sobbed. "I'm sorry to make you feel bad! Please forgive Misa!"

"There, there," he soothed, stroking her back and looking at the ceiling as if it fascinated him. "Don't worry about it. I don't want you to be sad, but I really need to do this. You want to be here right now, and I want to be here for the person who is most special to me. But we can't always have what we want, can we?"

Sometimes he spoke so heavily in riddles that even _he_ became confused. It seemed to be doing the trick though, as Misa relaxed in his arms and he felt L return his attention to the computer in front of him. His voice lapsed into a placid tone, quietening and calming to the heartsick woman. "We can't always have what we want, regardless of how much we care. So we just have to bear this pain, all to ourselves, and wait until the time is right. And when the time is right, we'll have nothing to worry about any more."

"Okay, Raito-kun," sniffed the trembling Misa. She pushed back from the folds of his cotton shirt, leaning back in order to look him in the eye, face streaked with tears. "I'll be brave for you. I promise. I'll let you work, and I'll wait for you." He nodded silently to her, unable to respond properly. And for the first time in ages, he felt like a bastard for treating her so. _Why couldn't she have picked someone who actually wanted her to feel for them?_ This was a needless, heartless move in this game. Until he'd come into a similar situation, he'd never even noticed it.

The thought occurred to him that he had never looked at her that way before, and sympathy at this stage in the game was too little, too late, and far too much trouble. He slapped himself mentally. There were bigger problems to face, rather than the emotions of one fragile girl.

Should he brush aside his own emotions too, in that case?

That was one of his options, it would seem. But certainly not the option he wanted to take.

And he knew that for a fact now.

Raito waved Misa off silently as she detached from his embrace and wandered dejectedly out of the room, back to her own quarters. Sinking back into his chair, his morbid chain of thought was cut off by Ryuuzaki's sudden declaration.

"I want to go for a wander down the corridor. I've been sitting still for too long on my ankle."

Okay, _what in the name of seven hells is going on?_ Since when did L ever decide that he wanted to go for _a walk_? In the middle of the investigation? In the afternoon, nowhere near any mealtimes? And _especially_ now that he had the excuse of a sprained ankle to avoid any form of movement away from his computer?

_Oh, this could not be good at all_… what was the detective planning?

Raito nodded mutely, struck dumb with fear and anticipation as Ryuuzaki slowly, painfully unfolded from his swivel-chair, leaving the computer to purr by itself. His comment passed unnoticed by the rest of the squad still poring over papers. They didn't spend every moment of the day with the detective, so how were they to know that this was completely out of the ordinary? Raito rose slowly to his feet, like a condemned prisoner beginning his march along death row. _What on earth was Ryuuzaki thinking?_

Wincing as his ankle braced, the spidery detective gingerly padded past Raito without a second glance, heading for the door. He followed reluctantly, chain links clinking as they snapped taut and effectively pulled him along like a dog not wanting to come in from a walk. Whether L noticed this resistance or not was unknown, as he failed to react at all to Raito's subtle protestations. Was he _afraid_ of what L was about to say or do? Raito didn't know much any more, other than the fact that he was getting a cramp in his wrist from fighting so much. Reluctantly he traipsed after the detective with a little more enthusiasm, if only to alleviate that small concern from his seemingly endless list of paranoid notions.

Hobbling competently, Ryuuzaki led the way down a series of corridor. He seemed to have someplace in mind, as he passed several inconspicuous corners that could have afforded himself and his lead suspect a little privacy. Raito's apprehension slowly turned to curiosity. Just where was L going? They had wound their way through the investigation floor, clattered upstairs without bothering to use the lift (a fact that was irking Raito's wasting muscles), and were now ambling down a dully-lit corridor.

"Where are we going, Ryuuzaki?" Raito thrust the question into the atmosphere mostly just to get it off of his chest.

"Nowhere in particular," replied the detective, completely devoid of interest in the other male. He sloped along as if his mind were preoccupied with other matters, gaze travelling along the cream ceiling. His dark eyes were sombre, pensive and unreachable.

"Watch!" Raito jerked the chain sharply, forcing his rival to halt just in front of a potted shrub that sadly, wasn't sufficiently endowed in order to get out of the detective's way. "Aren't you looking where you're going?" he demanded. _Just what on earth is Ryuuzaki playing at? If he wanted to talk, there were plenty of places back there for it, so just what is he doing?_

"Not really," answered Ryuuzaki despondently. His eyes affixed on the wilting plant, scrutinising it as if it could possibly help him with whatever problem he was mulling over. Raito fought the urge to yank the chain again, just to snatch the detective's wandering attention back to himself. For a moment, his pride flared angrily; was he reduced to being a child so easily? Was he so dependent on L's focus being on _him_ that he felt uncomfortable without it?

Okay, now _that_ was just disturbing. He crushed the urge to slap himself, based on the negative indicators this would give to his remaining shreds of sanity. Instead he stared at the detective's back questioningly, willing him to turn around.

"Ryuuzaki, what is this supposed to achieve?" He nodded at the detective's bound ankle for emphasis, knowing that the gesture would be heard, if not seen. "This can't be doing your injury any favours. Why not stop?"

Raito's question was met with a resounding silence. A vein on his forehead threatened to throb. Pride combined with dull aggravation in a lethal cocktail of frustration and already fraught nerves. _Why is he ignoring me? _The strain of his earlier musings was combining with outrage. At the back of his head, a little voice observed that he was becoming unreasonable, before it was rudely quashed by the invading feelings of anger. It was enough though, to jerk consciousness back into Raito's taxed mind.

G_ood grief… he was actually considering losing control of his temper?_ What on earth had become of his legendary self-control? Raito hastily tried to rein back his impulsive desire to grab the lithe detective by the shoulders and shake him, forcing him to acknowledge his presence. He didn't really even know where that feeling had come from.

_Oh yeah, like that was the truth_. He knew exactly what he was thinking. He was just used to living in denial; that was all. Raito almost sniggered aloud. _It's official; I've cracked. I'm being sarcastic to _myself_ of all people._ Not that it was helping his immediate situation much though. L had resumed plodding steadfastly down the hall, ignoring the struggling youth behind him, and still completely resistant to any and all conversation.

This had to stop. He was going to go insane if he had to host another internal dialogue wondering about Ryuuzaki's mental processes. He needed something to work with. An answer to all his new questions.

He needed Ryuuzaki to answer him. And he needed it _now_.

"Ryuuzaki, wait." The command slipped forth before Raito gave it much thought. To his eternal surprise however, it was ignored. L kept walking, staring at nothing in particular.

Okay, this was just infuriating now. Raito's body jerked to a halt, arm braced against the pull of the chain. L took another couple of steps forward, and was then pulled to a stop. Unable to see the detective's expression, Raito instead tried to read his body language; much more complicated than that of any other person he'd ever encountered. The lanky young man was hunched over, head lowered and shoulders rounded: a defensive stance. Was he upset about something? Was that why he was so out-of-sorts?

A flicker of panic coursed through the genius's mind. Had he said something to hurt the other youth? Was that even possible? Maybe the tone of his voice had brought back a bad memory? Who knew! Raito shoved aside this new hail of thoughts. _Bloody paranoia's spreading…_

But all the same; Ryuuzaki seemed immune to most insults that Misa had thrown his way, and impervious to hearing anything other than that which concerned the investigation. Or at least, that's what Raito _believed_, considering his inordinately long pause between _that_ question and answer. But had something just snapped back there? Raito ran a mental transcript of all he had said to Misa.

Hang on. Yes, there was something that could have been misconstrued there.

Oh, _brilliant_. Even _more_ confusion.

"Ryuuzaki?" Tentatively, Raito swallowed and reached out, laying one hand on the other man's shoulder. His fingers pressed down gently, very gently so not to startle him. He could feel the sharp curve of the detective's bones prodding out from under a thin layer of warm, pale skin, hidden by the pristine shirt. Could feel the flinch of shock as he did so. L was pretty unaccustomed to human contact, and the least Raito could do right now was not upset him further. "What's gotten to you? You're not yourself." He asked more quietly.

"Then who am I?" deadpanned L, managing to keep a completely straight face as he turned to survey Raito.

Raito's brow quirked. "If you're well enough to make rhetorical statements, then it can't be anything life threatening." He relaxed a little as he spoke, allowing Ryuuzaki to observe and interpret this at will. _Might as well make it easier for him_. _Maybe I'll get some answers out of this willingly_. "Come on," he continued, eyes serious as he pinned L's stare with his own. "What's upsetting you so much that you were willing to sit the investigation aside for a few minutes, not to mention hobble around on an ankle that's obviously hurting you?"

L's black pupils widened; cavernous pools that spelt an eternity of conflict that few would ever be allowed to unravel into a clear train of events. Raito swallowed as he looked into the other man's eyes, distantly feeling himself wonder at the extent of thought that was firing behind those irises, brain hyperactive and highly developed. Even at his most furtive, Ryuuzaki couldn't disguise it. It was fascinating to Raito. Alluring even.

_Okay, that sounded a little odd. _

"I'm not exactly upset," Ryuuzaki spoke uncertainly. He watched Raito carefully, almost as if he didn't think it were appropriate to speak to him. "I just wished to think somewhere else for a while. Ordinarily I would have done so alone, however this wasn't an option, for reasons obvious."

_Yeah. Nice try_. Raito rolled his eyes openly. "Didn't you tell me when we first met that your reasoning ability drops by forty percent if you don't sit with your knees level with your chest? I find it strange that you're walking around to help you think."

"Maybe reason has nothing to do with what I'm thinking about."

Raito paled at those words, heart beginning to hammer painfully in his chest. _Was this what he thought it was? Was Ryuuzaki finally going to come clean and tell him what his answer was?_ Mouth dry, he fought to articulate his question through a throat full of sandpaper. "And just what are you thinking about?"

L eyed him appraisingly, muscles in his face lax and unassuming. "Why do you want to know?"

_Oh very funny, Ryuuzaki._ Raito gritted his teeth and forced himself to remain outwardly calm. _Would you quit toying with me already! _"Well, you're obviously struggling over whatever it is you're thinking about, and I know you'd never stoop so low as to ask someone outright for assistance. If you tell me what you're so preoccupied with, I'll muse out loud on my opinions, so I can indirectly give you help." He shot a sidelong glance at the detective, mouth twitching in a small grin.

However, he received a flat stare in response. "I don't need your help, Raito-kun." The pointed reply conveyed a multitude of feelings, most of which were indignant, resentful and otherwise not pleasant.

"I never said you did," responded Raito swiftly, mind flooding with dismay and hastily suggesting ways to patch things up. _Not good! Not a good turn at all! _"I just said that I _could_ indirectly do so. And besides," he lowered his voice, pushing aside the flush of embarrassment that threatened to claw its way onto his features, "I'm worried about you." The admission slipped past his lips before he could stem its flow. His brain burned with alarm at its implications, and he could feel the blood beginning to sap away from his limbs to accumulate in his cheeks.

"Worried, Raito-kun?" L blandly queried, fidgeting with the handcuff constricting his wrist. "Whatever about?" There was a glint in his eye; a glint that Raito recognised from only a few hours ago, when they had received their major lead into the identity of the new Kira. He had found a key piece of evidence, and was about to dissect it entirely.

And Raito was going to give it to him utterly, if he wasn't careful.

"You. I'm worried about you being worried." He tentatively offered this reply for inspection. _Let him make of it what he will. I'm getting too tired for this. I've been dodging this for too long. _Raito's brain was handing in its resignation. It had all been too much.

"And why would you do that?" probed L without hesitation. "I'm older than you, Raito-kun. I know how to handle my own affairs without your assistance, or your concern." That glint still hadn't shifted, even after Raito's confession. Was L still trying to pry more out of him, even after that little milestone? How obscene…

"I know that," Raito waved the assertion away restlessly. A chilly sweat had broken out on his brow, nerves flooded with cold adrenalin. There wasn't a better time for this to be admitted; they were alone, out of the security cameras' range and not likely to be disturbed.

And Kira was backed completely into a corner.

His mouth stumbled on the words, Raito cursing his lack of elegance mentally. "I…you know…well." He stopped, mortified at his own failings. _Damn you, stupid brain, work with me here! This is not the time to stop functioning! _L stared benignly as he cleared his throat to begin again.

"I know that you're fine on your own, Ryuuzaki. I've known that for a long while. I don't know a lot about you, but I do know that." Raito's eyes closed for a moment. _Whichever deity other than Ryuuk might actually exist, please, give me strength for a moment_. His brain certainly wasn't going to help him right now. In fact, it appeared to be advertising for a new owner even now.

"I worry about you because I care about you. You're the best friend that I've ever had, Ryuuzaki. And better than that." He opened his eyes and fixed them on the stoic detective, indecision gone from his voice. He spoke now with a power that he only utilised when delivering statements of certainty, or being completely resigned to whatever fate had in store for him. _Now what?_ He hadn't added the rest of his admission. _And I also think, that if you don't feel the same way, I will never be the same person again. I will only be able to be Kira. Yagami Raito will no longer have a place in this world. _Melodramatic, yes, but also somewhat true. If his clumsy feelings were rejected now, then he would be Kira. Kira alone. L was all that kept his old self grounded to reality. His old idealism. His old optimism.

It had taken him this long to realise it.

Shaking slightly from effort, Raito glanced down and also realised that he had been clinging to the other youth's arms the entire time. His fingers had shifted themselves into a tight, demanding hold around Ryuuzaki's forearms, pinning him in place. L stared back at him with the purest shock written all over his face, yet Raito still felt no compulsion to let go. Embarrassment burned his face, but still something beneath his skin itched with longing to pull the slight figure into a possessive embrace. His furious will steeled him against the act, so he was left to stare helplessly at the detective.

_Idiot! Fool! What on earth were you thinking! _His old self-control was rushing back now, protective measures against mental interpretation rebuilding themselves. Dim irritation at his emotional lapse began to throb and bloom at the back of his head. Raito fought the urge to laugh mirthlessly. _All for nothing, was it, Ryuuzaki? _He'd confessed for what? No good reason? But of course… L still stood there, stunned into silence. Had he really expected anything more? Bitterness soaked into every crevice of his consciousness.

At that moment, the small muscles in L's jaw twitched. Raito flinched, eyes flying to the detective's face. A flicker of movement, and L's mouth cracked open. There was only a cautious blankness in his eyes as he slowly spoke.

"You haven't told me anything that I haven't already guessed, Raito-kun."

At that a new surge of hope burst into Raito's mind, staggering himself with the sheer whim of it. _What is WRONG with me? Am I losing my mind for real? Since when have I ever been so emotional! This makes no sense at all! _

"I just… wasn't expecting you to be so open about it," admitted L at last, face as guarded as ever. He made no move to comfort Raito, nor, thankfully, to back away, he simply stood there, impassive. "Especially since this is the main source of my discomfort."

_Thought so_. Raito's analytical mind made a comeback, and launched itself back into work as if the last minute hadn't even happened. "Please, Ryuuzaki, you should not be afraid to tell me what is bothering you," he insisted, still unwilling to rein in the admission that had come barrelling out so ungraciously. "Why don't we just come clean for once?"

L's face darkened into a cryptic mask. "Why should I tell you what is bothering me, when for all I know, this is just some elaborate hoax in order to throw me off the investigation? Any admittance on my behalf would be a victory for Kira."

"And what if I'm not Kira?" demanded Raito, hurt pouring into his maelstrom of ill-constrained emotion, regardless of the truth of the detective's statement. "What then?"

L stared demurely back at him. "Indeed, Raito-kun; what then?"

"This is just getting stupid now, Ryuuzaki!" Raito couldn't contain himself any longer, and the words exploded out in a blur of frustration, anger, and something that sounded horribly like a plea. "We've been dancing round in circles for too long. Let's just come clean already! I'm tired of thinking that I'm being lied to, and thinking that you think that I'm lying!" He fixed his eyes on the perplexed detective's, steeling his body in an attempt to regain control of his tumultuous impulses. _This will not do. I need to talk this out and win under both of our terms. I still need his answer! I am going to get it out of him!_

"And how do you propose to do that?" asked L archly. Shaking his head, the detective's face disappeared under the dark veil of his own fringe. "There is nothing I can say that will convince you that I am not lying, nor you to I."

"I'm not lying to you, Ryuuzaki," insisted Raito quietly. He hesitated, slackening his grip on the other youth's arms, and raised one hand into the air as if he would place it on the other youth's shoulder, closer to his face. At the sight of his intended action, L paled visibly, looking as if he would flinch should Raito put it into fruition. A pang stabbed at Raito's chest, and his hand froze, sagging back to his side. _Not yet._

"Please," he tried again. "I don't know how to make you trust me, but if there is any way that you know of, please tell me."

"I can't give you that answer, Raito-kun," replied L, eyes locked onto Raito's own. There was something peculiar in those pupils; a challenge of sorts. In this tentative game, L was the one who was still to reveal most of his cards. As far as Raito was concerned, he'd virtually strewn his hand all over the table. And it was damnably annoying.

"Then can you tell me one thing?" persisted Raito. "Just tell me one thing. So that I know that you're speaking to me as an equal. As a friend."

L's eyebrows quirked and a furtive look passed over his eyes. "You don't trust me?"

Raito hesitated, jaw clenching. "No. Not really. I know you've been toying with me for a long while." It was the truth, after all. There was no shame in admitting it. Besides, L's deceitfulness and over-active mind were some twisted part of his charm.

He must be out of his mind. Truly. Utterly.

"It's a fact," conceded L. There was no remorse visible on his face, but Raito couldn't be sure what the detective was actually thinking.

"So can you appreciate that this isn't only hard for you?" Raito's head lowered, letting his gaze drift to the ground. "I feel as if I'm the only one telling the truth here. And I _am_ telling the truth. You've been around me for long enough to know the difference by now."

Well, mostly. There were obviously some exceptions to that rule.

There was a pause. The hammer of Raito's heart pounded in his head. He was sure that L could hear it, as well as the disgusted screams of his own pride. This was the most difficult thing he'd ever done in his life. He'd never anticipated _anything_ like this happening when he'd written his first name in the Death Note.

"Perhaps."

The one word was enough to fill Raito's deflating spirit with a rush of hope. Could he force an answer out of Ryuuzaki after all? It was worth a try.

"Ryuuzaki. Let's make a deal. I'll tell you the truth about everything. I'll admit everything there is to admit about how I feel. I've more or less done that already, but if you tell me this one thing, I'll know that you're listening to me, and hearing me as a person, and not as a suspect. I don't want you to look at me as just another member of the team. I want you to look at me as Yagami Raito. Myself."

L now sported a look of bewilderment on his face, but there was a sharp glint in his eye that suggested otherwise. He still hadn't dropped his charade of naivety. Still hadn't started to play the game with the same rules. Raito swallowed. This was not going to be easy at all.

"And what do you want me to tell you?" Ryuuzaki's voice was hoarse, as if forced with great effort. _He knows already. _It was written all over the detective's face now. A pallid dread accompanied by the smallest spark of hopefulness. Even Raito couldn't interpret that expression clearly. Was that Ryuuzaki's intention? To keep him guessing even until the last minute? Or was the detective himself still unsure of his own answer?

"I want you to tell me your name. Your real name. So I can address you personally, and not as a member of the investigation. So you can see me as someone outside of the Kira investigation."


	13. The Price of Victory

………

………..

Mind Games

Chapter Thirteen: The Price of Victory

…………

_Try to slip past his defence_

_Without granting innocence_

_Lay down a list of what is wrong,_

_The things you've told him all along_

_And pray to God he hears you_

_He will do one of two things_

_He will admit to everything_

_Or he'll say he's just not the same_

_And you'll begin to wonder why you came_

"Ryuuzaki," Raito stared, transfixed at the other youth. His chest heaved with nervous energy. It felt as if he were about to faint or vomit, or perhaps both at once. His feet were numb, muscles dull and threatening to give out on him at any second. _This is madness…pure and utter madness_. Given the choice, he would never have fallen into this situation.

But that was the problem. Choice. He no longer seemed to have one. This was out of his hands. It was L's choice that mattered now.

L blinked slowly back at him, cautious eyes scanning Raito's haggard features. Behind thick curtains of fine black hair, he peered at Raito with the expression of one who is, and always would remain, an enigma, while the other youth sweated before him. Raito felt as if every emotion he had ever concealed was pouring onto his face, into plain view. It was all in his mind, he knew, but still he felt as if he were the one exposing everything. It frightened him, yet oddly enough, was also a comfort. Defiant thoughts sprang to mind. _All my cards are on the table. I'm not playing mind games any more. This is my first clean break since I became Kira. _How bitterly true that was…

"My name?" L asked, as if in wonderment. As if he had never been asked that question in his life, and wasn't even entirely sure what a name _was_. Bemused expressions swam across his face, with no hint that he understood just what pain Raito was being subjected to. Not that Raito could trust L's face to tell the truth about the detective's thoughts. He'd fallen into _that_ trap before.

"Yes," replied Raito, he distantly noticed that his teeth were so tightly clenched he could feel the enamel scraping. His dentist would have a heart attack for a very uncommon Kira-related reason, he mused distantly. His tongue felt like a piece of old leather in his mouth. HYet he barely noticed it. All of his attention was fixed on the stoic detective, standing soundlessly in front of him and completely immobile.

L shook his head slightly, eyes never leaving Raito's. "Why would you ask me for my name? Why not some other question that's easier to answer, and-" His eyes narrowed slightly, "-not one so pertinent to the case?" The detective cocked his head on one side, staring critically back at the trembling youth.

Fingers flexing, contorting and then bunching into fists, Raito sought out L's attention, still mostly hidden by hair, with a face wracked by earnestness. Lips trembled, and he felt himself mumble despite himself and his brain's disgust. "Come on, Ryuuzaki. _Please_. This is all I want. All I've wanted for the longest time. This is all I need to know that you don't see me as just another part of the investigation. Make me be a person other than the Kira suspect in your eyes!"

_And how true it was_. Raito had a choice, but only L could make it for him. He could pick up his mantle of Kira again, as the Death Note beckoned to him, or he could never look at it again. Let the Kira case take over his life, and never have L remove the handcuffs. Live the rest of his life at the detective's side, chasing a phantom murderer that no longer existed.

But that was no longer an issue.

"This is all I want," he insisted again to the expressionless L, head jerking adamantly. Thin strands of chestnut brown caught his eyes, and he brushed them away impatiently. "I only want to know your name to know that you trust me. That's all it takes. If you can't answer me directly about how you feel, then please, just give me a sign to know that you actually care. Let me see that this isn't all about the case for you. That's why I'm asking you for your name; to prove to _you_ that I'm _not_ Kira, and for you to prove to _me_ that you don't think that I am." _This is all it would take for me to push aside my other self. The self that you hunt, and the self that I must either be utterly, or destroy right now. You could kill Kira here and now Ryuuzaki. What will you do?_

"I trust you about as much as I can trust anyone, Raito-kun," replied L mildly. His eyes now held a curious light that Raito had never seen before. It was something unfamiliar. Something that spoke of a new side to the detective; a side that had been suppressed, or simply never realised. Raito couldn't be certain of which, but he had a funny feeling that it might even be the former. Though he couldn't chance pinning his hopes on it. "I have spent every waking moment with you for the past few months, Raito-kun. You have been the closest thing to a friend that I've ever had, and even more so for that matter. It would be an incorrigible fallacy to state otherwise."

"So you think that anyone could be Kira then?" challenged Raito, "if you trust me as much as anyone else… then you truly trust no one at all?" The logic operated, and so did his knowledge of the detective's paranoid nature. Raito could feel his heart sinking deeper into his chest, air swirling aimlessly in his lungs. Useless..? This confrontation was going to amount to nothing?

L looked up mutely. Those unfathomably dark eyes were cold. "Who I trust, and who I do not trust, Raito, are not your business." There was a dangerous edge to his voice. That streak of pride was shining through; that mark of independence that he jealously guarded, along with his title of L.

"Yes they are," shot back Raito instantly. "In this case, it's definitely my business. I want to know if you trust _me_. You call me your friend, and hint at being receptive to seeing me as even more than that, and yet you still won't even allow me to know who you are!"

"What does it matter?" asked L. One eyebrow quirked with a challenge. "If you care so much for me as you claim, then does my name really matter?"

"Of course it matters!" hissed Raito, eyes blazing with a new anger. "It matters to me more than anything at the moment! More than anything ever has!" At those words, L's eyes widened with shock. Pale hands previously clenched in annoyance into tight fists went slack, dropping loosely by the skinny youth's sides. It was as if Raito had just robbed him of all of his strength, dashing his resolve in one felled blow.

"You're not yourself, Raito-kun," murmured L, eyes still wide with amazement. The detective's lower lip had loosened: as close as the youth would ever come to dropping his jaw in bewilderment. "You're not rational. This isn't like you at all." Were his hands trembling? Raito couldn't quite believe the sight. He had finally gotten to the detective as much as he had gotten to him!

Petty vengeance was a wonderful thing at times.

"And how would you know that?" retorted Raito, running one hand through his cropped hair impatiently, staring off to one side distractedly. "You keep saying that you know who I am, Ryuuzaki, and yet you refuse to tell or show me anything to support this claim."

"I beg to differ on that one," replied L quietly. Raito frowned, turning back to his demure rival. He drew a steady breath, trying to quell his sheared nerve-ends, forcing his brain to slow down. It was jumping to conclusions. This would not do, not if he wanted to get any kind of favourable reaction from his confusing rival. They were getting somewhere, but for once Raito didn't know what would happen next. This was the only person in the world who could leave him guessing.

"How…" he took another breath, closing his eyes for a second, "…how can you say that I'm not being myself, when you hardly understand what I'm saying? What possible justification could you give that?"

"Because I know you better than anyone else in the world does," said L simply. "I've told you already that you're the first friend that I've ever had. We've been handcuffed together for months. I've religiously profiled you as the most likely suspect for the Kira case. You've hidden nothing from me."

Raito sneered. "Oh really? You've obviously slipped in your profiling abilities then, Ryuuzaki, because you missed something incredibly important along the lines." _Like the fact that you've managed to reduce me to a snivelling, pathetic excuse for humanity just by denying me the answer to one simple question!_

L cocked one eyebrow, staring archly at Raito. "I highly doubt that."

Raito glared back venomously in response, blood pressure rising again. "Justify that!" He leant in closer to the detective, purposely invading the socially awkward youth's personal space. Ryuuzaki barely flinched, but Raito knew that he was suppressing the desire like mad. It was ingratiating somehow to know that even if he wasn't showing the outward signs of discomfort, the detective was acutely aware of Raito's proximity and was not at all happy about it. He gritted his teeth together, breath escaping in a low hiss. The draft from it wafted the detective's fringe, but still L refused to even blink or move away. After all, that would be a victory on Raito's behalf.

"How in hell's name can you say that you know everything about me, when you obviously don't understand what you're dealing with! You haven't a clue just how much this means to me!" Raito threw the same accusation out again, determined to get a response, even if he had to resort to threats and repetition. _See what you've made me, Ryuuzaki. You've created a monster for me that's even more repulsive than Kira in your eyes._

"I know exactly what this means to you, Raito-kun," hissed L in return, eyes narrow. "And I also know that if you don't stop trying to threaten me, I will be forced to kick you. Hard."

"Don't try to change the subject," snorted Raito. He wanted to reel backwards with disdain, and also potentially to preserve vital limbs, but knew that L would interpret that as a victory as well. They were galloping towards the finish line. Only one of them could be the victor in this game, and Raito had too much to lose now. He had to change tactics. With a sigh, his hands moved upwards to cup L's shoulders, fingers digging in just enough to be possessive but not painful. Reproach swam in his eyes, quelling the fires of rage that had smouldered there. He could see the detective numbly processing this sight before him. _Let him think whatever he wanted to…_

"If you know how much your trust means to me, then why do you toy with me like this? Do you get a kick out of games like this? I've had my fill of this, Ryuuzaki. I want to know the truth. I _deserve_ to know the truth." He glared down at Ryuuzaki, head awash with unspeakable rage and hurt. A lot of hurt. He had no memory of ever hurting quite like this before. Had no memory of anything ever being so important to him, and yet so uncertain.

_This is what it meant to be powerless_. Kira knew no such feeling. Raito, however, was now a tentative tourist into this new world.

L's face was now contorted with a peculiar expression of anguish and irritation. He was obviously as uncomfortable as Raito with their argument. Somewhere in the tangled depth of his mind it vaguely occurred to Raito that the detective was probably even more unaccustomed to these matters than he himself was. At least Raito had had the experience of fending off and strategically arranging for high-school girlfriends and Misa's impulsive affections to know what to do in situations that commanded emotions. He was good at feigning the correct reactions, pasting on masks that were considered appropriate attire for the occasion. Ryuuzaki however, if Raito's suspicions were anything to go by, had never done anything like this, and had probably planned to keep it that way.

Neither of them had ever formed true feelings for anything in their lives.

That thought echoed resoundingly in the back of Raito's skull, colliding with his mishmash of hurt, anger and bitterness. Was this Ryuuzaki's awkwardness coming through, rather than rejection? Did the detective simply not have the past experience, or even the faintest idea what he was supposed to do now? Or did he still only see Raito as Kira?

That was the fear that he was trying to quell most of all.

"A kick out of playing with your head, Raito-kun?" L blinked back at the other youth, seemingly unperturbed by the fact that he was being manhandled so. "You underestimate me entirely. Only you are capable of making yourself confused. As far as I'm concerned I've been perfectly clear on my stance towards you."

That does it.

"Well then obviously you need to work on your stances!" Raito curbed his voice to a minor explosion, but it still echoed painfully in the narrow corridor. _Anything louder and the microphones further down the hall will pick us up_. _I do not want to be interrupted by Watari now!_ "I have no idea what you think of me, other than that I'm the most likely candidate for being a mass murderer! I care about you so damn -" He stopped, awkward, but shook his head slightly. _In for a penny, out for a pound. If I'm going to come clean, I might as well give him every detail to use against me, rather than withhold information and have it dug out later._

"Ryuuzaki. I don't know how on earth it has come to pass, or why, or when it started," Raito's eyes were locked determinedly on Ryuuzaki's own, forcing the older man to pay attention. "But I no longer see you as L, a detective, or even as another colleague." He hesitated. The air he was breathing seemed to have thickened, clogging his lungs and making his voice die as it was expelled heavily from his throat.

"I think I love you."

He could hardly dare to move. Ryuuzaki had gone very still, eyes glazed as if he had retreated completely into the back of his brilliant mind. Even clutched by the shoulders and stared down, the detective had still managed to withdraw for a strategic meeting. Raito felt numb all over. That last sentence had taken more energy than anything he had ever said before. It was as though he had nothing left, nothing more to give. Had he been given the option, he would have laid down and slept from sheer exhaustion. A massive weight had just been lifted. A weight he hadn't even known that he'd been carrying.

Slowly refocusing on his situation, Raito cleared his throat, suddenly desperate to break the silence. He started to see L staring thoughtfully back at him, eyes glittering with some unknown emotion. Raito watched with disbelief as the detective lifted one hand to his mouth and began to chew pensively on his thumbnail. Just like he did in the investigation rooms.

_This is just another mystery for him to solve and push to one side._

"You understand, Raito-kun," spoke L softly, "that the question you are asking me is very incriminating." He didn't say anything about Raito's declaration. Didn't need to. It was written all over his face that he was completely unable to express any kind of response to this kind of thing.

"Yes, I know," he nodded. "But I figured that it was the best way to get a thorough response out of you with minimal effort. If you tell me your name, it tells me that you trust me, and not only that you don't believe that I am Kira, but also that you aren't speaking to me as just another member of the investigation team. It will also let me prove to you that I'm not Kira, since there's not a chance in hell that I'll kill you, even knowing what Kira seems to need." He was babbling, and he knew it, but he didn't want the silence to lapse again. Raito blinked. What was the burning behind his pupils all about?

L chewed silently for a moment. "You've carried this information in your head for a long time, haven't you Raito-kun?" he asked, voice so faint Raito had to strain to hear it. He nodded once in response.

"I can understand your logic behind the question, though I don't like it. I understand why you ask me." The detective continued, voice painfully low and face caught in the throws of wonderment.

"So what will it be, Ryuuzaki?" Raito asked, trying not to let the pleading note in his voice escape to the foreground of his words. "Please, will you tell me your name?"

L looked up, removing his thumb from his mouth and eyelids lowering. He paused, drawing a shaky breath and glancing down at the floor for a brief moment. Eternally dark pupils flickered upwards again, fixing onto Raito's rapt expression, interrupted only by rampant strands of midnight hair.

"My name, Raito-kun, has not changed since our first introduction. And as for my feelings towards you, they too have not changed since our first meeting. Nothing has changed but your perspective."

All of the muscles in Raito's body locked up. He could feel the blood draining from his face, pooling all the way down to his feet as if it would seep into the carpet and leave him a dry husk of former humanity. Ryuuzaki's words had already achieved much the same thing. _His feelings towards me have not changed since our first meeting. In our first meeting, he thought I was Kira. He introduced himself as L. The detective L. _

_He is still the detective, and I am still the suspect._

With that, the detective pulled himself easily from Raito's grasp and began to slope away, turning back down the passage from which they had come from without a word. He didn't even wait for Raito to react, didn't even give the other youth a chance to look more clearly at his face, still shrouded in his tangle of thick dark hair.

_Nothing has changed but your perspective._

Deadened limbs were pulled into motion by the detective's exit, and Raito's brain worked mechanically as he was tugged along the corridor. What did Ryuuzaki mean? _How could he mean anything other than the obvious translation? _The walls were a dull blur, Raito's eyes refused to focus. He felt himself trip on the carpet, but no sensation reached him, legs plodding methodically onwards without once engaging his brain.

_Nothing has changed_.

Ryuuzaki's feelings hadn't changed. He had felt nothing, no difference, not even the slightest faltering of emotions towards Raito throughout their entire ordeal together. All of Raito's fumblings. _That stupid, idiotic, brain-dead kiss._ None of it had got through.

_Nothing._

Saliva burned the back of Raito's throat, forcing him to swallow gingerly. _So_. That was that then. He had been rejected, or so it would seem. He let his eyes rise from where they traced the plain patterns of the smooth flooring below him, rise to focus on the middle of Ryuuzaki's back. The flexing of the other male's shoulder blades held his attention for moment, lost in the rhythm of the subtle motion. Raito felt something inside himself tearing, shredding as he stared balefully at Ryuuzaki's unresponsive spine. Nothing had changed between them.

_And yet, everything has changed._

As if he could feel Raito's penetrating stare piercing into his vertebrae, L turned slightly, inclining his head towards the other youth. Hair still scattered itself loosely before his eyes in a cloudy mask, but Raito could pick out the glitter of the detective's pupils, unreadable as ever.

"Is something the matter, Raito-kun? You're being very quiet." There was a vague note of concern in Ryuuzaki's voice. _Why should he be concerned? _Thought Raito bitterly. _He's just crushed what little remained of my original self in one sentence. Why should he ask me what's wrong now?_

"Nothing's the matter, Ryuuzaki," he forced. A fake smile hoisted itself to his lips, eyes closed in a caricature of relaxation. "Thank you for your answer. I know now where I stand and can conduct myself in an appropriate manner. We should really get back to the investigation. We're so close to Kira it's almost unbearable." Retreating behind the curtain of good manners and detached intellect, Raito mustered what remained of his strength and faced down his rival.

_How true those words were_. Raito could feel a little piece of himself dying with every passing second. It was as though he were a monument being torn down by the winds of time in fast-forward. The resolve that maintained his identity, separate from that of the murderous megalomaniac Kira, was crumbling at a faster rate than he could hold back. The one who had been holding that barrier, unwillingly it would now seem, was the spindly detective.

Ryuuzaki blinked, as if puzzled by something. Raito frowned in response. _What? Did I just make myself sound like Kira somehow?_ He opened his mouth to question the detective, but L abruptly turned around again, shutting Raito out with the curve of his shoulder. "You're right, Yagami-kun. We need to devote ourselves to the investigation, now more than ever." There was a note of…something in his voice, but Raito was too distracted to notice. He just wanted to withdraw. Throw himself into the case and think of nothing more.

It seemed that Raito was no longer fully aware of the passage of time. Had it been weeks? Days since their conversation? He didn't know. The case had shot into intense confrontations, including those that surprised even him in his shattered state. Not that anyone could tell, of course. His own father couldn't tell that something monumental had happened in his son's life, couldn't detect anything out of the ordinary when the two returned to the office after their brief walk. Not that Raito was one to let his emotions escape from him.

That would never happen again. Kira doesn't have emotional ties to anything other than justice.

Misa's adoration was paying off, even if it was putting the preppy model in danger, narrowing down their suspect. And L… L seemed even quieter. Not that Raito was surprised. After all, even Ryuuzaki had to understand that it was socially unacceptable to throw someone's affections back in their face and then act like nothing had happened.

Well, he was fairly sure that was why Ryuuzaki was so jumpy and antisocial of recent. He couldn't think of any other explanation for it. Maybe it was the case. They were so close to catching the fake Kira it was almost painful.

Raito was working mechanically, as if in a daze. Something had died in him, however long ago he and Ryuuzaki had last spoken more than a few terse lines. They didn't even speak to each other after the investigation hours were over. Life comprised of silence. It suited Raito just fine. A tomb is supposed to be silent.

They were heading off now, flying away from headquarters on to the scene. To catch the pseudo Kira, Higuchi, tracked, outmatched and outwitted. An elaborate plan, conceived by the combined genius of the best three detectives in the world. L would capture one Kira tonight, seize his murderous weapon, and end the Yotsuba case once and for all.

And by the end of the night, Kira would have the Death Note back in his hands. His plan too would have flowed with the smooth professionalism that he could only have expected from one of his own ingenious schemes.

Kira would return and Raito would subside. Kira's rival would fall. He had won at long last.

The most terrible victory imaginable.

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life._

………….


	14. Epilogue: The Spoils of War

……………

……………..

Mind Games: Epilogue

The Spoils of War

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_Grieving for you,_

_I'm not grieving for you._

_Nothing real love can't undo,_

_And though I may have lost my way,_

_All paths lead straight to you._

_You're not alone,_

_No matter what they told you, you're not alone_

_I'll be right beside you forevermore._

_I long to be like you,_

_Lie cold in the ground like you._

_There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,_

_I'm coming for you._

It had all spiralled out of control. Utterly out of his hands. There was nothing more that Raito could do. Kira held the reins, Kira controlled his hand in the game. And Kira viewed Ryuuzaki as merely a piece in the way of his onslaught. A piece that could now be shattered, with the megalomaniac's weapon returned to him and every ounce of his manipulative nature fighting to avoid capture. Raito himself was too numb, too cold to respond. If Ryuuzaki didn't care, then perhaps this was the best path. Raito could continue as he had before, working towards a better world without petty distractions. Kira would rule, and all who opposed him would fall.

And Raito would lose everything that he had ever loved.

Did he really want to lose even more? Bad enough that he had lost Ryuuzaki's affections, but technically, he supposed, you can't lose what you never had.

This was for the best. There was nothing else that he could do. No one stood for long in Kira's path, and no one bested Yagami Raito.

Though Raito wasn't so sure that he wanted vengeance for his rejection. All he really wanted to do was find a dark corner somewhere to curl up and shut out the rest of the world. And his uncertainty was all that Kira needed to deal the final blow, uncontested.

When Ryuuzaki fell from his chair, toppling to earth in a boneless tangle of petrified limbs, it felt as if Raito were the one gripped by the savage contortions of a faltering heart, fallen hard onto the cold tiles of the floor, unable to save himself. He had known it was coming, knew it couldn't be avoided. Still couldn't believe what he was seeing. _Why is this happening? Why didn't I prevent it? Did I really want this?_

Kira assumed dominance in the youth's mind, moving in swiftly to prevent Raito from completely losing all vestiges of self-control. He took control for enough to grin malevolently down at the prone detective as he rasped his last breath, eyes stark with shock at the pain he felt, and the betrayal of the one who supposedly had loved him. The one he had rejected. Shock and pain were married in one stare, burning into Raito's eyes and scorching what humanity still lurked there. And then those great eyes rolled back into his skull for the last time, eyelids falling closed as heavily as the lid of a tomb. Waves of unadulterated pain washed over Raito, accumulating to a bloody head and released in an unholy shriek, a shriek such as he had not known he could make. And then it was through. Raito died.

He could not watch. Could not take any more. Withdrew into himself utterly, handing control over to Kira. Let Kira make his decisions, set out to make the world a better place through death and fear. Raito just didn't want to involve himself with anything any more. Kira had won the battle, and Raito had lost everything. This was Kira's world now. There was no place for the idealistic youth who had released him.

Even with Ryuuzaki gone, buried anonymously and ignobly, there was still no easy path for Kira to walk. No quick way to victory and dominion of a bright new world. L's successor rose - a child on the other end of the microphone. And for all his grief and silence, Raito still felt something twitch within himself as Near invoked memories that even Kira couldn't ignore. Wrapped in his cocoon of denial, living hollowly through the personality that Kira had come to be, Raito dully thought about this new annoyance for the homicidal genius to handle. Comparisons between the confident child and spidery youth flew all too easily to Raito's benumbed consciousness, even doused and drugged with Kira's lust for power. _Ryuuzaki_… _The child does not compare. Your methods differ too much_. The child jumps to conclusions, driving Kira into a corner with every heavy-handed move. It was frustrating, and for more than the reason that it infringed on Kira's hegemony. _You were more cautious, careful to accumulate evidence beyond a doubt. You were the superior opponent. This child holds no interest for me. _The vague thoughts resounded within Raito, keeping his awareness, even though he had completely absorbed the role of Kira into himself. There were fewer distinctions between the two now. Still enough to make Raito's private hurt just that; private. There was no remorse, no pity in the heart of the mass murderer. Death was too plebeian for Kira now.

All the same, this child seemed to be enough of a match mentally for the arrogant Kira. Months of dancing about one another, exchanging lie for lie, blow for blow, and it had finally come to this. A final confrontation between Kira and L's successor. A hideous parody of Raito's competition with L. The pale little boy even wore a grotesque mask of L's face to hide from the Shinigami's eyes. Stirring behind the murderer's eyes, Raito watched, and remembered, and was repelled.

_But it was also startling to see. What precisely had awakened behind the eyes of Kira, when he had strode into the warehouse to see that little figure hunched on the floor, impossibly dark eyes fixed on the ground? For a moment, just one foolish moment, he could have believed that Ryuuzaki was alive. Why did he still experience that throb within his chest? That surge of emotion powerful enough to make his ribs clench tightly and breath hitch? _Raito flickered within himself, stirred almost to wakefulness. _I am weaker than I have ever been, but I still remember. Still cannot let go._

Raito was distantly aware of his other self fighting furiously, exchanging mental blow after blow, and swapping tactics with ease. But that ease was becoming more strained. Raito could feel Kira's panic, his outrage at this competition. He was shouting, but he only dimly realised that it was his voice being used. _How strange._ Raito himself was too busy wondering why nothing had changed, even after all those years. _I killed Ryuuzaki. Why should I still be thinking those unnatural thoughts? _Lost in his own musings, Raito did not hear the gunshot, did not hear Kira's desperate pleas, bloody and twisted at Ryuuk's feet. 

And then it all came to naught. Kira's hollow victory was stripped from him, and his life ended in a few simple strokes of the Shinigami's pen.

All was plunged into darkness. Impenetrable, unyielding and inescapable.

All was darkness, but he was not drowning.

Raito blinked in the fog of the unknown, lifeless limbs seemingly weightless.

_Is this what death is supposed to feel like?_

Somehow, it wasn't going as he had always thought it would. Even before finding the Death Note and beginning Kira's crusade, Raito had mused over death and the afterlife. An early pessimist, he had dismissed any notions of heaven and hell as primitive human superstition and comforting thoughts to make the hardships endured during life somehow bearable. As if, in the end, it was all going to be repaid, honoured or rewarded.

And since when had nature ever done _that_ before?

Raito's resigned belief that the afterlife was a fantasy, and that after death the soul simply did not exist, was appearing to be one of the few cases in which he was, ironically, dead wrong.

_Why is it not all dissolving into nothing? I'm not alive… I know that much. There's no way that I can be alive. Kira was panicking…Ryuuk wrote my name into the Death Note, just like he said he would when I first met him. There's nothing more to it. I am dead. Kira is dead. This is death. _Thoughts swam in a distorted cacophony about his brain, flickering and difficult to focus on, yet somehow he was not fading. Raito tried to relax, tried to will everything away. _I want to let it all go. I made too many mistakes in life to want to dwell on anything. Just let it go to oblivion. I don't want to remember. _Images swam in his mind. His parents. His sister. Ryuuzaki. He tried to let them slip past his groping consciousness, tried to force himself to forget. _Let it end. I give up._

But the images were becoming clearer, not fading into nothing along with his sense of being. Raito felt a twinge of concern. Ryuuk couldn't have made a mistake, could he? _As if_. One did not escape death if it was borne on the wings of a Shinigami. This must be the afterlife; this strange, transient consciousness. This floating, weightless sensation, lost in a mishmash of his own unsorted thoughts. Apparently he was wrong. How strange…

But what was happening now? What was he seeing? It was changing even as he began to settle into this new rootless state of being. The lightness seemed to drain from his body, seeping slowly from his form and replaced instead by something akin to lead. He could tentatively feel his body returning to his control, away from tingling numbness that had engulfed him some unknown time before. It felt as if he had never opened his eyes in his life, muscles seizing up and shuddering painfully as he tried to crack the lids apart a little more. _I have a physical body even in death? How very bizarre. _Fragments of colour assaulted his senses through the scant openings that he managed to wedge between his impossibly heavy eyelids. _Greens, blues. Mostly greens_. A bright, lively green. The kind that suggested springy turf, trees and other such impracticalities. Raito had grown up well away from those things. Why was he seeing them now? _This makes no damn sense! _Dull frustration flitted through his brain, or whatever he had now.

He was starting to feel things more accurately again, rather than just a numb awareness that he did in fact possess limbs somewhere. There was a chilly breeze assaulting him from the feet first, causing his toes to curl reflexively. He was lying on something prickly that smelt of crushed foliage, which supported the grass argument at least. Was this truly the afterlife? Ryuuk had said that one who used the Death Note could not go to heaven or hell… Was this some form of purgatory, reduced to nature? Were all humans returned to a pre-industrial earth, abandoned to live as animals? His thoughts swerved to chase this new idea, until something happened to cut them off in pure shock.

"Long time no see, Raito-kun."

Everything froze. Time, if it did indeed have anything to do with matters any more, seemed to slow and Raito's heart, much to his amazement, started to hammer in his chest. _How in hell's name is it doing that?_ The thought rampaged through his head, but was ignored in favour of the other idea that had come bursting onto the scene along with the new voice. _How? Why? Why the hell do I give a damn?_

Cracked lips parted, new air rasped into and out of his lungs, but no sounds came out. Raito felt his brow furrow slightly with annoyance. Couldn't he speak? Had he forgotten? His body felt odd to him. New. As if it had never been used.

"Your body is restructuring itself according to your soul's memories of it." The bored drawl seemed nearby, but try as he might, Raito could not move his head even a little to try and see the speaker. "It'll take a while before you can actually do anything. I suggest you think hard about what you used to look like, and don't make any alterations that might upset your balance."

_What kind of advice was that?_ Had Raito been able to, he might have rolled his eyes, but as it stood, he wasn't entirely sure where the controls to those were at the moment. Instead he contented himself with lying there (was he lying down? He was almost 90 percent sure that he was) and trying to force his eyes open further. Other than those occasional snide comments by the voice, he couldn't detect any other signs of life. Or something like it. His mouth slackened and tightened, jaw working in small, ginger movements. Questions were burning the lining of his throat, but he was forced to be patient. Forced to wait until small sensations, smaller nerves and tendons, he realised, came creeping back, along with his modicums of physical control. It seemed to take an eternity, and his companion said not a word the entire time. It was achingly lonely, and made even more frustrating by the torrent of questions that Raito's brain was now posting as it roused itself into awareness.

Is this death? Did heaven and hell really exist after all? Why did he have a physical body? Does this mean that the soul really does reside within the body? Raito had never believed in the existence of the soul… he had always thought of death as the ultimate reduction to nothingness, a return to unawareness. How was it that his 'soul' had survived? How was it forming a body? Why didn't he have control over himself?

His tongue was like an old piece of meat lodged between his teeth, but he plied it to speech regardless, mentally wincing at its heavy, crude ability, lacking in delicacy. Old pride dies hard, it would seem. "Where am I?" He slurred the question, feeling no small amount of satisfaction at his success, and an equal amount of embarrassment at his clumsiness.

A pause. He could hear things more clearly now. His companion shifted, making something on the ground rustle. _Definitely grass. How very peculiar. I wonder if he knows why we're here._ The voice then interrupted his thoughts. "I'm surprised at you, Raito. I'd have thought that you of all people could have figured out where you are."

How intolerably cruel. Surely he knew how hard it was for him to talk, let alone field off rhetorical statements! Raito croaked weakly in protest, and hated himself for it. "D…death. Dead."

"How eloquent of you," chipped the voice dryly. "Congratulations: you are dead. How does it feel? Oh wait, don't tell me, I already know." There was a note of stark bitterness in the voice.

Raito decided not to even try and dignify that with an answer. He focussed instead on the other person's voice. _He knew that voice_. The rest of his memory was returning to him beyond that of his death and old form; memories of the last few months of his life. He sifted through those images and words dispassionately, as if he were analysing the life of a literary character. _Pain, death, isolation. Power. The unquenchable thirst for power_. His thoughts began to drift even further back, spiralling tendrils of emotion that twisted around themselves now laid bare to him. _It was all so simple_. He was no longer clouded by the intense mind battles between Near and Mello, puppeteer of his pawns Misa, Mikami and Takada. This was _his_ mind, _his_ story, _his _fight.

His mistakes.

Lying there immobile, he could see the beginning of the end: traced the transformation of himself into Kira; saw the contorting of his own values until they were no longer recognisable. He had become the thing he hated the most. The thing he had set out to destroy in the very beginning.

He had killed L.

That realisation came flooding into his skull like an avalanche of ice and rock; cold, cutting and deadening. For a while he lay there, aghast at his own actions. _Why had that happened?_ How could he have destroyed the one thing; the one person that he actually retained feelings for? He followed the trains of thought, mapped out as easily as if he were reading a book. His brain now seemed immune to the wearing of time, and surrendered information readily. _So, we never truly forget anything, do we? It is all simply pushed to one side. _It was all coming so easily to him. The argument. That cryptic answer that wasn't quite an answer, but was enough to dash Raito's hopes of achieving L's affections to the ground and dance on them for good measure.

L could have caught Kira. L would have destroyed Kira as easily as Raito had destroyed L. When Raito had made that decision, he had been thinking as Kira, not as himself. It had been a reactionary move. Rejection had wounded Raito to the point that he could not make decisions for himself, and so Kira had made it for him.

How very peculiar. He'd lost control of himself to…himself.

So who was he now? Kira or Raito?

His eyes were beginning to ease a little further open, unused to the light despite having been dead for only... how long? Who knew… Dull pain throbbed in his head, probably as a result of his mental reconstruction, but for now, mostly because of his revelation. _Kira had killed L because Raito had lost himself. When L died, so did Raito. He had killed the thing he loved the most, and then destroyed himself._

_The thing he loved the most_. It was all so obvious now. So obvious that Raito felt a smirk twitch at the corners of his mouth, a small chuckle bursting forth, rasping the sides of his raw throat. _Why had that been so hard to say? How many months had he nursed that feeling, unwilling to admit it even to himself? _He felt the person by his side stiffen, heard their indrawn breath and a moment's hesitation before they spoke.

"Why are you laughing, Raito-kun? I wouldn't have thought that death was so funny."

"No," he mumbled, jaws working furiously in an attempt to spring the muscles into life. "I'm the one who's funny. I've been such a fool for so long."

If his companion had been expecting an answer, then that certainly hadn't been the one on his mind. "What are you saying?" Raito could hear the combination of surprise, confusion and suspicion in the other's voice, playing a discordant melody in his awakening ears. _He was becoming himself again_.

"I'm saying," he said slowly, savouring the slight release in his tight jaw, "that I've been unaware of myself for a long time. Unaware of myself to the point that I've denied and destroyed everything that I held dear. I was possessed by something that was both me and not me. And I didn't even notice." He barked with laughter, ignoring the other male's silence. How incredible a thing this was! He, Raito, had missed something so obvious and so close to home!

"You can't take back what you do, Raito," came the voice softly. "If you destroy something, it remains destroyed. That is a fact of life."

"But I'm dead now," reminded Raito, delighted by the fact that he could now speak properly, albeit with a slight slur. "Facts of life don't apply any more."

"You sound happy to be dead in that case," responded the voice, cold with dark humour.

"Maybe I am." Raito threw that concept around his brain for a moment. He was…relaxed. More relaxed than he had been in years. No one was chasing him, no one was baying for his blood and trying to pull apart his pseudo-identities. There wasn't even Misa in the background to worry about. He was alone but for this person sitting beside him and making fun of him.

Kira wasn't there any more. Like a disease drawn from the body, the presence was simply gone. Raito was himself.

"I am," he finished with an air of decisiveness. Cold air rushed into his lungs, expelled in a warm burst. He could hear something like birdsong just on the breeze, the rustle of distant trees. It was somehow too realistic to be real… This place, wherever or whatever it was, it just didn't make sense.

"Why?" Now it was the other man's turn to ask the questions. Raito thought that more than slightly amusing, but perhaps that was his brain accidentally releasing endorphins.

"Because I'm not Kira any more. I never was Kira. Kira was always a separate part of me." Raito opened his eyes, forcing them open for the first time, and fixed them on the pallid, panda-eyed youth crouched beside his prone frame. "I've missed you, Ryuuzaki."

His eyes greedily took in the sight that he had been so accustomed to, and then deprived from for so long. The pale, spindly figure that looked so ungainly and fragile, yet held a surprising grace and powerful strike. Haphazard black bangs that had escaped the attention of a comb for years fell into curious eyes, wide with fascination at the world.

He loved those eyes. He loved everything about Ryuuzaki. He knew it now, and was not afraid. Even after inadvertently killing the detective, even after Ryuuzaki spurned him, he still loved him.

Despite Raito's own wonder, there seemed to be no echo of such emotions on the former detective's face. He sat there, hunched and pensive, with no outward sign of any thought other than a kind of bemused distraction. As if Raito were some kind of new dessert made without sugar: confusing, unnatural and yet oddly tempting at the same time. Raito shook his head slightly to remove that image.

"So you do remember." Ryuuzaki stared down thoughtfully at the younger man, technically aged for longer than he himself was allowed to. "I was beginning to wonder if you'd lost that portion of your memory. I haven't had the opportunity to observe anyone's re-composition other than my own, and of course I wouldn't know if I'd forgotten something."

Raito shook his head again, drinking in the sight before his eyes, head spinning. _I can't believe it. Is this my second chance? _Why_ am I being given a second chance?_ I've done nothing to deserve this.He had to ask. Had to see if Ryuuzaki knew the answer to that thought which was niggling at the back of his head. Raito drew a deep breath, "Ryuuzaki, where am I? The user of the Death Note can't go to heaven or hell, so why am I here?"

One of the spindly youth's eyes twitched. "Why are you calling me that?" He didn't answer the question. That surprised Raito somewhat, but not enough to concern him.

"You never told me your name, remember?" Raito stared up at the sky. Little white clouds scudded across the yawning expanse of pale blue. It was too clean, too clear to be anything he had ever seen before. "We had a huge argument about it. You must have forgotten. But never mind that, where am I now?"

He heard the other male swallow, and there was a brief pause before the former detective spoke. "You're in my afterlife."

"_Your_ afterlife?" Raito's attention shot back over to the pallid youth, muscles convulsing as he tried to force himself to sit up, but only succeeded in trembling all over. Did he usually feel this cold? Oh no… don't let him be…

"Yes, my afterlife," continued L in a monotone. His eyes were fixed on Raito's, wide and dark as ever, but with a strange glimmer to them. "I've had a bit of time to think over how 'heaven and hell' actually work, and where the Death Note and Shinigami fall into the equation." He paused, lifting his thumb up to his mouth and chewing absentmindedly on the nail. "It wasn't that hard to think of a way to get you into one or the other. Not for me at least." He flicked a piece of fringe away from his mouth, caught with his thumb.

"You wanted to help me, after all that happened?" Raito stared in amazement at the other youth, now examining his nail with exasperation, as if he had accidentally bitten to the quick. "Why? You didn't trust me enough to tell me your name, but you trust me enough to have me in your afterlife?" This just didn't add up at all. "I killed you!" he exploded at last.

Ryuuzaki glanced down at him and then back at his nail, eyes as unconcerned as ever. "It gave me something to pass the time with, I suppose. I knew that you were going to be subservient to the clause in the Death Note, so I thought I might puzzle it out. And it seems that I was correct in my prediction about how these dimensions work." He then rolled his eyes upwards slightly. "But don't think that I've forgotten what you did to me. I'm not the type to lose a fight easily." There was a savage note to his voice, and Raito saw a hard look pass over the detective's face.

Oh great. And he still couldn't move properly.

Ryuuzaki sighed, directing his attention away from his beloved thumbnail and staring down at Raito again, the look as suddenly gone from his eyes as it had come. The recently deceased young man however, was now lost in his own thoughts. "You brought me to your afterlife to get revenge on me? What was the point in that? A better punishment would have been to let me dissolved, or whatever was supposed to happen. And how on earth, or wherever this is, did you manage it?" He was burning with curiosity rather than fear at Ryuuzaki's potential vengeance.

The detective shook his head, black bangs flying every which way in the process. "There are better ways to extract revenge, Raito-kun. Have you learned nothing?"

"Never mind that," dismissed Raito, heart rising at those words. _Maybe there's a chance after all…_ "How did you get me here?"

"Well, it would appear that I have been sent to 'heaven', as some religions term it," Ryuuzaki began, eyes flickering upwards as he assumed the current position of storyteller, crouched meditatively on the turf. "I experimented a little to see how this 'heaven' operates. After all, what would be heaven for one person could be quite miserable for another. It would appear, therefore, that heaven is altered to fit the identity, habits and pleasures of the individual. As that individual's identity develops, so does 'heaven'. This place can reflect the living realm, or it can imitate the realm of the Shinigami, which I believe is a desolate place. The soul is a medium for life, but it is shackled by death, therefore it has its own realm. Its own area for existence."

Raito blinked. "_The user of the Death Note can go to neither heaven nor hell…_ The soul of the Death Note user loses its ability to control the afterlife?"

"Or so I infer," replied L demurely. "I have no hypothesis as to how the Death Note drains that ability from the user, but that is irrelevant. You have proven my theories." There was a hint of satisfaction in his voice.

Raito stared. "So you just had to think about how you wanted your 'heaven' to be in order to get me here?"

"Precisely." Ryuuzaki stared down at him, eyes penetrating and immobile. Raito now felt positively uncomfortable.

"Does that have anything to do with the fact that I'm now lying here naked and unable to move?"

The look that burned across Ryuuzaki's face was genuinely priceless. It was as if the detective's features didn't quite know where to arrange themselves, and settled for a combination of blushing a deep scarlet, then paling, his eyes widening even further and his mouth flinching with surprise. The detective was at a loss for words, and Raito was trying to remember how to coordinate laughter. "I…It…No… that's what- That's just what happens to everyone after they die!" His response came out in an angry stream, leaving the detective unusually panting for breath and still flaring a bright pink across his cheeks. "Souls do not come fully clothed!"

"It was a joke, Ryuuzaki," chuckled Raito. He could feel some of his strength returning; almost enough for him to sit up. "Thank you." The sincerity in his voice was strident and caught the detective's attention instantly. "Thank you for not leaving me to the darkness, or whatever it was that I was going to."

"You're welcome," replied Ryuuzaki, thankfully returning to his usual stoic self, but his cheeks remained stained with a pink flush. "But yes, I have had to reconstruct my concept of 'heaven' in order to house your spirit here. If that construction wavers, you'll be dispersed and sent back to wherever you were intended to go. The only thing that holds you here is my willpower." He crooked one eyebrow archly, staring pointedly at Raito.

Raito blinked, realisation spreading even as his arms moved slowly to his sides, muscles flexing carefully and pushing upwards to raise him off the ground. "In other words, even though Kira killed you, you still won. I'm completely at your mercy here unless I don't want to drift in eternal nothingness." _Oh how bloody cheery._

The look of triumph that flitted into Ryuuzaki's eyes was infuriating. "You won the battle, Raito-kun, but I won the war. You'd better make sure that I don't want to kick you out now, don't you?"

"What's gotten into you?" grumbled Raito, slightly miffed about the fact that somehow he had lost something. _Why am I complaining? This has got to be better than an eternity of nothingness. Perhaps I can start again, and make him feel something. Perhaps I can atone for the sins that I committed through Kira. _"I think being dead has given you a new personality. A more manipulative one, if possible." He curled his lip with mock disgust, swaying slightly as he fought to sit up straight. Ryuuzaki's arm was suddenly at his shoulders, steadying him. Raito frowned, nodding his thanks and then wishing he hadn't, as his head wobbled and ached, unbalanced.

"No. This is me, without the necessary screens." Ryuuzaki was watching him soberly. "I've now made a realisation. I misjudged you, Raito-kun. Back when you asked me for my name."

Raito's heart leapt, nerves suddenly scorching as if filled with fire. He felt his eyes widen and some pitiful expression approaching hope that he would otherwise have been ashamed of come to his face. "You're reconsidering?"

Ryuuzaki blinked. "Reconsidering? No, not at all. I've just realised that I overestimated you, Raito-kun. You didn't reject me at all. You just didn't understand my answer." The detective rocked back on his knees, sprawling backwards rump-first onto the grass, legs outspread before him and leaving Raito to the mercy of gravity. Thankfully the former homicidal maniac managed to steady himself, rather than forsaking what little dignity was left to him in his current unclothed and unstable state, which admittedly wasn't much.

"Didn't understand your answer? How do you mean?" A horrible feeling was passing into his stomach, leeching through his spine in cold waves. Had he miscalculated? Impossible! Yagami Raito didn't make mistakes like that. His interpretative skills were phenomenally high; higher than those of any other person he had ever encountered. But then again, this was Ryuuzaki that he was talking about. And, come to think of it, he hadn't been thinking very rationally at the time of their little conversation. Could it be possible that he had missed Ryuuzaki's meaning entirely?

"I mean, Raito-kun," said L softly, staring back at the other youth, confused and very much exposed before the detective. "I mean that I _told_ you my name. You just didn't believe me when I stopped playing mental games with you. You asked me to be honest, and I was, but you were so busy looking for double meanings that you missed the first meaning that was staring you in the face." He paused, eyes locked on Raito's face, and writ with an expression that now blossomed into… affection? It was something gentle at least. An expression that Raito had never witnessed on Ryuuzaki's face outside of a plate of cake.

"My name _is_ L, Raito-kun. L Lawliet. I told you my real name during our first meeting, and on our first meeting, I thought that you were the most fascinating being that I had ever encountered." He paused, staring pensively at Raito's face. His mouth worked as if he were rolling the words on the tip of his tongue, testing them out. The he hesitated. "I still do."

Raito didn't trust himself to speak. He was shaking so badly he could hardly stay upright, and this time it had nothing to do with the unfamiliar new body. His eyes were pinned by L's gaze. He couldn't rip them away, nor did he want to. _L_. _L Lawliet_. _He told me his name, and I was too…stupid to hear it._ That realisation ripped into him with all the shredding force of the bullet that he had taken earlier. _And even after I killed him, _killed_ him for crying out loud… even now he still…_ The thought burnt in his brain, scalding him internally and nearly wrenching a shriek of agony from his mouth.

"Ry-L…L…I'm so sorry." Raito felt something break in his voice. A sob of horror? "I..I can't believe that I didn't understand! How could I have missed it? I can't believe that I-" Frustration poured into his brain, and he bathed a tirade of self-loathing. _How could I have made such a stupid mistake! He offered me the chance that I wanted, and I killed him for it! _It felt as if all of the blood in his body had turned into fire, aching in his veins, strained with utter remorse.

"Everyone makes mistakes, Raito-kun," admonished L softly. "The only difference here is that you made a huge one." There was no note of accusation, no bitterness in his voice, and somehow that made it all the worse.

Raito closed his eyes, refusing to let angry tears fall. "I'm worthless. Completely worthless. I don't know why I prided myself on my intellect when it obviously doesn't exist," he spat bitterly. A sour taste clouded his mouth, filled his head with dull anger at his own failings.

"Don't be stupid," retorted L sharply. "Self-depreciating comments are too indulgent for you, Raito. Get a grip of yourself."

The detective leant forwards and prodded Raito sharply between the eyes, startling the youth into opening them. He was equally startled to see that the detective didn't withdraw after catching his attention. Large black pupils were steady, serious on his own. "This is not how I want you to atone for what you did," L spoke quietly. "I could not bring Kira to justice, but I can still make Yagami Raito see the error of his ways. Do you want to atone for what you were responsible for?"

"In any way possible," asserted Raito, forcing himself to steady enough to look the former detective, now no longer anonymous, head on. "L, I want to gain your trust and respect. I want you to forgive me for everything. Everything that I did. My faith in Kira was… blinded by my own faith in justice. I didn't even notice the twisting of my own beliefs."

L quirked an eye at the younger man. "Are you feeling alright, Raito-kun? I wasn't expecting you to cave so quickly." There was a more kindly note in his voice now, but Raito still wasn't sure that he should benefit from it.

"Never better," returned Raito. "I'm finally being honest with myself. And now, I want to make a start on appeasing you." He glanced to one side, not sure if he could look at L in the eyes. "I want to deserve the fact that you still view me as…fascinating."

He heard the detective inhale sharply. Knew that his eyes would have widened for a moment and then retracted stealthily to hide the flicker of vulnerability. Knew that the rules hadn't changed from their last mental bout. This one might be towards a different goal, but the game was essentially the same. Raito would try to be forgiven, would try to purge the last traces of Kira from his identity. Would try to deserve the detective's faith.

He had to ask. Had to know. "L, why haven't you given up on me? Why don't you hate me?" he asked plaintively, eyes searching the former world-class detective's features.

L blinked at him, lifting one hand to scratch his head, mussing up his tangled black locks even more. He pursed his lips, almost as if he didn't know the answer to that question himself. Then he answered, speaking slowly, as if mulling the words over even as he offered them. "I suppose it's because you are the first person that I've ever taken an interest in. The first person other than Watari to spend so much time at my side. I'm not used to human contact. Not used to anyone offering to feel anything for me beyond that of a comrade, and even then I seldom accepted those offers." He stared at the grass, fingers wrapping themselves around the thin blades. "I finally met an intellectual equal in Raito-kun, and more besides. I knew that…Raito-kun might not have understood what I had said to him. There was a very low percentage of possibility for that, but I realised it when… when I was dying. I saw you… you caught me, and then the other one, the other one inside of you, he grinned at me." He looked back up at Raito. "That was when I realised that part of you was Kira, and part of you was Raito, and that the part of you that was Raito had never abandoned me."

Heart pounding in his head, Raito felt as if every ounce of weight had drained from his body. Mustering up the new reserves of strength slumbering in his limbs, Raito forced himself to his feet, swaying terribly. L blinked up at him, then rose to help his former rival, but was caught instead by the downfall as the younger man slipped, staggering into the detective's arms. Embarrassed and somewhat dazed by the weight of L's words, Raito pushed himself upwards, hands on L's forearms for support. He could feel the detective's skin burning beneath him, could hardly dare to believe that after all this time he was this close. It still surprised him how warm the detective truly was. Hands pawed their way clumsily up to L's unmoving shoulders, resting there for balance. Raito leant the entirety of his weight onto the spidery L, eyes apologetic. "I'm sorr-" He was cut off as L fixed a heavy stare on him, and lifted one finger to the other youth's lips, silencing him.

"Your apologies, Raito-kun, are no longer necessary. Kira won the battle, but I won the war. You'll just have to acknowledge that."

Raito opened his mouth, half of him wanting to chuckle with disbelieving relief, the other half slightly annoyed that L had downplayed his part in the case so much. He was cut off most abruptly however, as L smirked in a most unexpected fashion, and bent down, silencing Raito's lips with his own, hands rising to cradle his face.

_This was going to be a most interesting new game._

…………….

Wild-filly: Finally! Good grief, I've loved this fic! I want to thank absolutely EVERYONE who has read this, whether you've just found it or you've been a beloved, wonderful, faithful reviewer all the way through. Mind Games wouldn't have worked without your support and dedication, forcing me to stop wallowing in uselessness and write something. I cannot thank you all enough! My undying love and adoration to you all – if I ever meet any of you in person, I'll buy you an icecream. With sprinkles if you left a review (I jest – you can have sprinkles anyway).

I want to thank **Lorekai** for forcing me to write this fanfic. Mind Games actually started out as an exercise purely to see if I could make a pairing that, funnily enough, I don't believe could work, and actually do just that. I wanted to follow the manga as closely as possible, complete with its true ending and death scenes, yet still manage to twist a believable back-story into it. The afterlife sequence seemed to me to be the only way that I could achieve just this, and for once, I make no apologies if you didn't like it.

Love to you all.


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